Jez said, "Yeah."
Claire sagged against the guardhouse. "Oh, God. I ... God. I feel so strange. It's like-nothing is what I thought."
Yeah, I know the feeling, Jez thought. When the whole world turns around and you have to adjust in two seconds flat. It happened to me, too, a year ago.
But none of that was going to help Claire. All she could say was "I'm sorry."
Claire didn't seem to hear her. She was speaking in a voice that was just a breath. "That's why... that's why all that weird stuff with your father. Nobody knowing anything about his family and all. I knew from the beginning that there was something about you; I just couldn't tell what it was."
Oh, great, Jez thought. Here it comes. She tried to keep her face impassive as Claire faced her squarely, raising her eyes with a look somewhere between wonder and dread.
"That guy-he said you were only half human. Which means you're half... something else?"
"I'm half human and half vampire," Jez said quietly. The interesting thing was that it was so easy to get out. She'd only ever spoken the words aloud to one person before: Hugh.
Now she looked to see if Claire would actually faint or just fall down.
Claire did neither. She just shut her eyes. "You know the really insane thing? I believe that." She opened her eyes again. "But-I didn't know you could be. Half and half."
"Neither did anybody else, till I was born. I'm the only one." Jez examined her cousin, realized that she really wasn't going to faint. When she spoke again, her voice came out more challenging than she meant it to. "So now that you know, Claire, what are you going to do about it?"
"What do you mean, what am I going to do?" Claire glanced around, then her voice dropped as her eyes glinted with interest. "Look-do you, like, have to drink blood and everything?"
"Not anymore," Jez said shortly. What was this? Who would have thought that studious, straitlaced Claire would have such an interest in vampires?
"But you mean you used to?"
"Before I came to live with you guys. I thought I was a full vampire then. But I found out that I could live without it, as long as I didn't use my powers."
"You've got powers? Really? What kind?"
"No kind. Look, enough with the questions. I told you, I'm not a vampire anymore."
"And you're not evil." Claire said it flatly.
Jez looked at her, startled. "What makes you say that?"
"I heard what you were talking about, saving the world and all. I didn't understand it, but it sounded like you were on the right side. And-" Claire hesitated, then shrugged. "And I know you, okay? I mean, you're arrogant and stubborn and you never explain anything, but you're not evil. You just aren't-inside. I can tell."
Jez laughed. A real laugh. She couldn't help it.
Of all people, Claire. She'd misjudged this girl who was her own age but had nothing else in common with her. Her cousin had unexpected depths.
"Well, thanks," she said. "I try not to be too evil- these days." Then she sobered. "Look, Claire, if you really think that, and if you really believe that the stuff you heard was true-"
"About the end of the world? I don't believe it. I mean, I heard it, and I believe you believe it-and when I first heard it I kind of believed it, but-"
"Just-skip the rest and plain believe it, Claire. It happens to be the truth. And I'm trying to do something about it."
"Something about a Wild Power, right?" Claire wasn't sagging anymore. She looked almost excited. "But what's a-"
"You don't need to know. The point is that if you want to, you can help me."
"I can? Really?"
"You can help me by going back to school and forgetting that this ever happened. You can help me by keeping my secret and not ever saying a word about this to anybody. And, incidentally, you'll be keeping your family safe at the same time."
Claire looked away, worked her jaw. "This stuff you're doing is pretty dangerous." It wasn't a question.
"Very dangerous." Jez stepped back. "And I'm late for it right now. So do we have a deal? Will you help me or not? Can I trust you?"
"Or otherwise you're gonna kill me, right?" Claire looked at her sarcastically.
Jez rolled her eyes. "Don't tempt me. Seriously, are you going to help?"
"No."
Jez froze, looking down at the shorter girl. "What?"
"Jez-don't get mad, but I don't think I can. Not that way." Claire was looking back up steadily, her small face serious and surprisingly determined. 'I mean how can I possibly just walk away, after hearing all that? If everything you said is true, how can I forget?"
"You can because you have to. We all do what we have to do." Jez looked around the station. Another train should be coming any minute. She simply didn't have time to spend convincing a human to stay out of business that would kill her. To properly explain it to Claire would take days.
All she could do was ask for something she never would have imagined Claire could give her.
"Claire... there's no way I can convince you or make you do what I want. But I'm asking you-" She let out her breath and went on: "I'm asking you to trust me. I'm asking you to walk away and at least try to forget this. And to believe that I'm trying the best I can to do the right thing."
Claire kept looking at her steadily for a moment. Then, all at once, the dark eyes filled. They turned away, and Claire's throat moved once as she swallowed. Then, slowly, she nodded.
"Okay," she whispered. "I mean-it's okay for now. I mean, I guess I can talk to you later about it."