It had been such a long day, and she was so tired, and so hurt, and she'd failed in her mission, and now Morgead was in love with her, but there was just no hope. Small wonder she was punchy and an emotional wreck. She was lucky not to be railing off her bike.
There really was no hope. Even in that last encounter, even when Morgead had been revealing his soul to her, Jez had managed to keep her own secrets buried. He didn't know. He had no idea that the girl he was in love with was vermin. Was working with Circle Daybreak. Was lying to him to steal the Wild Power out from under his nose and end the hopes of the vampires for a world without humans.
He was ambitious, she had always known that. All he'd ever cared about was climbing higher and getting more power. She'd promised him a position in the new world order-while all the time she was working as hard as she could to make sure that the new world order never came.
He would never forgive that deception. He would never even be able to understand why she had done it.
So you have to forget about him, the cold-and-practical part of her mind said quietly. And there was nothing inside Jez that even tried to argue.
It was dark by the time they reached the Marina district. As they approached the housing project, Jez saw flashing lights ahead.
Police car lights. Well, that wasn't unexpected. Iona's mother would have notified them by now. Jez just hoped she wasn't too worried....
Idiot! her mind said sarcastically. How worried do you expect her to be, with it getting dark and her eight-year-old missing?
She turned into an alley and Morgead followed her.
"Well have to do a drive-by," she said over the thrum of the engines. "Drop her by the police cars and then shoot out of there. They'll probably chase us. Are you up for it?"
He nodded. "We should go separate ways. That'll make it harder for them to catch us."
"Right. You go on home once you lose them. So will I."
She couldn't see his features clearly in the dark alley, but she knew he was looking at her. "So will you?
Go home?"
"I mean I'll go to the place where I'm staying."
She expected him to ask about that, try to find out where it was, what she was doing. He didn't Instead he said, "Do you have to?"
She bunked at him, startled. Then she frowned. "Yes, I have to. I want to. I'm tired, Morgead, and anyway I'm not ready to be spending the night with a guy."
"I didn't mean that-"
Jez waved a hand. "I know. I'm sorry. But I'm still tired, and-" And I've got other responsibilities that you don't understand. And if I stick around you any longer, while I'm this tired, I'm afraid that you're going to find out what they are.
"And you're still mad," he said bleakly.
Tm not mad-"
"Or disgusted or whatever."
What was he talking about? Tm just tired," she said firmly. "Now let's drop the kid off, and I'll see you tomorrow."
"I-" He let out his breath violently. "All right."
Jez didn't waste any more time. She unzipped her jacket, which had been holding Iona firmly against her.
Then she sped out into the street.
One block, two blocks. And now she was right beside the dark and deserted playground, and now she was almost level with the police cars. There were several officers standing around talking, and several other bystanders who might be neighbors.
Jez targeted one of the neighbors.
She swooped in toward the woman, who was on the outside edge of the sidewalk. She came up fast, then hit the brakes.
"Hey," she said. "Here."
The woman turned around and her jaw dropped. Jez didn't hesitate, just bundled Iona into her arms.
The woman grabbed the child's weight automatically.
"Give her to her mom, okay?"
And then Jez was roaring out and away. She could hear Morgead behind her, and shouts from the housing project. Then a police siren.
She glanced back. Morgead was just turning on a side street. He waved once at her, and then he was speeding off.
Jez could hear more sirens now. She twisted the throttle and headed for the Bay Bridge.
At least a pursuit was something she could enjoy.
When she finally shook the police cars tailing her, she turned toward Clayton. She would have been worried about what her aunt and uncle were going to say if she hadn't already been too worried about Iona.
She'll be all right, she told herself. She shouldn't remember anything, and her mom will take care of her.
But Jez couldn't help but feel guilty... and just plain sad. There was some sort of bond between her and the child. She felt-responsible for her, and not just because she'd kidnapped and terrorized her.
Nobody should have to grow up in that kind of place. I may have run around on the streets when I was little, but at least I had Uncle Bracken, and a nice home to go to if I wanted. Iona-she doesn't even have a safe playground.
I should do something for her, but what can I do that would matter?
I don't know; maybe I can visit her sometime. Maybe I can buy her a plant....
There weren't any easy answers, and she was drawing up to a neat yellow frame house.
Home.
Time, Jez thought, to face the music. Uncle Jim and Aunt Nan and nasty little Claire. She just hoped they left enough of her alive so that she could call Hugh afterward.
She pulled her motorcycle into the garage, climbed off, and went inside.
"... at all is bad enough, But to do it the day after you make us a promise-well, what are we supposed to think? How are we supposed to trust you again?"
Jez was sitting on the blue floral couch in the living room. The Goddard living room didn't get used much, only for very formal occasions.