I'm not confident, but bold words spill from my lips. "Which makes it better, doesn't it?"
"No," he replies softly. "The anonymity mattered to me."
"I can't change that."
"But you changed the ground rules." I feel him lean against the wall next to me, like it pains him to admit it. "Now what? I don't want to send you back."
My palm finds his cheek. I turn his face toward me and feel his breath on my face. Softly, I say, "Then don't."
Sean takes a deep breath and suddenly the lights come back on. The elevator is moving again. When we reach the ground floor, I don't look at him. Sean says nothing. He takes my hand as we leave the elevator.
A person dressed in a hotel uniform approaches us. Sean swiftly walks past him without a word. I'm being led through the foyer and hotel staff and patrons are everywhere. Sean pushes through the front doors before the doorman can open them.
"Mr. Ferro, should I call for your car?"
Sean says, "No, thank you. Just taking my friend for a walk."
My heart beats harder. It's cold outside and I'm not dressed for it. I'm not supposed to leave the hotel. The little black bomb on my ankle will tell the ninjas to attack. After we pass the entrance, I dig in my heels and we stop. Sean looks at me with a strange expression on his face. I explain, "I can't leave the hotel grounds. She'll know."
Sean shakes his head and runs his fingers through his hair, grabbing at it. "This isn't turning out how I planned."
Although he seems to be talking to himself, I answer. "Nothing ever turns out the way I plan. It makes me wonder why I bother." Sean looks over at me. I grin sheepishly. "You caught me. It's not my life's ambition to be here tonight. I had other things planned, all of which got shot to hell. In a manner of speaking, you're my last chance...my last plan."
Sean seems surprised. His mood lightens a little. "Rule breaker," he teases. A light smile crosses his lips.
"Yup, rebel to the core." I answer. I sigh and suck in the cold night air and look around. People move up and down the street around us, all hurrying somewhere. I shiver and run my hands over my arms. "So, I can't pretend to understand your, uh, preferences, but if you want to swap me out - "
"No." Sean's eyes lock with mine. "You stay. I just have to figure things out."
"Why are we on the street?" I can't help it. I have to ask. I wrap my arms around my middle and try to keep warm. The wind blows gently, lifting the curls off my shoulders.
Sean looks at me. The expression says he can't tell me, and that something's tearing him up inside. His spine straightens and everything changes. "Listen, we need a new arrangement."
"Agreed."
"But I need somethings that came with the previous agreement. That's nonnegotiable."
"Fine," I say, shivering. "Let's go inside and discuss it like normal people."
"Since when are you normal? You run around with cans of ether in your pockets." He forgets himself and smiles. That hard mask he was wearing, cracks. My God, he looks beautiful.
The corners of my mouth lift. I step towards him. "Mind telling me why you were always at that corner?" I place a hand on his chest and smile up at him.
Sean shakes his head. "My secret." He's silent for a moment and adds, "You'll be safe with me, Avery, ah I mean, Miss Stanz."
Something flutters inside my heart when he says my name.
Chapter 15
Sean takes me to his room. It's the penthouse, located high above the city. The entire floor is ours. I've never seen such a place in person. Space is a commodity in the city and the vast size of the room is flaunting wealth.
"Do all guys get this room?" I ask, looking around. I feel Sean's eyes on me as I walk.
"I'd think not. It'd be a huge tip off. Plus the room cost more than the average services your company provides."
My face flames red. I try to hide it, but Sean sees my blush. He walks toward me and takes my hands from my face.
I say, "I've not done this before."
"I know," he says, his voice deepening as he speaks. Sean keeps a hold on my hands and turns me from the window to meet his gaze. A light dusting of stubble lines his jaw. That dark hair that I want to touch so badly falls into his eyes. He tilts his head to the side and it falls back. "Tell me something. How is it that you're a virgin? I wouldn't have thought that could be possible."
My gaze darts away from his, but he tilts my chin so that I can't look away from him. My heart is pounding rapidly and I feel vulnerable. I want to jerk my face away. I want to run, but I don't.
His voice is a whisper, "Tell me."
"I never found the right guy," I breathe.
Sean's eyes devour me, raking over my face like he can't get enough. Finally, he nods slowly. His hands drop from my body and I feel nervous again. I'm nervous when he touches me and more anxious when he's not.
Sean sees the slight tremor of my hand. He says over his shoulder, "I won't have sex with you, not unless you want it."
What? I nearly fall over. Did he really say that? "I'm sorry?"
Sean sits at a desk and turns the chair toward me. I stand in front of him staring with my lips parted. "It's the way I do things. I have no intention of forcing you. Actually, the whole thing is left up to you, really."
I swallow hard and stare at him like he has two heads. "But, I thought..."
"I know what you thought, but that doesn't matter now. We need a new arrangement, since the old one won't work anymore."
"Why won't it work?" I don't understand what he's thinking.