And he'd gotten the hell out of there before she could.
Lily wasn't the only one worried about Luke.
Because even though he'd walked out on her, Janica was too.
And no matter how tempting it was to try and pretend nothing with Luke had ever happened, she knew she couldn't pull it off.
Not when taking risks was what Janica did.
Not when, despite knowing better, despite the fact that her heart was only going to keep breaking apart, the truth was as simple as it came.
She really was in love with him.
Head over fucking heels.
“Violet. Sam. Let's go get cupcakes.” The kids ran back into the room. “I'll bring them back when they're full to the brim with cake and frosting,” she told her sister.
And then, she was going to go find Luke.
To find out what the hell was going on.
Chapter Ten
Now she knew something was really wrong. Luke didn't take vacations. He worked.
Janica was a bit of a workaholic herself, so she got late nights and working through the weekend. But she also knew how to have fun. How to completely let go and forget everything except a good time.
The drive out to Big Sur was stunningly beautiful. She tried to picture Luke sitting in an oceanfront cabin, doing nothing but looking out at the waves.
He must be going crazy.
It hadn't been hard to find out where he was. She'd simply gone to the hospital and told a couple of doctors that she needed to talk to Luke Carson immediately. At first they had been cagey with her, until she told them that she was his sister-in-law. Perhaps it hadn't been right for her to make them assume it was a family emergency, but in a way, wasn't it? After all, she and Luke were family.
And in her worst moments since he'd left in the middle of the night, everything had kind of felt like an emergency.
Following the directions she'd been given, she turned off Highway 1 onto a narrow gravel driveway. It wound up the mountain, then over the peak and down the other side. Blue water sparkled at her through the thick cypress trees.
She could easily imagine sitting out on one of the bluffs with her sketchpad. Already, she could see a new line of printed fabrics in greens and blues. But she wasn't here to work on new designs.
She was here for Luke.
And, if she was being completely honest, for herself too. Because if there was any chance that things could actually go somewhere between the two of them-
No. She couldn't go there. She shouldn't go there. Not when she knew better.
Didn't she?
Inner turmoil roiled inside her as she pulled in behind Luke's car in the tiny gravel parking lot. Stepping out of the car, she forced herself to take a moment to breathe in the sweet-smelling ocean air.
No one had ever called Janica stupid, and they weren't about to now. She knew exactly what she was walking into.
Luke was going to hate that she was here. He was going to hate that she knew something had gone wrong for him at the hospital. And odds were pretty damn high that he was going to take it out on her.
The question was, how?
Standing alone in the trees, looking out on the water, she smiled. Despite her nerves, the adventurous part of her was looking forward to seeing what he would do—and if they would end up together in bed again.
Walking around the side of the cabin, she saw stairs that led to a front porch. Never one to back down from a challenge, she squared her shoulders, lifted her chin, and headed up. The deck chairs and dining table were all empty, but the door was wide open. Almost as if Luke couldn't be bothered even to shut it.
Her heart racing with anticipation simply at the thought of seeing him again, she made her way across the deck to the doorway. He was sitting in the only chair that faced away from the ocean. And it looked like he had a half-empty bottle of tequila in his hands.
“Nice place they keep up here for you doctors. If I'd known that these were the perks, I might have become a doctor too.”
“What the hell are you doing here?”
He asked the question without even turning to look at her. A guaranteed way to piss her off. And yet, he didn't seem particularly surprised by her presence. Almost as if he'd known she was going to come down here to find him.
She said the easiest thing first—“Lily is worried about you.”—then hated herself for it.
She never took the easy way out. She wasn't going to start now.
“I'm worried about you.”
Still not turning to face her, he said, “You need to go.”
Good one. He had to know she wasn't going anywhere.
Scanning the room for the seat with the best ocean view, she moved to it and sat down, kicking her legs up onto the coffee table. “I've been needing a vacation. I think I'll take it here.”
Now he had no choice but to look at her. “I don't have time for your games, Janica.”
“Actually, from what I hear, you've got nothing but time. Four weeks of time.”
In a flash, he was up on his feet and coming after her. He grabbed her shoulders and wrenched her up from her seat.
“You're leaving. Right now.”
But she wasn't afraid of him. Even if, judging by his furious expression and the extremely hard grip he had on her, she should be.
“Not until you tell me what's going on. Not until you tell me why you showed up at my place last night.”
His answer came fast, furious. “I wanted to fuck you.”
She flinched and saw a flash of regret in his eyes. But it was gone as fast as it had come.
What had happened to him? To the Luke she knew?
And why couldn't she just let him go back to living his life alone, completely separate from her?
But she already knew the answer to that.
Love.
“And now I want you to leave me the hell alone.”
There was such hardness to his words, a lifelessness beneath them that broke her heart. Not because he was hurting her with his callousness after the night they'd spent together – even though she had to admit there was a little hurt bubbling up inside of her – but because it was clear just how much he was hurting.
Last night she'd looked into his eyes, had run her fingers across the harsh lines of his face, and knew how much he needed her. But today, things were even worse.
What had happened?
Janica knew she'd never been good with this emotion stuff. All her life, she'd been physical, active.
How could she reach him?
All she knew was that she couldn't go. She couldn't leave him alone. Not like this.
Making a show of scanning the cabin, she said, “It looks to me like you've got plenty of space here. Besides, you wouldn't turn out family, would you?”
“Don't go there, Janica,” he warned her in a low, rough voice.