I’m ripping the shoe box open in excitement as my mobile rings.
‘I’ll get it, love.’ Mum reaches over to the chair where my mobile’s lying. ‘It’s …’ She peers more closely at the screen and her mouth drops open. ‘Sage Seymour? Sage Seymour the actress?’
‘Yes!’ I giggle. ‘Ssh! Be cool!’
I expect Sage will be giving me another update on Luke. Last time she phoned, he was eating a burrito and talking to the choreographer, apparently.
‘Hi Sage! How’s it going?’
‘He’s gone!’ She sounds desperate. ‘I’m so sorry. We’ve lost him.’
‘What?’ I sit back on my heels, a piece of tissue paper trailing from my fingers. ‘But … how?’
‘He just upped and left. Booked himself a car and went. Didn’t even pick up his mobile from the floor manager. I was in make-up, I had no idea …’
‘How long ago?’
‘Half an hour, maybe?’
Half an hour? My pulse is quickening in alarm. ‘So, where’s the car gone? Can you find out?’
‘No! It’s not even one of ours. Apparently he’d been saying he needed to go and the line producer had been promising to get him a car as soon as one was ready, you know, stringing him along … But I guess he couldn’t wait.’
That is so typical of Luke. He can’t just sit still and enjoy being on a movie set like any normal person. He has to organize himself a car and go back to work. Celebrities are wasted on him.
‘I need to get back,’ Sage is saying. ‘But Becky, I’m sorry. We fucked up.’ She sounds genuinely apologetic.
‘No! Don’t be silly! You did an amazing job. It’s not your fault he left. I’m sure I’ll find him.’
‘Well, let me know how it works out, yeah?’
‘Of course.’ I turn off my phone, breathing hard, and look at Mum. ‘You won’t believe this. Luke’s gone missing. No one knows where he is.’
‘Well, ring him, love! He’ll have his mobile—’
‘He hasn’t got a mobile!’ I almost wail. ‘I broke his BlackBerry and he had some crappy substitute which he’s left behind. I don’t know what car company he’s using. I mean, I guess he’s heading back to the office, but I don’t know …’
I feel a drumbeat of panic as the full enormity of this sinks in. What if he’s not on his way to the office? What if he’s coming here? He could stumble on the whole thing before we’re ready.
‘OK.’ I snap into action. ‘We need to warn everybody. I’ll call Bonnie, you tell Janice, we’ll call all the car companies … we’ll track him down.’
Within ten minutes, I’ve got everyone gathered in Janice’s kitchen for an emergency crisis meeting.
It’s all even worse than I thought. Bonnie has just forwarded me an email from Luke, which he sent before he left the studio, using the film’s email account. He told her he wouldn’t be able to get back to the office in time for the company training programme, sent his apologies and told her to have a good weekend.
What the fuck is he doing? Where is he going?
OK, Becky. Stay calm. He’ll turn up.
‘Right,’ I announce to the assembled group. ‘Oxshott, we have a major problem. Luke has gone AWOL. Now, I’ve drawn a map.’ I point to my hastily constructed flip chart. ‘These are the directions he might have gone in from Pinewood Studios. I think we probably can rule out north …’
‘Ooh!’ Suze suddenly exclaims, looking at her phone. ‘Tarkie says one of the Royal Family has seen the YouTube clips and wants to send Luke a happy birthday text. They’re out shooting together,’ she explains bashfully as everyone looks at her, agog.
‘Which member?’ Janice clasps her hands. ‘Not Prince William!’
‘Tarkie didn’t say. It might be Prince Michael of Kent,’ Suze adds apologetically.
‘Oh.’ Everyone subsides a little in disappointment.
‘Or David Linley?’ Janice perks up. ‘I do love his furniture, but have you seen the prices?’
‘Stop it!’ I wave my arms frustratedly. ‘Focus! Who cares about furniture? This is an emergency. First, we need a lookout stationed outside, so if Luke comes back here we can head him off. Second, we need to think hard where he might have gone. Third—’
‘Your phone,’ says Mum suddenly. My BlackBerry is vibrating on the table, with a central London number I don’t recognize.
‘It might be him!’ says Dad.
‘Ssh!’
‘Quiet!’
‘Put him on speaker!’
‘No!’
‘Everyone quiet!’
It’s as though the terrorist kidnapper is on the line after days of waiting. Everyone goes quiet and watches as I answer.
‘Hello?’
‘Becky?’ Luke’s voice is unmistakable. And relaxed. Doesn’t he realize how stressed we’ve all been?
‘Keep him talking!’ hisses Mum as though she’s a federal agent trying to triangulate his position.
‘Hi, Luke! Where are you? At the office?’
That was good. Play completely ignorant.
‘As it happens, no. I’m at the Berkeley Hotel.’ There’s a smile in his voice. ‘And I want to invite you and Minnie to join me for a little birthday celebration. If you’re up for it.’
What-what-what-what-what?
I sink down on to a chair, my legs rubbery, trying to block out all the questioning faces around me.