I hold my chin high, refusing to let the fact that she saw my dirty little secret make me feel like damaged goods. If Jase is over it, then so am I.
“Drop it, Stac,” Jase warns, his voice tight and not amused.
Stacia grins devilishly, looking back and forth between Jase and I. “You didn’t tell her, did you?”
Shit. My stomach drops. “Tell me what?”
Stacia laughs again. “Never mind.” She smiles sweetly, wedging herself in between Jase and me as she passes so she can brush up against his chest.
Jase looks like he’s about to hit something.
“Jase?”
He takes my hand and pulls me toward the stairs. All the heat and passion for our night together disappears and is replaced by a terrible nagging feeling. What isn’t he telling me? What happened between him and Stacia?
Jase
I know I should’ve come clean before now. It’s part of the reason why I didn’t let our physical relationship go too far yet. Knowing that I still hadn’t told her about my night with Stacia while we weren’t talking held me back. I know Avery won’t like it, and since we’ve agreed to complete honesty, I also know it makes me a jackass.
Once we reach my room, I shut the door behind us and turn to face her. Her hands are balled into fists, like she’s bracing herself.
“Sit down, babe.”
She looks unsure, but slips off her shoes and crosses the room to sit on the edge of my bed. I pull a deep breath into my lungs, trying to find the words to explain this mess in a way that doesn’t cause her to flip out. I sit down beside her and take her hand. It’s limp. Shit. This isn’t going to go well. “When you and I…weren’t talking…Stacia started coming around again.”
Her eyes betray her emotions, and begin to fill with tears even before I get to the heart of the story.
“We got pretty drunk one night…and um…” Shit. I can’t say it.
“Tell me,” she whispers, her voice broken.
“We didn’t have sex, but…” I pause, drawing another breath. “She sort of started to go down on me….”
Her eyes fly to mine. I remember the time that I admitted to Avery that was my favorite, and I know she’s remembering that too. I also know she’s fully aware that it’s something she and I haven’t even done together. I feel like a complete prick. I never want to see this look in her eyes again.
She swallows roughly. “I see.”
“Whistle, I’m sorry, but we weren’t talking…”
She rips her hand from mine and stands suddenly. “We weren’t talking because you didn’t want me, because you thought I was cheap and easy because of those stupid pictures. But you know what? You’re no better than I am!” She grabs her purse and slips her feet back into her shoes. “I need to go home.”
“Avery…wait…”
“Don’t touch me!” A sob breaks from her throat and she pulls out of my grasp.
“At least let me drive you home. I’ll be worried about you.”
She shakes her head. “No. I’ll call someone.” She fishes her phone out and dials. “Madison,” she sobs. “Come get me. I’m at Jase’s…Yeah.”
Avery ends the call and leaves, jogging down the stairs.
Shit f**k.
I won’t f**k this up again. I won’t wait another few weeks without talking to her, like after our last fight. I need to make this right tonight. I race downstairs after her, but she’s nowhere to be found in the sea of bodies. Heading out into the cool night air, I search the back deck, where I know she’s hidden before. But it’s occupied by a couple groping each other. Avery’s gone.
I fish my keys from my pocket and cross around the side of my house, heading straight for my car. I can’t leave things like this between us. Won’t. We’ve wasted too much time already. My car is blocked in by three cars in our driveway, and I know trying to find the vehicle’s owners will be pointless. I can’t wait.
I race across campus to her dorm, arriving breathless from the three mile jog. I have to wait for someone to let me in, but get lucky and slip in behind a group of guys returning for the night. A few minutes later, I’m knocking on her door, praying she’s going to answer.
Madison pulls the door open just a crack, her face a frown. “Yes?”
“Is Avery here?”
“She doesn’t want to see you.” She pushes the door closed, but my foot wedged in the doorframe keeps it from closing.
“I need to talk to her, please. Avery,” I call out.
Madison rolls her eyes, giving in, and lets me enter the room. “Just talk to him. I can’t handle you two,” she informs Avery.
My Whistle is curled up in her narrow bed, hugging a pillow to her chest. And she’s been crying. Pain stabs at my chest. Fuck.
Madison grabs her purse. “I’m going to Noah’s.” The door clicks behind her.
Making no move to get any closer, I just watch her. Her eyes are guarded and her hands clutch the pillow tighter.
“Avery?” I swallow the lump in my throat, praying she’ll listen to what I have to say. “Can we talk?”
“What is there to say?” She shifts on the bed so she’s sitting, but she keeps the pillow hugged to her chest, a physical barrier between us. “It’s your favorite, right? And I wasn’t giving it to you, so…” She doesn’t finish, but her eyes drop to the bed in front of her.
“Avery.” I make my move, getting as close as I dare. I kneel down at the edge of the bed, so we’re eye-level. “I am sooo sorry. That was a huge mistake. I was just feeling hurt and betrayed that you hadn’t told me, and as bad as it sounds, I didn’t care about anything else in that moment because I thought I had lost you. So when Stacia started undoing my belt…”