“Evan…” she murmured, feeling that damned fullness rise in her throat again. Would she never purge it all?
He gently wrung out her hair and looked down into her face. Even through her mental turmoil a little part of her marveled at the beauty of his striated green eyes. “What is it, sweetheart?”
“It breaks my heart what they did to you, no matter how you feel about it. If Todd had to hurt me, fine, but I can’t forgive him for what he did to you.”
“I’m resilient, Kelsey. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“I know. But I didn’t see you for a long time after it happened. I was worried about you, but I didn’t think you wanted to hear from me.”
“It wasn’t you. That week was crazier in more ways than one. I lost what was supposed to be a slam-dunk aggravated robbery case.”
Oh, God. Had it been her fault? She shouldn’t have reacted the way she had, calling him like that, getting him upset in the middle of a trial. It just kept getting worse and worse. “Because of what happened. I’m so—”
“Shh. No. I’d already rested my case and the defense was thin, to say the least. It was just one of those things, I guess. And I had let it go, until the next month, when the defendant who got off allegedly broke into a woman’s house, robbed her and raped her.” His eyes darkened. “And it’s my fault, because for whatever reason, I didn’t do a good enough job to put him away. That crushed me more than anything Courtney could have done.”
Her heart cracked again, lost another piece. How selfish she’d been. “Did they catch the guy?”
“Yeah. Of course the bastard has pled not guilty. I wanted the case, but the DA advised me to step away. Said I’ve made it personal now.”
“Have you?”
“Of course I have. How could I not? But will that cloud my judgment or trip me up and get me flustered? Hell, no. I’m better than that. What I hate is the idea of someone arguing that case who doesn’t make it personal.” Consternation flickered across his features. “You know, you’re the first person who’s asked me that, instead of automatically jumping to my defense and telling me my superior is just being an ass. You’re the first to not try to tell me I shouldn’t feel the way I do about losing.”
“Because I can understand,” she said softly. “And it’s not your fault, but I know you, you’ve always had a soft heart for victims. I just wish I’d known what you were going through.”
“I wanted to call you more than I did, but I thought it might upset you to hear from me. I guess that was stupid of me. I also realized after what happened that I needed to work through some things on my own.”
“Things were…so screwed up,” she agreed. “That day I saw you in court at my divorce hearing…I just wanted to die.” She took a breath, knowing how awful that sounded. But she couldn’t sum up the misery of that horrible day any other way. He’d been the only bright spot and even he had burned.
“I’m sorry if my being there was a trigger for you,” he said, pulling her back to the present. “Just our bad luck I was the one handling pleas that day.”
“No, it’s all right. I was glad you were there, but…I can’t explain. Ashamed that you were seeing me there, like that.”
“Honey, don’t ever be ashamed with me. Haven’t we been through enough without that having to factor in? I’ve never once judged you for anything that happened.”
“I know that. But my pride was hanging somewhere around my ankles that day. I don’t think anyone could have rescued it.”
He smiled, and though it was just a sweet curving of his lips, it was akin to the sun breaking through thunderheads. He trailed his finger down her cheek. “I always thought this, but I see now more than ever that Todd was one crazy son of a bitch for letting you go. He traded fire for ice.”
He couldn’t know what those words meant to her. She sighed as she agonized over what she wanted to tell him next. Absently, she picked up his bottle of body wash and squeezed some into her hands, lathered it and began soaping his chest. “I thought about it a lot, and I finally came to the decision that they needed one another because they’re just alike. Careless and selfish. But…”
He waited patiently, and she was certain her touch helped him out with that, because he smiled and closed his eyes as she moved her hands over his shoulders and down both his biceps. She took just as much pleasure in the concentration of his masculine scent wafting into her nostrils.
“I have to be honest,” she went on hesitantly. “Now I know…I wouldn’t have married him if I’d known what I was missing out on.”
She continued soaping him, and he reached for her conditioner and finished washing her hair. “He was your first,” he said after a moment. It wasn’t a question.
“Yes.” She eyed him suspiciously. “He never told you that, did he?”
“No. I just always…knew, or at least suspected. You never dated anyone, or even showed any interest in anyone, until him.”
Because of you. She wondered briefly if he actually knew her better than anyone else on earth. If felt that way sometimes. Certainly no one else understood what she’d been through like he did. Not Lisa, not her family.
He moved closer, and she could only whimper as he sank into her for a warm, deep kiss that had her fearing electrocution there under the falling water. His tongue swirled with hers and her knees went rubbery. He backed her against the shower wall and she was astounded when she felt him growing hard against her abdomen. The man had stamina.
“I love how you tremble for me,” he whispered. “I love how you’re shy until you need me and then you aren’t ashamed to tell me what you want.”
I love everything about you. The thought dropped into her mind like a stone in a still pond and caused just as much disturbance. She certainly loved everything they’d done tonight. In the mornings, just the sight of him in his pajama pants checking his e-mail with his hair all mussed made her weak in the knees. She loved that he was left-handed. He chewed his thumbnail when he was engrossed in reading or watching something on TV, and she loved that, too.
He slid his hands upward to cup her br**sts, his eyes flickering down toward them. “You’re more beautiful than I ever imagined. And I imagined a lot.”
“Y-you did?”
“Oh, yeah. It might make me a dog, mentally undressing my friend’s wife, but I couldn’t help myself.” He sighed, and the sound made moisture that had nothing to do with the shower pool between her legs. She closed her eyes as he ran his fingertips over her n**ples, peaked already from the caress of the water. “Pink,” he murmured. “I always wondered, but I should have known. Soft and delicate, like the rest of you.”
One of his hands trailed down to caress her clit, swollen and peeking from between her folds. She moaned, leaning her head back against the wall. Involuntarily, she lifted her foot to brace it against the side of the tub, giving him better access. Her muscles tightened as one fingertip dragged across her aching nub, back and forth, so slowly, then circled it, only to repeat the pattern. She gripped his firm, straining biceps for support when her knees started to grow weak.
“But this,” he whispered against her ear, his voice almost blending with the whoosh of the falling water. “I had no idea you would be bare down here. God, I love it, it drives me crazy. I didn’t have a chance to finish what I started. I’m going to lick you and suck you until you fly apart. You’re going to open your eyes in the morning only to find yourself coming in my mouth.”
Before she could dissolve into a pool of desire at his feet, she had time for one final thought: she was going to treat Lisa to a full day at the spa for saying three little words: Shave it, girl.
Panting, sliding down the wall, going boneless, she still gripped him. Never had she thought she could actually collapse from sensory overload. Evan caught her up in his arms, cradling her as he stepped out of the shower with her, leaving it running. “You’re exhausted, sweetie.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Be still, I’ll take care of you.”
Kelsey was only vaguely conscious of the fact that he sat her on the bed and left her to get a towel. Well, she couldn’t be bothered with all that. She curled onto her side and pulled the comforter over her, flirting with the peacefulness of sleep. Until she was rudely pulled upward again to the sound of Evan’s laughter, and he was stripping away her warm cover, baring her damp flesh to the air-conditioned chill, ignoring whatever incoherent protests she managed to give. A towel swept around her and another began rubbing vigorously over her hair, before he piled her damp locks on top of her head and wrapped them up. Once she was dried to his satisfaction, he picked her up easily and settled her into her spot on the bed, pulling the covers over her.
“Dream of me, sweetheart,” was the last thing she heard him say before dark waves washed over her mind, finally submerging her completely.
Kelsey groaned, sleep still fogging her mind. She was aching. Between her legs. Everything felt thick and heavy and swollen and the taste of desire was flooding her mouth. Consciousness flowed in and out. Evan… She’d been dreaming about him. She still was. The pleasure he’d given her. Flashbacks had been tormenting her all night. Even now, she was thinking of her legs being spread apart, of him lowering his face to the secret place there. She was self-conscious about it—always had been—because God, it was so intimate.
Feverishly, she tossed her head. Her br**sts were flooded with sensation, her n**ples stiffening against…nothing but air. She was nak*d, not covered. Her legs were sprawled wide, and she’d never felt so open, so revealed, but damn, it was hot. Something firm and wet was flickering over the tender, throbbing nub between her thighs. She moaned, rocking her h*ps just a bit toward the pleasure of it, sliding one hand over a breast to tease her nipple while the other hand wandered down toward the epicenter of this sensation. So close, so close… Lips closed around her clit, and a delicious suction gripped it, so precise that starbursts exploded behind her closed eyes.
It was enough to bring Kelsey wide awake then, just in time to feel Evan slip his shoulders beneath her thighs and hold her folds open with his thumbs so he could draw her entire aching nub into the wet heat of his mouth. Sunlight flooded the room, revealing every bare inch of her to him.
There was no time for embarrassment as he suckled her again. She erupted. He thrust two fingers deep inside her p**sy to feel her contractions as she pulled tight all over and grasped his silky hair with both hands, needing an anchor against the sensations buffeting her as she screamed his name again and again.
“Mmm,” he murmured when she collapsed back on the bed, sated beyond all belief. But only until he crawled up the length of her body. “Good morning, angel.” He moved to nudge the head of his c*ck teasingly against her entrance. “And he says good morning, too.”