“You don’t have to ask me twice.” His fingers slid down my back and around to tease my nipple.
I moaned, leaning back into him, my hand finding him semi-hard in his boxer briefs. I squeezed playfully.
JC put a hand over mine, stopping my exploration. “Uh uh uh,” he scolded. “Not yet.”
I pretended to pout, or actually only half pretended since there was a part of my pout that was real and stinging from the rejection.
As always, JC read me and eased me.
“Soon,” he said, then licked along my earlobe. “I should warn you—you’re going to need more energy than you have to keep up with me tonight, Gwen.” His breath tickled where he’d left my skin wet. “So eat your dinner like a good girl, and then you’ll wait until I say before we start to get naughty.”
Now that was the man I’d fallen in love with. “Then let me go so I can.”
He laughed, removing his hands from me. We ate the rest of our meal in silence, exchanging flirty glances as we did. When we finished, he put our trays on the room service cart and rolled it into the other room. He came back and stood next to the bed, studying me intently.
I’d lost the sheets while I was eating and was naked except for my panties. In our time together, JC had taught me how to enjoy his gaze. I’d learned to love it. Tonight, it was harder. I had yet to see my face, but its constant ache made me feel unattractive and uninspiring.
I forced myself not to cower as he looked at me. Forced myself to sit proudly.
After several long seconds, he let out a heavy sigh. “Look, Gwen—”
“Ah fuck, is this when you’re going to do the pulling away bit?” It was pathetic to be so insecure, but unease lay just underneath the surface. I was wary and vulnerable.
“No.” He seemed offended at the suggestion. “I told you I’m not doing that. You have to trust me.” He moved closer and put a finger under my chin. “Do you trust me?”
Trust had never come easy to me. And, yes, I trusted JC with my body, with my pleasure—but with my heart? I wanted to. I just wasn’t sure.
He sat on the bed next to me. “Come here.” He pulled me into his arms. “My life is complicated right now, and believe me, it would be easier if you weren’t in it. But, like I said earlier, you’re in it. I’m not pushing you away.” He kissed the top of my head, and I nuzzled against his bare chest, listening to him. Letting myself believe him.
“Okay.” It wasn’t very confident, but it was a start.
“We’ll work on it together. I know you don’t have a reason to believe me, yet you’re still here. I’ll try to give you reasons.” He stroked his hand along my arm. “What I was going to say before is that there are some things that I can tell you—and I want to—but would it be okay if we wait just another day for that?”
Of course it was okay. Just, with the way he was holding me…I couldn’t see his eyes, and it made it easier for me to be direct. “Can I ask you one question before I answer?”
“Yes. Maybe. What’s your question?”
Secrets were human nature. I had mine. There were very few people that I told about my father. I lied about my scars. I lied about my home life. I respected JC’s secrets because I understood what it felt like to have to hide.
But I couldn’t help wondering what he was hiding and why. How could I not? It was human nature, too. So, while I said I wouldn’t pry—and I meant it—I had to know, “Will you ever be able to tell me everything?”
He wrapped me tighter in his embrace. “Yes. Definitely, yes. And the minute I can, I’ll tell you it all.”
I didn’t know if the thing preventing him from telling me his secrets was real or imagined, but ideas popped into my head. Federal agent? Undercover cop? Hiding from the law? Really, it didn’t matter. He’d tell me when he could. I believed that. I guess I did trust him after all.
I shifted so I could see his face. “Then take as many days as you need. As long as you love me—”
“I do.”
It was my turn to cup his cheek. “That’s all I ever really needed from anyone, JC. Was to be loved. I told you it was enough. I meant it.”
He stared down at me with what I could only call awe. “Has anyone ever told you how absolutely fucking incredible you are?”
“No,” I said, a little giddy, a little embarrassed. “No one ever has.”
“You are absolutely fucking incredible. I will do my best to say it more often.” He stood, pulling me up with him so that we were face-to-face. “And tomorrow we’ll say more. The basic stuff. The stuff I can say. I want to know you. I want you to know me too. Tonight, though, I just want to love you.”
“That sounds nice.”
He brushed a kiss against my lips, but when I pressed in for more, he tapped a chiding finger on my nose. “Still not time to be naughty. It’s bath time.”
I stuck out my lower lip. “And then it will be time to be naughty?”
“We’ll see.” But he couldn’t hide the bulge in his briefs, no matter how patient he pretended to be. So I interpreted his we’ll see as a definitive yes.
***
JC ran the bath scalding hot, exactly the way I like it, and added some luxury bubbles that the hotel provided. I got in first and he stepped in behind me. He gave me the royal treatment—washing my body then massaging my back until my muscles loosened. When he finished, I lay back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me, and we just soaked.
I was relaxed and turned on, the needy buzz between my legs growing with every minute that passed. JC was taking his time with me, though. And I knew the more I fought him, the longer he’d make me wait.
So I found something else to get my mind off my aching desire. I ran my fingers over the words inked on his skin. “I know we’re waiting until tomorrow for the sharing stuff, but how about one thing?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, we each ask each other one thing and the other has to answer.” I felt his body stiffen underneath me, and I amended. “If that’s totally not what you want to do, that’s fine. I’m just curious about you.”
He stroked his hand through my hair. “Hmm. That could work. But you ask first. And I reserve the right to decline to answer.”
“That’s not really—” I was going to say “fair” and then realized none of it was fair. He’d already said that. “Okay. Fine.” I had my question prepared already, had it prepared for weeks. “What does the date on your tattoo mean?”