A male and female voice shifted away from me and I thought I heard the words "call his mom". I ignored it as the warm hand in mine squeezed me tight and a head lightly rested on my shoulder. I relaxed back onto whatever I'd been placed on, and rested my head on top of the one on my shoulder. I laughed and it felt nice, so I did it again. The head beneath me sighed and shifted to look at me.
"Lucas...what's wrong with you?"
I shrugged, giggled and rested my forehead against hers. "Nothing...I feel great." My words still felt thick in my mouth and I laughed again and rocked my head against hers.
"What did you take?"
I laughed and tried to think back to some point when I didn't feel like this - light and airy and free. I shrugged again. "I don't know."
A sigh escaped my angel and she looked down. I brought my hand up to her cheek and made her eyes lift to mine, pulling back a little so I could look into them. "Don't be sad...I feel great." I smiled widely and stroked the soft, silky skin under my thumb.
Her eyes flicked over mine. "Sure, now. Call me tomorrow." She sighed again while I obliviously laughed. Then she bit her lip and my eyes laser beam focused on that soft skin. The lips parted and words escaped them. "I know...I know you're wasted right now...but, did you mean it?"
I nodded. "Yes...mean what?"
She sighed, the air brushing over my face smelling wonderfully of the gum she was still chewing. "When you said you loved me?"
I cocked my head and drew my eyes up to meet hers. "Of course I love you." I shrugged again, loving how wonderful those words sounded out loud. "I love you more than anything. You're my best friend."
She closed her eyes when I said that. "Right...best friend."
I smiled as my eyes focused back down to her soft, soft lips. "I love you, Sawyer." My head inched down to feel those lips again. I brushed against them and sighed, happy. They moved slightly, parting just a little, bringing new surfaces to feel, a new softness to explore and I sighed again, very happy. My hand ran along a slim neck and around behind her to string through her silky ponytail. So nice. I leaned into her more, wanting to feel more of her body, more of her skin, more of her lips. More...just...more. Our lips opened wider and I flicked a quick feel for her tongue, finding it warm and receptive. So very nice. I groaned and felt for her again.
The head turned sideways, breaking our contact. "No, Lucas...stop."
I moved my lips to her soft neck, hungering for her skin. "Why? It feels nice...so incredibly nice."
A soft moan escaped her, doing unexpected things to my body, but she pushed me back and held my head away from her. "Nice isn't enough." I cocked my head in her hands, confused, and she sighed. "Friends don't do this. We can't do this." Her eyes turned sad as she looked over my face. I hated it when she looked sad. "Especially when you're like this..."
I pulled back and looked over her expression, something starting to register with me. "I'm making you sad?" She bit her lip and nodded, and I suddenly wanted to cry again. I could even feel my eyes watering. "I only wanted you to feel nice, like me." I grabbed her face, suddenly scared. "I don't want to hurt you. I never want to hurt you. You mean everything to me."
She removed my hands from her face and nodded. "I know, Luc...and you mean everything to me." She ran a hand down my face. "More than you realize." I smiled, but didn't understand. She shook her head. "Let's just sit here and wait for your mom."
She curled up on my shoulder, a hand on my chest, and we waited...and waited...and waited. Somewhere in all the waiting and water drinking (from the never ending cup that Ms. Reynolds never let go dry for long), my head started clearing and I started remembering. I still felt light and airy, but I could think more with my head and less with...my body.
I closed my eyes and let my head hit the wall behind me. The tender spot from my skull whacking was also returning, and I sucked in a quick breath. Sawyer looked up at me from my shoulder. "Oh god, Sawyer...my mom's gonna kill me." My speech was still slow, like it took a second for my brain to think it and my mouth to create it.
I peered down at her and she grinned up at me. "Yeah, I think she is." She sat up from her slumped position against me and shrugged her shoulders. "If it's any consolation, my parents are gonna kill me too." I cocked my head, confused, and she explained. "I'm really late getting home."
I sighed and looked down. Suddenly, I remembered all the things I'd done and said...to her. I looked back up at her, a little scared. "Hey...I'm...I'm really sorry about..."
She blushed and didn't let me finish. "Don't...don't worry about it. You're just...messed up. Happens to the best of us." I blushed and looked away, but looked back when I felt her eyes burning into me. "Do you know what...what you took?"
My still sluggish brain tried to remember what happened to it. All I could remember was having a headache and then not having a headache. I scrunched my brows, trying to think harder. "No, I just remember you handing me..." I looked over at her, a horrid knot forming in my stomach. "What did you give me, Sawyer?"
Her face looked puzzled as she looked back at me. "Aspirin. I told you that. I always carry some for headaches and stuff."
The knot in my stomach grew and my hazy mind tried to think rationally, and not emotionally. "No...that wasn't just Aspirin. Aspirin doesn't do that to me. What was it?"
Now her brows scrunched in what looked like anger. "It was just Aspirin." She put her hand on my arm while I brought my hand to the bridge of my nose. My head was still so foggy...things just weren't making sense. "Look, Luc, I know you're still messed up, so I'll try to not get angry here...but I don't do drugs any more than you do, and I definitely didn't 'slip' you anything. Why would I?"
I dropped my hand from my face and sighing, looked back at her. "I don't know." I shrugged. "What's going on with me, Sawyer? I feel like I'm about to start flying." I frowned. "Or falling...really, it could go either way."
She patted my arm and shook her head. "I don't know, Luc. I wish I did." I wanted to ask her more. I wanted to talk to her more. I wanted to apologize for shoving my tongue down her throat, but at that moment...my mom showed up.
Looking frazzled and panicked and wearing her hardware uniform, she flew into the nurses' station and immediately brought her eyes to mine. I found I couldn't meet her identical-to-mine hazel depths and stared at the floor. I felt Sawyer clench my hand and my whole body tensed, waiting for the parental blowup that I could feel coming.
I felt a body move in front of me and a pair of petite, black shoes filled my vision. I held my breath. Then my mother squatted in front of me, placing her small hands on my knees and moving her head so she was looking up at me. I tentatively met her gaze, praying that my still floating brain didn't say anything stupid.
Her concerned eyes flicked between mine. "Lucas...are you okay?" I waited to hear the anger in her voice, but all I heard was concern. I exhaled and relaxed. Stupidly I nodded, my vision twisting for a bit as I did.
My mother's entire face relaxed and with a heavy sigh she flung her arms around me and clenched me tight. "God, you scared me. When they called, I thought...I thought... You scared me, Luc."
From somewhere in my body, guilt welled up, filling all of me, until it physically manifested as tears in my eyes that ran down my cheeks. I'd hurt this small, warm woman...deeply. "I'm sorry, Mom," I said brokenly, my voice struggling with the words. I felt like sobbing...and then I did.
She rocked me and shushed me as her hands rubbed my back. I felt Sawyer squeeze my hand and then release it and I slung my arms around my mom, pulling her in tight as I sobbed on her shoulder. I couldn't understand why I was losing it...and I couldn't stop it either. "It's okay, Lucas...breathe...it's okay."
She kept repeating that, until eventually I stopped with the blubbering. My mom pulled back from me and wiped my face with her thumbs. I sniffled and looked over her sad features. I'd done that. I'd made her sad. I only ever made her sad. She looked to Sawyer sitting beside me and smiled slightly at her.
"Mrs. West?"
My mom turned to look at Ms. Reynolds standing behind her. "Can I take him home?" she asked quietly.
Ms. Reynolds nodded at her, flicking a quick glance at me before motioning with her thumb to an adjoining office. "Yes, I just need to speak with you privately for a moment." Her expression grew tired and perhaps a bit sad and she continued slowly. "I'm sorry, but we have strict policies on substance abuse. There's going to be repercussions from this."
My mom swallowed and looked down. She sighed heavily and nodded before standing and following Ms. Reynolds into a small room, where Ms. Reynolds closed the door behind them. I watched them through the glass and wondered what my fate would be. Tiredness seeped into me and I had the strongest urge to lie down on Sawyer's lap and take a nap. Her warm hand returned to mine and I looked over at her, blinking my eyes slowly.
She looked over my face and wiped a stray tear away with her other hand. "Are you okay, Lucas?"
I smiled with one corner of my mouth. "You ask me that a lot."
She smiled in a way that matched mine and laid her head on my shoulder. I laid my head on hers again and closed my eyes, my light and airy feeling changing to heaviness. "That's because I never believe your answer."
"Oh," I muttered sleepily.
I felt her head shift beneath me and lifted mine up, resting it gently against the wall behind me, my eyes still closed. "What do you think they'll do to you?" she asked, and I pried my eyes open to look at my mom talking to Ms. Reynolds, who was lightly shaking her head, looking apologetic.
"Kick me out?" I said quietly.
"No, they wouldn't...would they?"
I slowly swung my head around at hearing the genuine concern in her voice. I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm on campus...fucked up." I shrugged again. "They're gonna toss me." I looked back to the windows where Ms. Reynolds was saying something to my mom, who was now holding a hand over her eyes. "They hate me anyway," I muttered.
Sawyer squeezed my hand, but I didn't look back at her. Guilt filled me again as I watched my mom hopelessly try and fight for me. "They don't, Lucas," Sawyer quietly said beside me.
I finally did look back at her. "What?" My tongue felt solid in my mouth and my eyes wanted to close again.
She sighed and shook her head, her dark hair swishing over my jacket. "They don't hate you...not all of them anyway. Some are just confused. You don't remember the accident...and there are so many rumors about it." She shrugged. "They just don't know what to believe."
Anger shot through me, and I turned my head straight and didn't look at her. "I wasn't drinking...they could believe that."
She sighed and rested her head on my shoulder again. "I know, Luc...I know."
We stayed that way until my mom and Ms. Reynolds returned from the small room; both women looking sad and worn out. Ms. Reynolds clasped her hands in front of her and clearing her throat, spoke to me in her most professional voice. "Lucas, we don't know what you took, but it's obvious you took something. I've spoken with the principal and you are hereby suspended from school for two weeks. You won't be allowed on or near the campus until your suspension is over, but if Sawyer wishes, she may gather your schoolwork so you don't fall behind. We have no desire to have your good grades suffer, and even though you will now have this on your permanent record...I believe you're a good enough student to not have that affect you too much when you apply for colleges later this year." She smiled warmly, like everything was just fine. My mom sighed softly beside her.