"Until someone wagged a big paycheck in front of him, no doubt." Lucan raked his hand over his scalp, hissed another curse. "Is that what happened? Ackmeyer sold his tech to someone who thought it might be put to better use as a weapon against the Breed?"
"That's what I wanted to know," Kellan replied. "I meant to get answers, and if Ackmeyer didn't prove cooperative, I was prepared to persuade him to destroy the technology - by whatever means necessary. Problem was, Ackmeyer didn't know anything about his work being leaked outside his private lab. When I questioned him while he was in my custody, he said his project - something he was calling Morningstar - was still in testing stages, under lock and key. He swore up and down that he'd never allow his work to be used to harm anyone. I read the truth in him, Lucan. He was innocent. By the time I figured that out, the wheels were already in motion."
Lucan grunted. "You shouldn't have acted alone. You should've come to the Order with this."
"Come to you as Bowman?" Kellan asked, his expression grimly wry. "Or as the coward who'd turned his back on his brethren and his kin?"
Lucan knew he was right. His situation had been untenable either way. It still was. "Unfortunately, it may be too late to turn any of this back now."
Kellan nodded. "There are a lot of things I wish I'd done differently, starting with how I left eight years ago." He glanced down, exhaled a short breath as he shook his head. "Jeremy Ackmeyer is dead because of me, Lucan. Because ultimately I gave the command to abduct him. I accept that blame. But I'm telling you here and now, I didn't give the order to torch his lab or to harm him in any way."
"You're going to have a hard time convincing the public of that."
"I don't give a shit about the public and what they believe," Kellan said, a flicker of amber lighting in his eyes. "I need to know that you believe me. That I haven't lost your trust."
Lucan listened to the younger vampire - the once-sheltered, sullen Darkhaven youth who had become a formidable, stalwart warrior under Lucan's tutelage, only to vanish without a trace before he'd reached his prime.
That warrior was still alive inside Kellan Archer. He was still prepared for the good fight, still held his honor intact, even though he'd lost his way for a while. What a waste it would be to see him slip away once more.
Lucan swore, low under his breath. "Of everything that's gone wrong here lately - and Jesus Christ, there's enough to choose from - I'm not sure what bothers me the most. The fact that you and Mira are blood-bonded under the worst circumstances, or that I have to be the one who tears you apart."
Chapter Twenty-Three
MIRA SAT ON THE EDGE OF A SOFT BED IN A ROOM THAT smelled of roses and lemon wax, surrounded by the love and support of the women of the Order.
She was home. Reunited with her parents, family, teammates, and friends - all the people who mattered in her life. And yet she'd never felt so adrift. So alone.
Because the one she needed most was the one farthest out of her reach now.
By his own choice.
Kellan had promised he wouldn't abandon her ever again, but he had. They might have stayed in the old Darkhaven in the Maine woods for weeks longer - a precious handful of months, if they were lucky. Instead, he'd willingly put an end to their time together.
She would have stayed with him as long as possible.
Instead, he'd let her go.
The warrior in her refused to accept this defeat. Blinded or not, she wanted to leap up and fight her way to wherever Kellan was being held. She wanted to demand he stand with her and take on his problems together. Take on the whole bloody world together, if they had to.
But it wasn't the Order or mankind or the world that stood between them.
It was fate.
Destiny had made a claim on Kellan's life eight years ago. Now it was coming to collect. And in her heart, she knew no amount of fighting, no amount of running, could ever be enough to win out over an enemy as powerful as that.
But that didn't make the prospect of what lay ahead any easier to accept.
Although she could see none of the Breedmates gathered in the room with her now, only shadows on shadows against a field of darkness, Mira heard their voices close to her. Heard more than one of the women quietly sniffling back tears after she had explained everything that happened during her all-too-brief reunion with Kellan.
"I'm glad it's gone," she murmured into the quiet room. "My sight. If losing my sight is the only way to mute my visions, then it will have been worth it."
"Don't say that, Mouse. You don't mean it." Renata sat beside her on the bed, holding Mira's hand in a comforting, protective grasp. The Breedmate who had rescued orphaned Mira when she was a little girl, taking her under her wing as her own child, was as skilled a warrior as any - the first female to fight alongside the Order as one of their own. Tough and deadly, impossible to break, Renata had hardly said a word in the time since Mira's arrival with Kellan and the others.
She was afraid. Mira felt it in the pregnant Breedmate's silence and the soft trembling of her fingers as she held Mira's hand.
Where Nikolai had been furious and vocal in his concern for Mira and his contempt for Kellan's part in all that had transpired, Renata's quiet, heartsick fear was even harder to take.
"Look at all the hurt I've caused," Mira said. "My vision is to blame for everything, Rennie. It was a curse that never brought anything good."
"No," Renata replied. "That's not true." Gentle fingers on Mira's chin turned her face toward the sound of her mother's voice. "You showed Niko that he and I were destined to be together, remember? And before that, your gift gave Hunter a glimpse of hope that not only saved your life as a result, but his as well. There's been good with the bad. Don't wish that all away too."