He exhaled sharply. "You could say that."
His gaze met hers, and now his irises were bright with amber sparks, skewering her where she stood. Mira could feel his fury rolling off him, could see it in his hot glare, as if he couldn't stand the sight of her today.
"Aren't you going to tell me what's wrong?" she asked, refusing to be cowed. "You can talk to me, Kellan - "
"Talk to you?" he snarled. "I don't want to talk. I need to think. This is my problem. You're not a part of it."
"I am a part of it, whether you like it or not," she reminded him. "Whether either one of us likes it or not, you've made me a part of this."
He slammed the chest lid down so hard, it echoed like a cannon shot. He came up out of his crouch in an instant - less than that - and was standing right in front of her before she could take her next breath. Less than a hand's width separated them; she was close enough to feel the heat radiating from his every pore.
The glyphs that had been pulsing with the furious hues of Kellan's anger and frustration a few moments ago now deepened. There was still rage in them, but Mira watched the colors morph toward need and something darker as Kellan crowded her with the massive bulk of his body. His fangs seemed enormous, as sharp as daggers behind the menacing curl of his lip.
"You want me to tell you how badly I f**ked up, going after Jeremy Ackmeyer?" Kellan's eyes blazed as hot as coals as he spoke, his pupils reduced to thin slivers of black in the middle of so much amber fire. He went on, his words vicious with self-directed fury. "You want to hear how I've grabbed an innocent, decent man - a man who wouldn't harm a fly, much less another person?"
Mira tried to process what he was telling her, but hearing his torment, she could hardly breathe. Dark emotion played across his face, turning his handsome features stark and fierce.
A low snarl curled up from the back of his throat. "You want me to explain how my orders will mean a certain death sentence for Candice and Doc and the rest of my crew if I don't figure a way to straighten this shit out?"
Mira's heart was pounding in her ears. She wanted to touch him, comfort him somehow, but she held herself in check, focusing instead on the truth of what he'd just said. "Jeremy Ackmeyer is innocent?" She searched Kellan's face, braving the enraged heat of his glare. "I thought you traced the UV tech back to his lab."
Kellan answered with a growl. "The tech is his. Ackmeyer didn't release it to anyone, not for money or otherwise. Someone stole the technology from him."
"He told you this?"
Kellan nodded. "And I read the truth of it when I touched him. He's innocent, Mira."
"You have to let him go," Mira murmured. Now she did reach out to Kellan, turning his face toward her when he tried to dodge her gaze. His jaw was rigid in her palm, a tendon ticking hard against her fingertips. "You have to release him. Take him straight to the Order and tell Lucan what you've discovered about the UV tech and the killing of Nina's lover."
He looked at her for a long moment, then exhaled a curse, shook his head.
"We can do it together, Kellan." Mira searched his blazing eyes, determined to convince him. "We'll go tonight, as soon as the sun sets. We'll fix it, Kellan."
His answering scoff was brittle as he flinched away from her touch. "I can no more do that now than I could before I realized Ackmeyer was innocent."
"Yes, you can. This changes everything - "
Kellan's eyes blazed even brighter. "It changes nothing. I'm still guilty of kidnapping and conspiracy. The GNC won't care what my reasons were for taking a human civilian hostage. Do you really think the Order will, especially when they learn where I've been all these years, what I've been doing?"
"Then we'll make them understand," Mira said, not even sure herself how they might accomplish that, but damn it, she was determined to try. All she needed was Kellan to agree. "We'll go to Lucan together and explain everything. There has to be a way. Once they see Jeremy Ackmeyer is free and unharmed, they'll be willing to listen, Kellan."
He stared at her for a long moment, considering, she hoped. But the look on his face was hard, unyieldingly so. "You're right about one thing, Mira. I have to release him. I'll release both of you. But not until my crew has a chance to dismantle our base and find shelter somewhere else. I need to know they'll be safe too, after all of this is over."
He stepped away from her, about to turn around and leave. Mira took hold of his arm. "What about you? Where does all of this leave you?"
She didn't like the flinty look in his glowing eyes. "Don't worry about me. This time I'll do what I couldn't before."
"What do you mean?"
He touched her face, so gently it threatened to break her heart all over again. "I'll put as much distance as possible between us. This time, I promise, I'll make sure our paths can never cross again."
The vow struck her like a physical blow. Now she was the one seething with fury - instant, blood-boiling fury. "You selfish son of a bitch! Don't you dare pretend you're doing this for me."
"It's the truth," he stated flatly. "I don't want to hurt you, Mouse. I never wanted that."
Unable to contain the hurt and anger that was raging in her, Mira slapped him, hard across the face. "I want nothing more than to hurt you now," she seethed. She pounded her fists against his strong, na**d chest, wishing she had a blade in her grasp. "I want you to hurt like this too, damn you. I would make you bleed if I could!"
Kellan calmly caught her punishing hands, tucking them into a tender hold between their bodies. If he had grabbed her with force, she would have railed against him with all she was worth. She wanted that excuse. She wanted to curse and strike and hate him for this moment and all the others that had brought her so much heartache because of him.