I shook my head. “What a hero.”
“That’s exactly what Cam said.” He watched me for a beat. “So what’s up with you two?”
“I’m seeing her,” was all I was willing to offer.
He waited expectantly.
My brow dropped, anger flashing through me at the thought of explaining it in any detail. He wouldn’t understand. My tolerance for Kyle had become nonexistent, and in that moment, I saw it clearly for the first time. “What do you want me to say, man? I’m dating Cam. I’m speaking English, right?”
“It’s just weird. You and … Cam?”
I couldn’t help but notice his lip curled. “What’s so weird about it?”
He shrugged a big shoulder. “I dunno, dude. It’s just that she’s not your type. I mean, you used to live with a model.”
“A model who dumped me for being ‘too nice.’ What the fuck does that even mean?”
“It means she wants some guy to treat her like shit. I think chicks call it alpha or something. Anyway, how do you think I get so much play?”
“Well, that’s bullshit,” I shot, disgusted at the thought. “I don’t think I should have to apologize for having respect for someone I care about. And the real story is that she thought I was someone I’m not.”
“I dunno, maybe she just wanted you to get a little rough in the bedroom.” He made spanking motions with his hand.
I glared. “Yeah, that wasn’t the problem.”
“Well, then what was it?”
“She didn’t want me. She wanted money or a title or … I don’t know. I was just sort of blinded by her, I guess. She’s a damn good actress — she had me convinced she was in love with me for over a year.”
“Maybe she was just bored.”
“Who knows. Why am I explaining myself to you?”
He shook his head, the light gleaming off his blond hair. “Look, man. You can get chicks like Jessica and Gretchen with nothing but the snap of your fingers.” He snapped to demonstrate, as if a girl would appear. “Like when you bailed on going out with me Saturday to go on a date with Adrienne Fucking Christie. You could have had her, but you’re with … Cam.”
My brow dropped, jaw clenching. “Watch it, Kyle. I chose Cam over Adrienne — or anyone else for that matter — for a reason.”
“I miss you, man. We used to be the same, you and me. But now …” He looked me over sadly. “I don’t even think I know you anymore,” he said, in part to himself, I think. “I just don’t get it. Why her?
I almost got up and left, not really interested in defending myself to a guy I didn’t even know if I could call a friend anymore. But I stayed put if for no other reason than to defend her.
“Why did I pick Cam? I picked her because she’s smart. She’s beautiful and she’s funny. She doesn’t put up a front — what you see is exactly what you get with her. Don’t you know how much I want that? After everything …” I swallowed hard. “Cam is everything I’m looking for in a woman, and she makes me happy. Is that reason enough for you?”
His face was frozen. “Listen, I—”
“No, you listen. I don’t even know why I hang out with you anymore, not when you constantly make fun of my life, my friends. Like you have all your shit figured out. Well, I’m sorry I’m not more like you.” I pushed away from the table, jaw tense. “No, you know what? That’s a lie. I wouldn’t want to be like you even if I could because you don’t give a shit about anybody but yourself.” I stood and gave him one last look. “It’s lonely at the top, right? But maybe, just maybe, if you didn’t treat the rest of the world like you do, you wouldn’t be all alone.”
And with that, I turned and walked away, leaving him sitting stunned on the barstool, ready to be anywhere but where I was.
JUST BECAUSE
Cam
I WRINKLED MY NOSE AT my reflection in the dressing room mirror of the high-end department store. “Do these mirrors add ten pounds or make you three inches shorter?”
Lily, Rose’s best friend, laughed from the other side of the door. “Both. Let’s see it.”
I opened the door with a look on my face that said I wasn’t amused.
“Hmm.” Rose folded an arm, touching her red lips with her other hand. “I hate that. It’s the color of creamed salmon.”
I motioned to the front of it. “What’s with this gathered twisty thing?”
Lily huffed, standing tall behind me, her blond hair long. “That gathered twisty thing is actually super flattering.” She was dressed impeccably, which compelled me to listen to her advice, but I looked back in the mirror and frowned.
Rose rolled her dark eyes. “Old ladies wear dresses like this because it hides stuff.”
“Like hot dogs and lies,” I said. “I do feel pretty old in this. I look like sexy frozen yogurt.”
“I don’t see what’s wrong with that,” Lily said.
“Salmon flavored frozen yogurt,” I added.
“It’s like a cougar dress,” Rose added. “You could really rake in some high school boys with this beauty.”
Lily threw her arms up in the air. “You guys are the worst. Next,” she sang, turning on her heel like the ballerina she was. I swear, she could look graceful scrubbing a toilet.
I sighed and walked back into the dressing room, looking over the mess I’d made. I’d tried on at least fifteen dresses, all of which were wrong for me in one way or another. I reached for a nude chiffon dress with an open, draped back. When I pulled it on, I looked like I was naked, and it was so tight, you could see everything. Like, I’m pretty sure I could see the hamburger I ate for lunch.