Trying to prevent the memory of the wounded look in those crystalline green eyes, I start to turn away from him, moving so he can’t see the welling tears or my trembling chin. He reaches out and holds his favored spot on my bicep. “Get back here, Rylee…”
I squeeze my eyes shut at the forlorn sound of my name from his lips and try to infuse nonchalance in my voice when I actually find it. “Thanks for the good time. It was real while it lasted.” I shrug my arm out of his grasp, and only when I open my eyes to walk away do I see Shane watching the interaction, concern in his eyes at the expression on my face.
Colton mutters a curse beneath his breath as I walk away under the pretense of going to help clean up. Rather than going in to the kitchen to wash dishes, I walk right past it and go into the counselors’ room. I sit on the edge of one of the twin beds there and hold my head in my hands.
What did I just do? I try to catch my breath, my conscience and my heart not agreeing with what my head decided was the best course of action. I fall back on the bed and rub my eyes with my hands, a litany of curses falling quietly from my lips as I chastise myself. A soft knock is at the door and before I can sit myself up, Shane pokes his head into the open doorway.
“Rylee?”
“Hey, bud.” I sit up and the smile I think I’m going to have to force comes naturally at the look of concern on his face. “What’s up?” I ask as I pat the spot on the bed next to me. I can tell something is bugging him.
He shuffles over and sits down next to me, eyes angled down as he laces and unlaces his own fingers. “I’m sorry.” He breathes.
“For what?” I’m usually pretty good at following the moods of the boys, but I’m thrown here.
“I just…you’ve been sad…and he makes you happy…usually…so I invited him so that you’d be happy again. And now you’re sad…and it’s because of him. And I…” He clenches his fists and grits his teeth.
Shane’s discomfort is obvious as it hits me what he’s saying. My heart breaks as I realize that he’s invited Colton here to try and cheer me up without knowing he’s the reason I’ve been so somber the past few days. And then I feel guilty because I obviously did let my relationship with Colton affect my work. I reach out and squeeze his hand.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Shane.” I wait until he raises his eyes to mine—eyes of the man he’s becoming but still reflecting the unsettled little boy deep inside. “What makes you think I’ve been sad?”
He just shakes his head, tears starting to collect at the corners of his eyes. “You just have been…” He stops, and I wait for him to finish the thought I can see working its way to his mouth. “My mom was always so sad…always so upset because it was just us two…I never did anything to help…and then…” One day you found her dead with the empty bottles of pills beside her bed. “I’m sorry, I was just trying to make things better…I didn’t realize he’s the one who made it worse.”
“Oh, sweet boy,” I tell him, pulling him into my arms as a lone tear slides down his cheek. My heart swells with the love I have for this boy, so much older than his years for unfathomable reasons but with such a tender heart, trying to make me feel better. “That is one of the nicest things that anyone has ever done for me.” I lean back and frame his face in my hands. “You, Shane—you and the rest of the boys in our family—are what makes me happy on a daily basis.”
“Kay… Well, I don’t have to accept his present if it upsets you,” he offers without a hesitation.
“Don’t be silly.” I pat his leg, the gesture touching me. “Colton and I are fine,” I lie for good measure. “He’s just being a guy.” I get a slight smile out of him with that line despite his eyes still reflecting uncertainty. “Besides, think how cool it’ll be to tell all of your friends that a real race car driver taught you how to drive!”
His grin widens, “I know! It’s so cool!” And once again we are back on even footing. He stands and starts toward the door, my little boy who is growing up so fast.
“Hey, Shane?”
“Yeah?” He stops at the door and turns around.
“Happy birthday, buddy. I football you more than you’ll ever know.”
A sheepish smile spreads across his face, his hair flopping down over his forehead when he just shakes his head and looks at me. “I’m sixteen now. We can stop with the whole football thing.” He pushes his hair out of his eyes as they meet mine. “I love you too,” he says before shrugging as only a sixteen year old can and walking away. I stare after him with a smile plastered on my face, a heart overflowing with love, and tears of joy pooling in my eyes.
The beautiful Florida sunshine feels magnificent on my skin and elevates my spirits. Arriving a day earlier than needed in St. Petersburg, I have taken full advantage of the ever-present warm weather and lavish pool of the Vinoy Resort and Golf Club. The home base of CD Enterprises and Corporate Cares for the next few days. There’s nothing like relaxation and the touch of sun on my skin to rejuvenate me before my official duties and the whirlwind that will ensue tomorrow.
It’s not that I mind the crazy schedule—in fact, I look forward to meeting and thanking the people that have helped make the project a reality—it’s that I will have to stand side by side with Colton to show the unity between our two companies. There are photo ops and sponsorship appreciation events among other things before the actual race on Sunday.