“I’m not playing anything,” he said, the words low and hard. “I fucked up. I know I fucked up, I’ve apologized for it, and I’ve done my best to make up for it. I’ll never get that time with her back, and I’ll regret that for the rest of my fucking life. But no goddamned way I’ll let you or anyone else get between me and my girl, Mel. I appreciate all you’ve been through and I’m thankful that you’re Izzy’s mom, but don’t think you’ll get rid of me. You’ll never be rid of me, Melanie. For the rest of your fucking life, I’ll be here because we share a kid. So stop being so nasty all the time.”
I stood, trembling, as he raised his hand to my hair, pushing the short bob back behind my ear. His fingers traced the lobe, sending chills all the way down my spine and between my legs. Memories hung between us, heavy and sweet.
“I liked it better long,” he whispered.
“It was too much work taking care of it,” I managed to reply, wishing like hell I couldn’t feel the heat radiating off his body.
“If you fuck him tonight, think of me,” he replied, eyes burning. “Remember what it felt like when I was the one inside you.”
How could someone so vile be so sexy?
“Right, because you’re always thinking of me?” I sneered. He licked his lips hungrily, then leaned over to whisper in my ear.
“Every single time, I pretend it’s you under me. Doesn’t matter who it is, I close my eyes and it’s always your face I see, Mel. You give the word and I’ll fill that hungry cunt of yours.”
I closed my eyes, desperate for some space.
“You can’t talk like that.”
He traced his nose along the side of my face, scenting me.
“Almost a year,” he whispered. “Almost a year I’ve been free, doing everything I can to help you. Financially, around the house. I said something stupid when you told me about Izzy, and then I got reckless. I paid for that by losing the first part of my daughter’s life. I won’t lose any more. I’m done trying to make you happy, Mel, so here’s the new rules. You can fuck around all you want, but you stay the hell out of my world. You come back inside, I’m taking over. Got it?”
My eyes snapped open again, and I jerked back so hard I would’ve fallen across the table if he hadn’t caught me.
“What?”
“You heard me,” he said, his face like stone. “New game, Mel. I’m done riding bitch so you can feel good. Consider yourself warned.”
With that, he turned and walked away.
SIX MONTHS LATER
KOOTENAI MEDICAL CENTER EMERGENCY ROOM
“Todger’s back,” Sherri said, nudging me with her shoulder. “Drunk off his ass and hasn’t been cleaned up since the last time he was in here. Rock, paper, scissors to see who has to deal with him.”
I nodded and we counted to three. She went with paper, I was rock. Crap.
“Lucky bitch,” I said, rolling my eyes. She laughed, offering me a little finger wave. Todger was harmless enough, even if he did smell like a dead fish. The guy had been in and out of the ER for years, just one of the many mentally ill homeless guys we saw regularly. About six months back he’d found some temporary housing, but the last time he’d been in, he’d confided in me that the CIA had planted bugs in the apartment and that he wasn’t safe there. So far as I knew he’d gone back to sleeping under the bleachers down at Memorial Stadium. “Cops bring him in?”
“No, the warming station called an ambulance,” she said. “He started seizing on the floor, sounds like DT’s to me.”
I raised a brow. “Seriously? He’s trying to sober up?”
“Who knows with Todger? Anyway, you better get in there and check on him. We put him in a room, but Dr. Ives is busy with a real case and Dr. Baker is grabbing some food while she can. Said Todger would still be there when she gets back.”
Fair enough—Todger was a frequent flier at the ER, but what he really needed was long-term treatment. When I’d first started, I’d pestered the hospital social workers until they found him something, feeling all proud of myself. They’d warned me that it wouldn’t stick, and it hadn’t. He’d lasted less than a week before he walked away from the program, saying he didn’t like the psychiatric drugs or the people telling him what to do.
Based on his smell, I figured he didn’t like being forced to bathe, either.
“I’ll check on him,” I said, sighing. Taking a quick sip of my coffee, I left the nurses’ station and headed toward his room.
“I owe you one!” Sherri laughed, and it took everything I had not to flip her off. Knowing my luck, some administrator would see me and I’d get reported.
I smelled him before I saw him. For a small-town hospital, we got more than our fair share of homeless, so I’d gotten used to patients who reeked of feces and stale alcohol. Frankly, it was better than the smell of blood and rot, which scared the hell out of me. At least you can wash off shit and Todger wasn’t likely to die on me. I stepped into the room and reached for the curtain.
“Todger, I hear you’re back—”
He hit me from behind.
It took a split second to orient myself and then I was fighting. Unfortunately, that was just enough time for him to get his hands around my throat. Oh my God, is this really happening? Sweet, stinky Todger was attacking me, choking the life out of me and I couldn’t even scream for help. He slammed my head against the floor, sending bright bursts of pain exploding through my skull.