Kennedy’s brow furrowed and he could hear her brain working overtime. She was already assuming he’d lied to her.
He continued, “I stayed at the bar while they went up to a room. I told Greyson I’d be up in a bit. I made it all the way to the hotel room door and I couldn’t do it. And let the record state that this wasn’t the first time in the last few months that I’d walked away from a woman.”
“Go on,” Kennedy said in a steely tone.
“Greyson called me while I was standing outside the hotel room door and I told him I couldn’t do it.”
“By ‘it,’ I assume you’re referring to a threesome?”
Sawyer nodded.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why couldn’t you do it?”
“Because that night I made up my mind,” he explained.
“About?” Kennedy inquired.
“About what I wanted.”
He was surprised she didn’t question him again, but based on her expression, understanding was dawning. Sawyer had to get this out there before he lost the nerve. “Truth is, that night, I decided to go after what I wanted with guns blazing.”
“Which is?” she asked, a little breathless.
Sawyer moved closer to her. Slowly. He held her gaze until his leg was pressing against hers, his hand sliding down her cheek. “You.”
“Me?”
“Kennedy,” he began, his tone low, “I’ve wanted you for so long, I don’t remember what it was like before you. It didn’t matter that you shot me down at every turn. I’ve known for a long time that you’re . . .” Sawyer couldn’t finish the sentence.
“I’m what?”
“You’re the one I want,” he said in a rush, but he didn’t wait for her to respond. “I don’t pretend to be a saint, never have. But I can tell you that there has never been a single woman who has come even remotely close to making me feel what you make me feel.”
“I assume we’re not talking about just sex here,” Kennedy mumbled, her cheeks turning pink.
“Honey, we’re so far past ‘just sex,’ I can’t even see it anymore.”
“So what are we doing?”
“Whatever we want.”
“And what is it that you want?” she asked, her eyes sliding down to his mouth.
Sawyer leaned in and brushed her lips with his softly before pulling back. “I want you. Every way I can have you, and no, I’m not just talking about sex. This is more than that for me, Kennedy.”
“Is that why Greyson’s pissed?”
Sawyer sat back, hating that she was stuck on the Greyson topic, but figuring he had to get it out there. “He’s pissed because we made a pact when we were young and dumb.”
“That whole bros-before-hos thing,” Kennedy said, making him laugh.
“In a sense, yeah. But I’m long past that. I told myself a long damn time ago that if I ever got your attention and managed to hold it, I wasn’t going to give up.”
Kennedy swallowed hard, her eyes locked with his once again.
There were so many things he wanted to tell her, but Sawyer held back. His heart was already on the line, but for some reason, he just couldn’t come out and tell her exactly how he felt. Self-preservation and all that.
But for tonight, he had no issues showing her just how he felt.
Starting now.
chapter NINETEEN
Kennedy knew she should probably have more to say to Sawyer. He seemed to be making an effort to open up to her, but now that he’d leaned in and kissed her, the sexy scent of his cologne, mixed with the heady scent of the man, coalesced into something so powerful, she found herself drowning in his kiss and never wanting to stop.
She had been surprised that he’d been so open with her, and the fact that they hadn’t launched into his bed as soon as she stepped into his house spoke volumes. At least to her. But since he’d been so open, she felt the need to do the same, which meant she needed to put a halt to this before it got out of hand. Placing her hand on his chest, she pushed him away gently, not moving her hand, but instead fisting his T-shirt, desperate to pull him closer.
“You okay?” he asked, his gravelly tone causing fire to lick at her insides.
“Yeah,” she said, smiling when the single word hardly came out. “I just needed to tell you something.”
“What’s that?” he asked, the back of his fingers trailing down her cheek. She leaned into his touch, keeping her eyes locked with his.
“I think we’re past ‘just sex,’ too,” she told him honestly.