“Thanks for the thought. I’m sorry I put you in the hot spot with her.”
“It’s not the first time. I’m used to it.”
Then I was out of earshot, so bone tired it was all I could do to put one foot in front of the other. The elevator doors opened as soon as I pushed the call button, and with a burst of spite, I got in and pushed the button for the parking level instead of holding it for JC.
Once the doors closed me inside, I slumped against the wall and allowed myself the trip down to cry.
I’d hoped the ride would give me time to compose myself, but by the time I arrived in the garage, I was even more worked up than when I’d left Norma’s floor. With tears streaming, I stumbled toward our car. It wasn’t fair. None of this. We were just beginning our life, and now there was a big wrench thrown in the middle of it. Yes, I could cope—I would cope. It was better than losing JC altogether. But what if he was wrong? What if his team couldn’t keep him safe? What if Mennezzo got to him anyway?
“Gwen!” The other elevator must have been waiting on that floor as well, because JC was close behind me. I hurried my steps, as if by making it to the car, I could hide my blubbering.
“Wait,” he called after me. “Talk to me. I can’t bear to see you this upset.”
I didn’t look back. “You think I can bear to see you dead?”
“I’m not going to die.”
I didn’t remember where we’d parked, and surprisingly there were a lot of vehicles in the garage, despite the time of night. I weaved aimlessly around an SUV, not knowing which direction to go and not ready to ask JC.
“Gwen, stop.”
I stopped and wheeled around to face him. “You could though. Don’t you see? This isn’t me being unreasonable.”
“I didn’t say you were being unreasonable. I’m trying to tell you that I’m taking care of this. Trust me.”
“Trust you?” I’d been loud upstairs, but now I was yelling. “You’ve just admitted to two big secrets! And you want me to trust you?”
“They were secrets kept in your best interest.”
“My fucking best interest…” Unbelievable. “Just tell me this. How could you spend all that time away from me, away from everything, to protect your life and then, the next minute, not give a fuck that it was still in danger? Why would you do that?” Wanting so badly to understand, I grabbed at whatever reasoning came to mind. “What, was it not your life that you cared about, and only the chance to testify for Corinne?”
There. Like a punch to the lungs, I was suddenly certain I’d hit the nail on the head. “That’s it, isn’t it? You don’t fucking care if you die. You just wanted the chance to tell her story because she’s the only person who ever mattered in this anyway, isn’t she?” It was always her. It was the fear that never let me go.
“Are you serious?” His eyes were wide. Incredulous. “That’s not it at all.”
“Then what?”
He shook his head, cursing under his breath, his fist on his hip as though he’d anchored it there in lieu of hitting something.
I’d learned from my father not to push someone when they had that look. But I knew JC would never hurt me, and I wanted answers. “Just tell the goddamn truth for once!”
And then he snapped. “The truth is I wasn’t going to look for you!”
For half a second, I was confused, not understanding what he meant.
Then I did understand. He was talking about after the trial. He’d never intended on looking for me.
In that moment, I realized two things with blazing clarity. First, I’d been wrong—he would hurt me. He’d hurt me with those words more than he could have if he’d struck me.
Second, I wanted to get as far from him as possible.
I whirled away, having no direction in mind, just needing the space.
JC was faster than I was. He’d reached me in two steps, grabbing on to my upper arm.
“Let me go!” I wrestled away from him, but he caught me again a second later. “Let me go, you asshole!”
His grip tightened, and soon he caught my other arm as well. With my hands secured, I began kicking and fighting so fiercely, he had to pin me against a sedan with his entire body.
“Stop! Listen to me!”
I’d lost, but I kept struggling, kept begging for him to let me go, but then his mouth was on mine, and though I resisted initially, it only took a few seconds before I gave in, returning the kiss with fervent urgency. I sucked at his tongue, bit at his lip, and when he loosened his grip enough for me to have use of my hands, I clawed at him as well. He was still pressed against me, and I could feel his erection, hard like steel at my thigh. I shifted, trying to get him closer to my center, desperate for him to make up for the pain he’d caused me with his cock.