***
Twenty-five minutes later, JC and I had been poked and bandaged and were sitting in Starbucks waiting to tell my ex he might be a father. I should have been preparing my speech, but strangely, the only thing I could concentrate on was the non-caffeinated iced latte I was sipping. I badly wanted it to be a regular iced latte, and while Dr. Wright had said I could have up to two cups of coffee a day, I was pretty sure I’d need that when I woke up for work in, oh, just six hours.
It was strange how quickly I was able to adapt to the physical demands of being a mother-to-be. Now if I could just adapt my emotions as well…
“Call Liesl,” JC insisted. “Tell her you’re overwhelmed with bridal stuff. She’ll cover your shift.”
I was already taking so much time off for the wedding. But I was also emotionally drained, so I did. JC dumped my drink in the trash and returned to the line to order me a new one, leaving me alone at the table when Chandler walked in.
My eyes darted toward JC, but he was buried in his phone and not watching the door. Chandler didn’t seem to notice my glance either, sitting across from me without looking around. “Is everything okay?”
I forced a smile that I didn’t feel. “Well. Yes. For the most part.” Diving right in seemed inappropriate, even though it was what I most wanted to do. “Thanks for blowing off your schedule to meet us.”
“Us?”
“JC is here,” I admitted. “He’s at the counter.” Then, because I really did think it might be easier to get out the news while it was just the two of us, I said, “I’ll get right to the point—I’m pregnant.”
“You’re pregnant…” His expression was contained, but I could tell when he figured out why this information was pertinent to him. His eyes lit up. “And you think it’s mine?”
“No. I don’t.” My gut said he wasn’t. “But, apparently, it’s possible.” I explained the ultrasound dating and how it said that I’d conceived during a week I hadn’t been sexually active. “So, like I said, it’s possible.”
“It’s a fifty-fifty chance you are,” JC said, setting my drink in front of me. He remained standing as he held his hand out toward Chandler.
Chandler hesitated but he took it.
“Thank you for coming.” JC let go of Chandler’s hand and sat down next to me. “I’m sure this is awkward for you. I hope you know there’s no hard feelings on my part.”
“I wish I could say the same,” Chandler muttered under his breath. I heard it, but I couldn’t tell if JC did or not.
Maybe I could tell. Because under the table, JC took my hand in his. I wasn’t certain if it was meant to reassure me or to claim me, so I didn’t let go. If I knew it was only for support, I might have, though. I was committed to him, but I didn’t necessarily think we needed to shove it in Chandler’s face.
“Anyway.” I sounded nervous. I was. “There’s a test they can do with just a blood draw. I hoped you’d be willing to give a sample.”
Chandler, who had been giving JC the evil eye, moved his focus to me. “Count me in.”
“Great!” I was more relieved than I thought I’d be. I hadn’t realized that I was afraid he might say no. “The lab is next door. All you have to do is give them this transaction ID number, and they’ll send it for processing immediately.”
With my free hand, I pulled the Post-it note from my pocket where I’d written the information. I scooted it across the table toward Chandler.
He took the note, but then he covered my hand with his. “If the baby’s mine, Gwen, I’ll take responsibility. You know I have the money to support you and a kid, but I need you to know that I also have the desire. I’ll be a good father. But I could also be good for you too. I’d make a damn good husband, or spend my life trying, anyway. And not just because you got knocked up.” He lowered his voice and somehow increased the intensity of his sincerity. “I’m in love with you, Gwen.”
I was frozen, my lips parted. He’d only ever hinted at having deeper feelings for me. His confirmation felt like he’d ripped the bandage off an old wound, taking the stitches with it. I’d hurt him, but knowing just how much hurt me too.
Go numb. Just be numb.
I could ignore the pain. I couldn’t ignore the awkward. Hearing Chandler confess his feelings in front of JC. My fiancé secretly gripping one hand while my ex held the other. There were right words to say to each of the men, but unfortunately, saying them would likely upset one of them, if not both.