Great. Being replaced would be even worse than being dumped. A lead ball settled in Ben’s gut.
Raoul moved his shoulders. “Although for you, she might, perhaps…change.”
Change. And Anne. Right. Ben tried to shrug. “It’ll fall out as it will.”
“Life does do that,” Raoul agreed gently. “Will you… Can I—”
“I’ll be fucking fine.” Because Anne had forced him to see that life was meant to be lived. “She should be here by now.”
* * * *
Why in the world had she exploded at her father and uncles? Anne shook her head as she walked into the Shadowlands clubroom. Her body, even her skin, felt fragile, like a hollowed-out egg that the slightest bump would crack.
Of course, the confrontations with her father and her uncles had been long overdue. She hadn’t said anything she hadn’t thought for a long time. It had been…maybe…a bit freeing to express herself.
But for the rodent Robert to set off the fire and make her burn her bridges so thoroughly? That stung.
Whatever had happened to her control? Her temper never flamed out of hand like that. She didn’t yell, didn’t scream, didn’t cry. But now, rather than properly stored inside, her emotions clung to her fingertips, shaking loose with any minor upset.
And then she knew. Hormones caused mood swings. Tears…and anger.
A corner of her mouth lifted even as she scowled down at her belly and the cause of her wayward emotions. You and I need to talk about your effect on me. Soon.
Her hand ran over her stomach—still flat—and gave it a pat. She was going to have a baby. A real baby. Her eyes instantly prickled with happy tears.
Oh, honestly. She hauled in an exasperated breath. At this rate, she’d start bawling during cat food commercials.
A sudden scream drew her back to reality.
On a nearby bondage table, a petite submissive had started to struggle frantically, sobbing, and screaming. “N-n-no! Asparagus! V-vinegar. Please, no more. Apricots. Stop. God, please stop!”
Someone had just discovered she hated needle play—and apparently couldn’t remember her safeword.
Anne took a step in that direction.
“Easy, pet. Your safeword was artichoke, but I understand anyway. We’re stopping right now.” The sadist Edward was trying not to laugh. He noticed Anne and winked before telling the submissive, “I’m going to take the needles out nice and slow. Take a breath.”
Good Dom. Anne shook her head. There were several advantages to the stoplight safeword system. “Red” was short enough to gasp out between screams. Submissives rarely forgot the word. And everyone in the lifestyle knew the meaning.
Turning away, she pulled in a slow breath and wished she had a safeword for her talk with Ben.
Was he here yet?
She should have asked the new gray-haired security guy, but her voice had disappeared when she saw him. He…wasn’t Ben. Apparently her subconscious had expected her guard dog to be at the desk.
Well, she’d start looking in the usual place. As she headed for the bar, she glanced at the scenes.
A male submissive was bent over with his neck and wrists secured in the wooden stocks. A spreader bar kept his legs far enough apart to display a straining cock.
The spider web held two female slaves restrained side-by-side to get easily caned by their Master.
A young man was doing self-suspension, with a couple of people sitting nearby to assist if needed.
She nodded at Marcus, who was setting up a St. Andrew’s cross. Nolan was taking over the adjacent cross while Beth and Gabi waited on their knees. The two Masters probably had something devious planned. Maybe she could bring Ben back to watch…if he agreed.
She’d see him soon. Her Ben. Like a cold tidal wave, anxiety washed over her, sending her heart to thudding.
No, no, relax. It would be all right. It would. People in relationships…negotiated. Worked things out. Took turns—and it was her turn to try it his way.
Please be willing to try, Ben.
The thought of losing him created a jagged ache in her chest. Firmly, she pushed the feeling away.
If only she didn’t feel so…alone.
She’d fought with her family. Had no job. Was pregnant. Now, maybe she’d lose Ben too.
She stopped, took a breath, and remembered she had a spine. Yes, it was scary to imagine being on her own with a little one depending on her for everything. But she was an independent, smart, caring adult. She wouldn’t let her baby down.
And she mustn’t allow her weakness to push Ben into something he didn’t want. He should be able to walk away from her if that was what he needed.
Would he want that? As she approached the bar, her emotions were an unsettled stew of misery rather than frothy anticipation.