Sitting in the silk upholstered loveseat beside my window, I drowned in dysphoria.
I didn’t want to eat or sew or read.
I just wanted to…exist.
To pretend I had a simpler life and one not so tangled in treachery.
My phone remained silent in my hands, the screen glowing with invitation to mend bridges between Threads and Kite.
A text said a thousand things. It allowed the reader privacy and time to absorb. Good news and bad were easier to face. Easier to accept.
Uncurling my legs, I opened a new message.
I had no idea what to write, so I turned off my mental critique and let my fingers decide for me.
Needle&Thread: Kite...how did everything change? My heart beats for you, my soul craves yours. During the Second Debt we shared everything. We were free. I hate this distance now. Talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking. You give me nothing, but I see everything. Trust me. Come to me tonight. Let me show you I’m yours forever. This doesn’t have to be complicated. I love you. Love is simple, kind. Love is forgiveness. Can we forgive each other before it’s too late?
Tears ran silently over my cheeks as I pressed send.
“JETHRO.”
I looked up from my phone. My father came into my quarters, fastening a diamond cufflink through his black shirt.
I couldn’t stop reading Nila’s text. Over and over again. Her words embedded into my soul, and no matter what happened in the future, I couldn’t carve them out.
Once again, she’d proven her power over me was undeniable, forcing me to face the conclusion I’d finally admitted to myself yesterday.
Nothing would work.
No one would fix me.
I couldn’t continue to be responsible for my brother or sister.
I couldn’t continue to live in constant fear of being murdered or cast out.
It was time to take what was mine—regardless of the aftermath, and I couldn’t do it on my own.
Last night, I’d swallowed a tablet and visited my sister for the first time in almost two months. She’d been cross and short-tempered, but once I laid out my plan, she’d thawed.
Like the perfect sibling, she’d forgiven me and gave me what I needed to face what must be done.
Then, I’d visited Kestrel. I’d apologised, admitted my douche-bag behaviour, and asked for help. Just like Jasmine, he’d granted absolution and listened to my struggles. I hid nothing, revealed everything. For the first time since we hit adulthood, we were completely in-tune and equal.
Lucky for me, after my bout of honesty, he was only too happy to agree to my ludicrously ambitious plans.
Killing Cut wasn’t an option—for now.
We had to be smarter
We had to be shrewd.
The time had come.
Hawks against Hawks.
Cut finished securing his cuffs. “Tonight, Jet. I want it done.”
My body seized. What?
No way.
Every fucking time.
He’d guessed I was breaking and came at the perfect moment with his proverbial hammer to smash me into pieces.
“Not tonight.” I clutched my phone. I had a hair-brained concept, but it was still in its infancy. It can’t happen tonight. I’m not ready.
“Yes, tonight. I want this whole process sped up.” He dropped his hands stiffly by his sides. “Those pills are working. You’ve impressed me more the past few weeks than you have in your entire life. You’ve killed to protect our family. You’ve remained distant from those you don’t need, and you’ve cut that Weaver Whore out of your heart.”
He came forward and patted my shoulder, harsh respect glowing in his eyes. “I don’t want anything to jeopardise the new connection we’ve found, son. And she’s the cause of it all. Let’s get the Debt Inheritance over with. Complete your final test and take your place fully by my side.” His voice dropped. “When the time comes, I’ll gladly hand over the crown because you’ve earned it.”
Despite my hatred for him, relief slithered around my heart. Relief because I’d finally been worthy of the gift I’d been fighting to receive for twenty-nine years.
Pity, it was just empty words.
“I’m proud of you, Kite.”
I bowed my head, squeezing my phone until the casing cracked.
I would have to be ready…there was no other way.
“Now, tell the lady’s maid to prepare the girl. Tonight, we inch closer to the finish line.” His teeth glinted with an evil smile. “Tonight, the Third Debt will be paid.”
I FOUND TEX in the lounge, nursing a brandy and looking as if he hadn’t showered in days. He didn’t look up as I perched on the arm of his favourite chair.
Something had changed between us. We no longer had a close bond—it was taut, strained—full of accusations and denials.
I missed him.
I feared for him.
But I didn’t have the strength to bring up what I truly wanted to know. So, I sat there, rubbing his forearm with my tattooed fingertips, hoping he knew that I forgave him. He might be my elder, but he wasn’t faultless. He needed to let his guilt go before it killed him.
Without looking into my eyes, he spoke. His voice was cracked and brittle, his brandy glass long since dry.
“She told me to hide you.”
I knew instantly he spoke of my mother.
“I had plans. I’d booked flights for all of us. I had a whole new life arranged in America. There was no way I was going to let those bastards have two of my girls. I would’ve died to protect you, Threads. You have to believe me.”
My father’s head bowed as the weight of wrong decisions pushed him deeper into his chair.
“The night before we were due to leave, I had a visitor. He showed me…things—” He swallowed hard, squeezing his eyes as if he couldn’t bear to remember. “He made me believe that no matter where I took you, no matter how well I hid you, they would find you. And if they did, the debts would be twice the repayment. Twice the pain. He made me a promise that if I let his firstborn take you easily, that you would be given a good life. A life that might go on for years.”
A tear rolled down his cheek. He clutched my hand so hard blood ceased to flow. “By God, I believed him, Nila. He had too much…too many things to prove he spoke the truth. I couldn’t refuse. I couldn’t subject you to that. The things they’ve done—”
Taking a deep breath, he stuttered, “So I cancelled our new life and remained, knowing that one day you would be taken from me.” A horrible sob escaped him. “I’m so sorry, little one. I only did what I hoped was right. I chose the lesser evil, do you see? I chose the one with a longer timeframe so I could get you free.”
He looked up, his black eyes watering and bloodshot. “I couldn’t save your mother, but I’m going to save you. I will. I swear it.”
His confession wrenched silent tears of my own. I kissed the top of his head, granting absolution. “I trust you, Dad.”
He collapsed in on himself. I didn’t have the strength to ask him what I desperately wanted to know.
Where did he think my mother was buried all this time?
And what did Cut show him to leave his wife in the hands of monsters?
“Miss?”
The dream shattered.
Not that it was a dream, but a memory. The one time Tex spoke honestly while I’d been back home. He’d then wiped it from his history by drinking so much, he didn’t remember the next morning.
“You awake, Miss?”
I stretched, wincing at the crick in my spine. “Yes. Yes, I’m awake.”
How long did I nap for?
My phone rested on the floor and a damp patch where I’d drooled on the silk loveseat hinted at a while.
I shivered, rubbing my arms to ward off the chill. The archaic central heating in this place was intermittent at best. Scrambling to my feet, I eyed up the marble fireplace. Cold ash and black soot looked back. I’d set it last night, but I sucked at making a decent heat-delivering flame.
Picking up my phone, I checked the inbox.
Nothing.
I’d hoped after my message, Jethro would’ve replied or at least come to see me. I needed him again. I needed him every damn day. The lust in my blood never ceased.
The maid bustled about, picking up scraps of material and tossing them into the wicker basket where my cut-offs ended up. “You have an hour, Miss. Time to get ready.”
“An hour?” I rubbed my eyes, chasing off the cloudiness from my nap. “For what?”
The maid with her brown ponytail and pink lips never stopped tidying. “Wasn’t told. I only know you have to get ready.”
My heart unfurled. Could it be Jethro’s way of asking me to prepare for a long overdue conversation?
Could he be taking me on the date he promised the night of the Second Debt?
I hugged myself at the thought. Finally. After weeks apart, we could finally connect and be true. Like we should’ve done at the start.
He’d admitted we were on the same team, yet he’d avoided me ever since.
Teams have to stick together, Kite.
He’d been raised with siblings but always so alone. However, he wasn’t alone any longer.
He has me.
“Tell, Mr. Hawk, I won’t need an hour.”
Without waiting for her reply, I charged into the bathroom.
Fifty-one minutes later, I stepped from the misty steam back into my bedroom.