Especially when his large hand closed around hers, enveloping it in warmth.
“S-so what’s showing tonight?” she mumbled, hoping to change subject from unbelievably romantic dates she had no business going on. And to distract herself from the way her whole body became attuned to his as soon as they touched.
“This week it is The Wrong Girl 3.”
Sam tried not to let the disappointment show on her face. Not that she didn’t appreciate the popularity of the film, based on three books about a girl living in a post-apocalyptic future, whose mother marries a maniacal despot out of desperation. But teenage girl, abusive stepfather—it was a little close to home and certainly not the movie she would have chosen to watch in her free time.
“But tonight, theater shows different movie,” Nikolai told her.
“Which one?” she asked.
As if in answer to her question, the screen suddenly came to life with the opening strains of “As Time Goes By” followed by the Warner Bros. Pictures logo. And then, a plaintive voice saying, “I need your help, Veronica!”
Luckily they were the only ones in the movie theater, because Sam screamed out loud. It was the Veronica Mars movie! And on a twelve-foot screen, no less!
Yeah, that sealed it. She leaned over and dipped her hand into Nikolai’s white paper bag of caramel popcorn, feeling she had no choice but to confess, “Best. Date. Ever.”
34
“Did you enjoy the movie?” she asked Nikolai as they made their way back to the hotel a couple of hours later. She was glad for the long walk back because she wasn’t quite ready for the night to end.
Not only because this had seriously been the best date in the entire history of all dates that had ever gone down, but also because she didn’t know how she should handle the hotel room sleeping arrangements. The room had a blue couch, long enough for her to stretch out on, and she’d made a point of placing her suitcase next to it before they went out to dinner, her way of letting him know nothing had changed between them except the locale.
But that was before she’d discovered Nikolai’s event was really a date… really, more like a mini-honeymoon. Whatever you wanted to call it, it was the best one she’d ever experienced. And though she wasn’t one to be pressured into doing anything she didn’t want to do, well, c’mon! It was kind of hard not to want to do pretty much anything with him after a date like the one he’d just taken her on.
“Da, I liked movie,” he said. “But I am more wondering why you like her so much—this Veronica Mars character.”
“I guess I like the idea of a girl taking control of her own life, using her wits and unique skills to one-up the bad guys. Also, she’s really spunky, the way I wish I had been when I was younger.”
“Me too.”
“What?” she teased, scrunching her nose up at him. “You wished you had been a spunky girl?”
“I wished for more control when I was young, da.” His face darkened. “My home life was not happy.”
She waited for him to say more, but this time he didn’t surprise her. Just continued walking, letting the subject fade away before asking, “How is your morning sickness?”
“Much better now,” she answered. “I haven’t felt nauseous for the last ten days, so I think it’s finally letting up.”
“Book I am reading says you should eat many small meals throughout day. Eating like this will keep your stomach happy and give you nutrients you need.”
She did a double take. “Wait, you read that? In a book?”
“Da,” he answered, sounding confused by her confusion.
“You, Nikolai Rustanov, are reading a book about… what? Like a guide to pregnancy?”
He stiffened beside her as if he’d been caught do something embarrassing. “Da,” he admitted.
“But why?” she asked, finding it hard to imagine this hulking male beside her was actually reading a book like What to Expect When Expecting when she hadn’t even started reading pregnancy books herself.
“Because…” He went quiet, and for a few moments there was only the sound of her wedges and his shoes, crunching against the gravel. “Because I am not bad man like you think. I was not bad caretaker to Pavel because I wanted to be. I was not good parent because… because I don’t know how to be good parent. My mother and father maybe not so good at job.”
Her mind went into buffer mode, she was so shocked he was once again sharing something real with her. But thank God she was a natural counselor, her autopilot soon kicked in. “So because you had bad parents, you think you’re doomed to be a bad parent? Is that why you were keeping your distance from Pavel when we first came to live with you?”
He nodded, his eyes seemingly glued to the street beneath his wing tips. “He is maybe not lucky boy. At first I think, I will give him money and room to live in, that is all he needs. But when I see you with him, way you are with him, way he is with you, I realize I cannot give him what you give him because I do not know how.”
He expelled a harsh breath, as if saying this to her was actually a major effort on his part. Maybe it is, she thought, waiting for him to finish, completely fascinated.
He continued to look down at the ground as he said. “When you tried to leave my house, take my baby with… When you said to lawyer I am bad parent, I… I…” he shook his head seemingly unable to finish that sentence. “After that I told Isaac to buy for me books about how to be good father. It is hard because maybe my English is okay for talking, not so good for reading, and they have many books translated to Russian for woman but not for man.”
Sam stared at him, her eyes wide as her hands unconsciously came to rest on top of belly. “Are you trying to say you want to be a father? A good father to this child?”
Silence, then a quiet, “Da,” as if he’d had a hard time working up the nerve to say that one word. “I want to be good father. Good father to both Pavel and our baby.”
He finally met her eyes, his own filled with utter sincerity. “I’m hoping I can read enough books in time.”
Dammit. And there went Sam’s last line of defense. She’d let Pavel into her fortress willingly, happily. But Nikolai’s simple wish struck an impossible chord, one that crumbled the last wall she’d constructed around her heart to keep out men like Nikolai, cracking it open with a sudden flood of compassion.