“A favor for a friend. Now we’re square.”
Amery frowned at the shadow beneath his jaw. “Is that a bruise?”
“Probably. Some favors are unappreciated.”
Vincent’s nasty comment from earlier echoed in her head. “He’s a thug. A highly trained thug, but a thug nonetheless.”
No, he was just a man. She kissed the mark. “Let’s get you in bed.”
“Love to hear you say that. Although all I’m up for tonight is sleep.”
She stopped and pointed at the back door. “If you’re not going to f**k me at least three times, you might as well get the hell out.”
Ronin laughed, as she hoped he would. “Let me get a few hours of shut-eye and I’ll be all over you.”
“Well, then. I suppose you can crash with me.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
RONIN woke her when the faint orange glow of dawn teased the edges of the curtains. He said nothing; he just brushed his mouth over her ear until she offered him her throat. He placed a soft kiss on her jawline and nuzzled his face against her neck.
At first she loved the prickliness of his facial hair abrading her skin. But when he rubbed in the same spot on her throat and then the tops of her br**sts, it became uncomfortable.
As soon as she tried to touch him, he knocked the pillows to the floor, pinned her arms to the mattress, and trailed sucking kisses from one side of her neck to the other. Over and over. Then he did the same scraping sweep from one breast to the other. Keeping a firm grip on her wrists, he settled between her thighs and thrust into her. He moved with such desperation. Fast and hard, with no time for finesse. No time to catch his breath in the race to the finish line. He swiveled his hips and Amery arched up, reaching for that moment of pleasure. She came quietly, panting against his neck, and his silent climax followed hers.
Amery was a little taken aback by his impersonal actions, because Ronin wasn’t a selfish lover. Ever. Not even when he had her bound. She broke his hold on her wrists. Touching his back, running her hands through his hair, hoping to get through to him, because he seemed to be in a daze. “Ronin?”
He started to lift up and she thought she’d finally gotten somewhere with him. But he rolled onto his side, away from her, and she heard the deep rhythmic breathing that indicted he’d fallen asleep.
She slid off the bed, grabbed her robe, and crept out of her bedroom, completely disconcerted. Something hadn’t been right with him. She didn’t mind aggressive sex, but she suspected Ronin hadn’t been conscious of his actions.
What? He was sleep-fucking you?
That did sound ridiculous.
She poured a glass of water and noticed the red mark on her wrist. On both her wrists. Finger-shaped marks. Where else had he left marks on her? She dropped the robe and stared at her reflection in the mirror, shocked at what she saw.
Her neck was covered with patches of beard burn interspersed with red suck marks. Same with her chest.
Amery looked away from the marks and slipped the robe back on.
He’s a violent man. Aren’t you afraid he’ll hurt you?
The irony wasn’t lost on her. Ronin hadn’t hurt her in anger; he’d hurt her while making love to her. Had he even been aware of his actions in his exhausted state?
You’re making excuses for him?
She jumped when a loud knock sounded on the door. “Amery?”
“If you need to use the bathroom, try the one downstairs.”
“I don’t need to use the bathroom. Let me in. I know something’s wrong.”
“Just give me a minute.”
“No. Open the goddamn door or I’ll kick it in.”
There’s another example of his violent streak. Are you really sure you know this man?
She shrank against the wall.
No sound came from the other side for several long moments. Then he said, “Please.”
Amery found herself unlocking the door and walking past him into the kitchen. Hands shaking, she poured a glass of juice. Her heart raced when Ronin moved in behind her.
“What happened? Help me out because I don’t remember a goddamn thing.”
She faced him. “You don’t remember anything at all?”
“I vaguely recall coming here late last night and crashing next to you. Then about five minutes ago I woke up alone, surrounded by twisted sheets and your taste on my tongue.” His gaze dropped to her hands, and how tightly she clutched her robe. “Amery. Did I hurt you?”
She stared at him but couldn’t give voice to the it’s not so bad excuse.
“Let me see.”
“I’m afraid to.”
“Why?”
“Because of what you’ll do to yourself when you see what you did to me.”
That gave him pause. “Jesus. I hurt you and you’re worried about me.”
Yes, because it wasn’t really you.
“Let me see it. Now.”
Fed up with her self-recrimination and frustrated by his hot and cold behavior, Amery let the robe fall to the floor.
Ronin clenched his hands at his sides as his gaze mentally catalogued every inch of her. “You are brightness and beauty in my life and your trust in me is something I treasure . . . and I did this to you?”
Amery didn’t say anything; she just watched him. The horror on his face ripped at her.
“Where does it hurt the most?” He briefly closed his eyes. “If you say you hurt worse inside than outside . . .”
And like usual, she rushed to reassure him. “The beard burn stings. Arnica gel will help, but first I need a shower.” Maybe steam would clear the cobwebs in her brain and the heat would loosen her tensed muscles.
When she exited the bathroom thirty minutes later, Ronin stood in front of the living room window. In two steps he erased the distance between them. “Baby. Let me put this right.” He nuzzled her temple. “Please.” He kissed her. Not tentatively as she expected, but with surety that felt like comfort and love.
Love?
That’s when she feared she’d forgive him anything because she loved him. It frightened her as much as it thrilled her.
When he finally released her mouth, she tilted her head back and looked at him. She noticed Ronin had dark circles under his eyes. Every line in his face read exhaustion. She let her fingers drift across his baby-smooth face. When had he shaved? Had he done it out of guilt? “Ronin. You’re not okay and it doesn’t have anything to do with me.”
“You’re all that matters to me right now.” He placed his hand over hers. “Come on.”