She pushed through the door and clicked-clacked out to the parking lot. “Yes, well, I decided we need a ladies night out. We haven’t done anything together since you started dating Whips and Chains.” At her car, she pulled a big, exaggerated pout. “I’m feeling a little neglected.”
“Okay, I admit, I’ve been a little busy lately. But we went out for dinner that one time--”
“One time.” Jill lifted her right index finger. “Once. In how many weeks? You see my point? He’s taking over your life.” She opened her door and plopped into her seat.
“He is not taking over my life,” I grumbled as I snapped myself into the seatbelt.
“Good. I’m glad to hear you say that. I hope you mean it.” She shifted her car into gear and hit the gas. “I’ll take you home so you can put on something cute. We’ll hit the clubs.”
“The clubs?” It had been a long time since I’d gone out with Jill, and it had been an even longer time since we’d gone to a bar. Because I had been neglecting Jill a little in recent weeks, I was glad to spend some time with her. But the thought of dealing with the crowd at her favorite haunts—particularly the leering guys—made me feel a little sick to my stomach. Maybe I could convince her to head somewhere a little tamer. Somewhere like…a nice restaurant.
At home, I changed into an outfit that wouldn’t get me sexually molested if we did go to her fave club, switched my keys, phone and one debit card into my one and only designer handbag, a vintage Chanel bag my mother had kept wrapped in paper in her dresser, slipped my feet into my most comfortable nighttime shoes and teetered out to the living room.
Jill took one look at me and twisted her face into an ugly scowl. “Are you kidding me?”
“What’s the matter?” I checked my reflection in the mirror hanging next to my door. Okay, I wasn’t going to be winning any beauty pageants tonight, but I wasn’t interested in impressing anyone anyway. I was presentable.
“What’s the matter? You look like you’re going to a funeral.”
“What? I do not.” I checked my reflection again. Sure, I was wearing black. But a lot of women wore black at night. Black was always a safe choice. And my makeup and hair were both on the boring side. But, again, I didn’t care.
Jill tossed an arm over my shoulder and not so gently steered me toward my bedroom. In there, she positioned me in front of the full length mirror in the corner of my room, the one I hadn’t checked before coming out.
She was right. I did kind of look like I was going to a funeral. My black pants were more corporate daytime than let’s-party nighttime wear. And the jacket…yeah, it fit me great and was well made, but it was also outdated and a bit dowdy. The outfit even made my cool little purse look tired and old.
“Okay,” I admitted, “this probably wasn’t the best choice in outfits.”
“I think you’ve forgotten how to dress sexy. Let me help you.” Jill pushed open my closet doors, crossed her arms and tapped her chin. “Wow, you’ve bought a lot of new stuff, I see. It’s all really nice. Too nice for where we’re going tonight.” She pulled out one of the gowns Shane had given me. “Is this Marchesa? I know where to come when I have a formal event to dress for. But where are all your sexy clothes?”
“Yes, it’s a Marchesa. Shane bought me all that stuff,” I informed her, hoping the fact that he’d spent a great deal of money on me might make her see he wasn’t all bad. “My old clothes are in the back.”
“Yes, well, this new stuff is nice.” She pushed them to the left, out of her way. “Really, really nice. Wow. I see he even bought you a Valentino.” She held the precious little dress with lacy layered tulle over silk up to her body. “That’s some serious cash there.”
“He likes to buy me nice things.”
“That’s wonderful. But I still don’t trust him.” She returned the Valentino to its place in the closet.
“Are you going to tell me what you found out about his wife?” I asked as I watched her root through the darkest corner of my closet for my old slutty bar wear.
“No.” With her body halfway concealed behind clothes, she thrust one arm out, a tiny black, clingy dress draped over it. “Here, wear this. You always looked hot in this one.”
I held it up to my body and nearly had a heart attack. I couldn’t wear it in public. It was absolutely indecent. “I’ve gained a few pounds. It isn’t going to fit.”
“Gained? Where?” Stepping out of the closet, my friend gave me an up and down. “You haven’t gained any weight. Try it on.”
I wadded up the garment she’d called a dress into a ball and shoved it into her hands. “I don’t want to wear this. I’ll find something else.” I pushed my way toward the back of my closet.
“Why? Is it because of him? Does he tell you not to look sexy for other men?”
I poked my head out to give my friend a don’t-go-there glare. “No, of course not. He wouldn’t ever tell me how to dress. I just don’t feel like chasing off a bunch of slobbering ass**les tonight.”
Jill sighed. “Fine. Wear something else. Just please nothing that might get you mistaken for my mother. Or a nun.” As I reached for a different dress, also black, but with a high neckline and fuller skirt, she added, “And nothing you would wear to church.”
There went that one.
Clearly this was going to take some time…and a little patience.
Chapter 4
“What a night. Just look at this place. Hotties everywhere. As far as the eye can see.”
I wasn’t nearly as thrilled as my bestie. She saw one hot prospect after another. Me, I wasn’t looking, so all I saw was one horny guy looking for a hookup after another. Once upon a time some of the men might have turned my head. But not anymore. Shane was all the man I needed. He was the only one I wanted.
I wasn’t just in love with him, I realized as I sat there, staring into my lukewarm diet cola. I loved him. Loved, as in wouldn’t ever want to hurt him. Loved, as in couldn’t imagine life without him.
And he loved me too.
He was scared. So was I.
Loving him meant he had the power to devastate me. Loving him meant I willingly gave him that power.
The last time we were together, he’d said something strange, “I can’t live like this.” I hadn’t stopped wondering what he meant by that. I hoped I would find out soon.