I swallow hard and flick my gaze to him. “No one told me you had such bad language.”
He laughs and gulps back some of his drink. When he moves the glass away from his face, I’m struck again by his sheer male radiance. “You don’t use ‘swear’ words?” He makes air marks around swear, and says it in a meek, little old woman type of voice.
“I use them when they’re warranted,” I say, trying not to laugh at his voice.
“You are f**king hot. It’s warranted.”
I take a deep breath. “You come on strong,” I say, and I’m proud of how dry my voice sounds—like I don’t care one bit.
“That’s what they tell me.” He’s proud. I’m sure coming on strong has gotten him into a million pairs of blue jeans. But I don’t like guys who come on strong—do I?
With one arm still around me, Marchant Radcliffe reaches into the magazine rack, pulling out a smallish bottle of Grey Goose I guess he had hidden, and adds a few inches to his drink. Then he offers it to me.
“You look like you could use a little liquid R&R.”
As he says it, he presses his leg against mine again.
Butterflies shoot through my stomach. I move my leg. Shake my head.
“I’m fine. Maybe a little tired.” Because I already got smashed once today, I think as I direct my gaze to the curved ceiling. Because I’m losing my damn mind.
He takes another long swig of his drink, and just when I’ve almost managed to peg him as a stereotype—rollicking frat boy/man whore in grown-up clothes—he grabs my hand and shuts his eyes.
“I know you’re gonna pull it away, but could you just give me a minute? Kinda helps…ground me.”
My hand twitches around his and I find myself staring at his eyelids. “You don’t like to fly?”
“That’s the short version,” he mumbles.
“I assumed you’d be in the jet set.”
He flips his eyes open, and they look dark. Just…weirdly dark. “I don’t want my own plane.”
I get an odd feeling in my chest, like he’s telling me something more personal than he doesn’t like to fly. I flip through my mental list of celebrities, politicians, and business people who’ve been in plane crashes or near-crashes, but I don’t remember Marchant Radcliffe being among them. And then I remember: his parents died in a plane crash.
I stare at my knees, because I’m not sure how to respond to him, and I’m surprised to feel his hand stroke down my neck. It feels good. Tickles. He leans in closer, brushing my fingers with his and resting his head on my shoulder.
It’s easy to pretend that this is the kind of passion I’ve been looking for. Then I peek my eyes open and notice Lizzy and Hunter have looked up from Hunter’s iPad and are staring.
I tug my leg away from his, attempt to shrink away from him even though his arm is still around me. “I’m not your type, remember?”
“I know that.” He’s nuzzling my neck.
Lizzy and Hunter get up abruptly, heading toward the bedroom just a bit too quickly, and Marchant and I are left alone. His arm is still around me, and I’m forced to face the fact that I like it.
“Is this an every woman thing, or just me?” I whisper—because despite myself, I have to know. “Are you just someone who likes to toy with people?”
He pulls away, and it’s like a house of cards falling. His eyes are surprisingly bleak when he says, “It’s a ‘me thing,’ Suri Dalton.” He laughs, humorless. “I’ve…I don’t know. I’ve got problems.”
As I move from my seat to one across from him, desperate to put some space between us, I decide it’s a me thing, too. Because even as he takes a long swig straight from his bottle, I can’t seem to get my body to calm down.
*
MARCHANT
Goddamn. This is gonna happen here, and when it does, this beautiful angel is gonna see it.
I stand up, bottle in my hand, but there’s nowhere to go. The bedroom door is closed, and most of the cabin is this open f**king room.
I pace toward the cockpit and my mind is filled with crazy shit. I duck behind the curtain and I breathe into my elbow.
Calm down, f**khead. You just gotta make it till we land.
I twist the cap off the Goose and pour it down my throat.
“Mr. Radcliffe?”
I blink at the flight attendant who just appeared in front of me. I can’t remember her name right now, although I’m aware that I should know it. She touches my arm, and I’m tempted to slap her.
“Can I get you anything?”
I move away and shake my head, already drifting back into the cabin.
Standing here, looking at the back of Suri Dalton’s hair, I feel like I’m stuck in a movie I can’t turn off. I feel like the only way out is to open the door and just…jump.
That’s crazy.
Fuck me.
I sink into the recliner and take a deep pull of my vodka. Put one arm over my head. I try to pretend I’m in my garden house.
I swallow—the sound of it is so loud—and open my eyes, so my eyelashes brush the leather of the chair’s arm. For a moment, my body is completely immobile. As I imagine her arms around me. As I think of what I’d like to do to her throat. To her br**sts. As I return to the image of her arms around me. It’d feel good to be hugged. Held.
And then I hear her coming up on me. I hear her soft voice, asking, “Are you okay?”
Without lifting my head, I say, “I’m fine. I’m just f**king drunk. Started drinking…way too early.”
I wish that was really the problem.
5
SURI
So maybe my first instinct, back there in the atrium, was right. Maybe something is wrong with this guy. And it’s not that he’s a pimp, and it’s not that he’s a player. I think Marchant Radcliffe must have an alcohol problem.
Clearly, the universe has decided my adventure into bad-boy land has lasted long enough, and offered me a solid reason to stay away from him. And I’m grateful for that. I tell myself I’m grateful for it as I watch him stride into the big, steel elevator on the first floor of El Paso’s University Hospital.
I’m trying to think of it like…I don’t know…a muffin. A really good blueberry muffin—my favorite kind of muffin. Except this muffin got dropped in dirt. Or kitty litter! Yep. You wouldn’t want a blueberry muffin dropped in kitty litter, no matter how good a muffin it was. No matter how delicious it looked from far away. Because eating a muffin dropped in kitty litter would be like asking to get sick.