I should have been used to her digs, but her words cut through my armor. I had no comeback. No fight left. I walked to the edge of the pool, crossing my arms as I looked down at the girl reflected back at me.
My tan had soured, my skin pale and withdrawn. My curls hung like limp noodles around my face. Bags were dark and swollen beneath muddy brown eyes. I was exhausted; tired of ducking the paparazzi, tired of the pep talks I had to give myself after I went online and read a new comment detailing just how strange it was that Jacob and I were dating. Tired of the blank email message where the cursor taunted me, static and waiting for the words that never came. I was not ready to admit that maybe Megan was right when she said this was all happening too fast. I was tired of fighting the voice that still could not believe that out of everyone that wanted to screw his brains, which was every woman alive, Jacob wanted me. I was just tired, right down to my bones.
“Maybe you’re right. Maybe I am just a guest that’ll be out of your hair before you know it.” I shrugged my shoulders, approaching numb and too weak to fight it. But the look on her face wasn’t one of victory. Even with her face half-covered in shade, I saw the pain whipping across her features. Her chin trembled as her lips shuddered, nostrils flaring wildly as she fought to hold back tears.
“Don’t be stupid, girl,” she said hoarsely, sweeping her hand over her cheek.
Was she...crying?
“You know what the two of you have is real. I know it’s real. I’ve seen the way he looks at you before.” She looked down at a lock of hair she was nervously twirling. “Jacob looks at you like Carlton looked at her.” She dropped her hands to her lap, clenching her trembling fingers into fists. “Allegra.”
I bit my lip, but I could not dull the complete shock that took over my face. She was apologizing to me? Admitting that I was not just the latest in a string of flings? And she was talking about Allegra?
She rolled her dark eyes at me over the edge of her shades, tearing them from her face. “I know you know about me and Carlton and Allegra. Jacob told me.”
I pulled my cardigan tighter, a gust of wind making goosebumps pop all over me. I looked down at her. “I know about you and Carlton and your baby.” I paused, a real flash of emotion cutting through me. “I’m so sorry.” Her stony expression didn’t say whether she believed or cared about my condolences, so I continued. “But Jacob doesn’t really know what went on between you and Al, besides the fact that you both...knew Carlton.”
She let out a bitter chuckle. “There are no virgins here. You can say it. We f**ked him.”
I narrowed my eyes, trying to stop the heat from rushing my cheeks, but I knew they were as red as her bathing suit.
She nodded at the seat beside her. “Have a seat—this is going to take awhile.”
I glided over the wet stone, lowering myself into the seat beside hers. She picked up a package of cigarettes, pulling out one and offering me one of my own. I made a face, shaking my head. She ignored my clear aversion to cigarettes and lit up, blowing smoke from her mouth like a chimney.
“I was the one that introduced them,” Isabella said, tracing her lips with her finger. “Carlton Whitmore was a man who could walk in a room and turn it into a party. He met no strangers. And even though every girl knew that she was one of many, he had a way of making you feel like you were the moon, sun, and stars all wrapped in one.
I think I waited until the 3rd time he called me up when he was in town before I let myself believe that maybe he really liked me. And I introduced him to my best friend.” Her eyes darkened. “Allegra.”
I sat back. “Allegra was your best friend?”
Isabella took a long drag and held out her arm. Her hand hovered a few feet from the ground. “Ever since we were this high. Allegra was always more concerned with books than boys. For awhile, I thought maybe she didn’t like boys at all—especially when she didn’t bat an eye when she met Carlton.” Isabella flexed her fingers. “They only spoke for a moment. I remember Allegra hadn’t even bothered to change out of her work clothes. She worked in her father’s auto shop and she wore these horrible overalls. Her hair hung in a greasy locks down her back and she didn’t even shake Carlton’s hand.” Isabella chuckled. “I was mortified that she was so rude, thinking she was sticking up for me somehow, but Carlton was amused.
Later that night, when I was ready to go, I saw him watching her. The way he looked at her...it put the moon and sun and stars to shame. He looked at her like she was the universe. Everything he ever wanted.” She crossed her ankles uncomfortably. “I thought sex would make him forget about her, but he started asking about her constantly. He wanted to know everything. And once she started seeing him, that was the end of us.”
Isabella stomped out her cigarette in vicious, shallow jabs. “Not even a baby could pry him away from his precious Allegra. Allegra and I didn’t talk again until I broke down and asked her to speak to him for my little girl. My Lucia.”
“Lucia,” I murmured sadly. “It’s a beautiful name.”
She flickered a look in my direction and nodded. “She was a beautiful child. Born too soon.” She swiped at her cheeks again. “Taken too soon.”
I could not even begin to fathom her loss. “Did you love Carlton?”
Isabella pulled down the brim of her hat. “Does it matter? He made his choice—and it was Allegra.”
I guess in the grand scheme of things, it did not matter.
“And you and Allegra?”
“What about us?” she said with a snort. “How could a friendship survive that? There was nothing left to salvage.”
She talked tough, like she could care less, but the truth was in her voice. She lost three things: her daughter, her heart, and her best friend.
She brought her eyes to mine, her lips curling into a snarl. “Don’t pity me. I don’t need your pity.”
I saw right through the facade. Saw the broken, lonely women underneath. She stormed inside without another word and I leaned back, replaying everything she told me. Would things have been different if she never introduced Carlton to Allegra? Would he have learned to love her?
I guess we would never know. One chance meeting, one look...and everything changed.
I narrowed my eyes, suddenly understanding why she hated me so much.
Out of a string of guests, women that came and went out of Jacob’s life, I was the exception.