I’d seen it before, time and again, not only on Hopper but all the brothers had it. It was a set of unbalanced scales. The top scale had the word “Red” inked in it, rivers of red blood dripping over the sides. I knew, without anyone telling me, that this indicated Tyra and what happened to her because of Elliott. The bottom scale had the word “Black” with a hooded, skull-faced reaper that had creepy blue eyes and a scythe in his skeleton’s hand. The support of the scales was fashioned out of the words, “Never Forget”.
“Black. A brother. Dead because of gash. Gash and greed, Lanie.”
He sat in bed staring down at me and kept talking.
“I get this is a shock and I get why. Trust me, babe, I like it a lot f**kin’ less than you do I got that shit in my history. I like it less knowin’ Black is no longer breathin’ on this earth. He was a good man. He wanted good things for the Club and his family. So much, he died for it.”
This wasn’t easy for Hop, I knew, I could see it, but I was too shocked about all he was telling me to do anything about it.
Hop continued.
“You would like him because he was likeable, loyal, smart, solid. I am not a soldier in the normal sense but I know by experience, you fight a war for something you believe in, you gotta be prepared to do some serious, sick, crazy, messed up shit to win. I came into this Club knowin’ where Tack wanted to lead it, what he wanted to give to his brothers so they could give it to their families, and I came into it goin’ all in. I never had a good family and anyone who spends five seconds with Tack Allen knows the kind of man he is. He promised me he could deliver me to something I wanted. I believed in him and I was right. I enlisted to fight that war, Lanie, and I’m not proud of what I did to help win it but I’m proud that I did my part to get what we won.”
I stared up at him not knowing how to process his words, the hard, determined look on his face, or the information he’d just given me.
I also didn’t have the considerable time I was certain it would take to process this before there was a knock on the door.
Our discussion and that knock, what it might mean, who might be behind that door, sent a wave of panic through me and before I told my body to move, it did.
In a flurry, I threw back the covers, rolled out of bed and snatched up Hop’s t-shirt, chanting, “I’m not here, I’m not here, I’m not here,” as I pulled it on and ran to the bathroom.
I shut the door and deep breathed.
I knew Tack’s eldest son Rush having the boys for a sleepover meant no way Tack or Ty-Ty were coming back down the mountain. Both of them were older than me and I was far from the days where my biggest hope was making the high school cheerleading squad but that didn’t mean they didn’t go at each other like jackrabbits. Until I had Hopper, I didn’t know men with the kind of libido Kane “Tack” Allen had existed. I thought he was an anomaly, a happy one for Tyra, but one all the same.
Feeling somewhat safe from detection, I allowed myself a lazy, happy morning (that unfortunately turned whacked) in Hopper’s bed.
But that didn’t mean whoever was behind that door wouldn’t talk, and it was one thing for my car to be outside the Compound in the morning (I’d crashed, on occasion, in one of the boys’ beds after tying one on) and another for me to be found na**d in Hop’s bed.
“Brother, serious as f**k, you got bad f**kin’ timing,” I heard Hopper growl.
“Know she’s here, got back last night, saw her ride. She left her purse on the bar. I tagged her keys and moved her car,” High replied.I If I wasn’t in Hop’s t-shirt and nothing else, I would have gone out and kissed him. “Here’s her purse but, brother, Benito made some moves last night, not good. Tack’s been informed and he’s callin’ a meeting. Boys’ll be descending soon. You gotta get your woman’s ass outta here.”
Oh no.
Tack was coming down.
And oh no again.
Benito.
I had not forgotten about Benito. I just had not thought about him, seeing as there was a lot of other stuff I had to think about and my head just didn’t have the space for more.
Now, knowing what Hop just told me, Benito again entering the picture, it felt like my head was going to explode.
“Thanks, brother,” Hop replied to High.
“Not sure I get why this shit’s a secret but you two bein’ just a hookup is not where that’s at. Unless you’re goin’ for the all-time record of longest hookup, and, just a head’s up, brother, there’s another way people refer to that shit and it’s called a relationship. Tack won’t care but respect to Cherry, you two better sort this out. Only so many times I’m gonna hightail my ass to her ride and hide it, Hop. Lanie’s the shit and far from hard to look at, so not one brother will have a problem seein’ where you’re comin’ from. But secrets like this amongst family can tear brothers apart. They can do worse to sisters. You hear me?”
Okay, High had never been a favorite. I liked him but, I had to admit, him being surly and all, he wasn’t a favorite. Even if his words made me feel guilt, they also now made him a favorite.
“Lanie’s workin’ through some shit,” Hop responded vaguely.
“Help her work through it faster,” High shot back and I heard a door close.
I gave it a moment before I opened the door and took one step out. I limited it to one when I saw the look on Hop’s face.
“Now my brothers are bustin’ their asses to cover our shit, and you race to the bathroom like you’re fifteen, we’re in your bedroom, I just popped your cherry, and your dad’s at the door. Babe, I get you got issues but on top of all our other shit, we gotta spend some time sortin’ those out.”
This was an unfortunate opening, mostly because it ticked me off.
“Are you saying it’s more important to talk about that right now rather than our earlier conversation?” I asked.
“I’m sayin’ we got a lot to work through and your other shit bein’ in the way is not gonna make this current shit any easier.”
I held his eyes for long moments before I queried carefully, “Did you honestly think I’d be down with all that?”
“No, because I wasn’t down with it,” he answered. “What I honestly thought was that you know me. I’m no different now that you know my history than the man you made love with an hour ago, babe. I wasn’t hankerin’ for the time I shared that history with you but I honestly thought, you bein’ Cherry’s girl, Cherry knowin’ about all this shit, Cherry gettin’ it, you would get that that man was never me. That man was the man he had to be to get this Club to the point it could be a family that would cushion a woman’s fall.”