'Good, ain't it?' Chef said.
'Yes!'Andy said.
For a little while then they discussed the two great texts of born-again dopers: what good shit this was, and how f**ked up they were getting on this good shit. At some point there was a huge explosion to the north. Andy shielded his eyes, which were burning from all the smoke. He almost dropped the bong, but Chef rescued it.
'Holy shit, that's an airplanel' Andy tried to get up, but his legs, although buzzing with energy, wouldn't hold him. He settled back.
'No, Sanders,' Chef said. He puffed at the bong. Sitting with legs akimbo as he was, he looked to Andy like an Indian with a peace pipe.
Leaning on the side of shed between Andy and Chef were four full-auto AK-47s, Russian in manufacture but imported - like many other fine items stocked in the storage facility - from China. There were also five stacked crates filled with thirty-round clips and a box of RGD-5 grenades. Chef had offered Andy a translation of the ideograms on the box of grenades: Do Not Drop This Motherfucker.
Now Chef took one of the AKs and laid it across his knees. 'That was not an airplane,' he amplified.
'No? Then what was it?'
'A sign from God.' Chef looked at what he had painted on the side of the storage barn: two quotes (liberally interpreted) from the Book of Revelation with the number 31 featured prominently. Then he looked back at Andy. To the north, the plume of smoke in the sky was dissipating. Below it, fresh smoke was rising from where the plane had impacted in the woods. 'I got the date wrong,' he said in a brooding voice. 'Halloween really is coming early this year. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe the day after tomorrow.'
'Or the day after that,' Andy added helpfully.
'Maybe,' Chef allowed,'but I think it'll be sooner. Sanders!'
'What, Chef?'
'Take you a gun. You're in the Lord's army now. You're a Christian soldier. Your days of licking that apostate son of a bitch's ass are over.'
Andy took an AK and laid it across his bare thighs. He liked the weight of it and the warmth of it. He checked to make sure the safety was on. It was. 'What apostate son of a bitch are you talking about, Chef?'
Chef fixed him with a look of utter contempt, but when Andy reached for the bong, he handed it over willingly enough. There was plenty for both of them, would be from now until the end, and yea, verily, the end would not be long. 'Rennie. That apostate son of a bitch.'
'He's my friend - my pal - but he can be a harctass, all right,' Andy admitted. 'My goodness but this is good shit.'
'It is,' Chef agreed moodily, and took the bong (which Andy now thought of as the Smokeum Peace Pipe) back. 'It's the longest of long glass, the purest of the pure, and what is it, Sanders?'
'A medicine for melancholy!' Andy returned smartly.
'And what is that?' Pointing at the new black mark on the Dome.
'A sign! From God!!'
'Yes,' Chef said, mollified. 'That's exactly what it is. We're on a God-trip now, Sanders. Do you know what happened when God opened the seventh seal? Have you read Revelation?'
Andy had a memory, from the Christian camp he'd attended as a teenager, of angels popping out of that seventh seal like clowns from the little car at the circus, but he didn't want to say it that way. Chef might consider it blasphemous. So he just shook his head.
'Thought not,' Chef said. 'You might have gotten preaching at Holy Redeemer, but preaching is not education. Preaching is not the true visionary shit. Do you understand that?'
What Andy understood was that he wanted another hit, but he nodded his head.
'When the seventh seal was opened, seven angels appeared with seven trumpets. And each time one blew the boogie, a plague smote down on the earth. Here, toke this shit, it'll help your concentration.'
How long had they been out here smoking? It seemed like hours. Had they really seen a plane crash? Andy thought so, but now he wasn't completely sure. It seemed awfully farfetched. Maybe he should take a nap. On the other hand, it was wonderful to the point of ecstasy just to be out here with Chef, getting stoned and educated. 'I almost killed myself, but God saved me,' he told Chef. The thought was so wonderful that tears filled his eyes.
'Yeah, yeah, that's obvious. This other stuff isn't. So listen.'
'I am.'
'First angel blew and hailed down blood on the earth. Second angel blew and a mountain of fire was cast into the sea. That's your volcanoes and shit.'
'Yes!' Andy shouted, and inadvertendy squeezed the trigger of the AK-47 lying across his lap.
'You want to watch that,' Chef said. 'If the safety hadn't been on, you would have blown my tickle-stick into yonder pine tree. Hit on this shit.' He handed Andy the bong. Andy couldn't even remember giving it back to him, but he must have done. And what time was it? It looked like midafternoon, but how could that be? He hadn't gotten hungry for lunch and he always got hungry for lunch, it was his best meal.
'Now listen, Sanders, because this is the important part.'
Chef was able to quote from memory because he had made quite a study of the book of Revelations since moving out here to the radio station; he read and reread it obsessively, sometimes until dawn streaked the horizon.'"And the third angel sounded, and there fell a great star from heaven! Burning as if it were a lamp!'"
'We just saw that!'
Chef nodded. His eyes were fixed on the black smutch where Air Ireland 179 had met her end.'"And the name of the star is called Wormwood, and many men died because they were made bitter." Are you bitter, Sanders?'
'No!' Andy assured him.
'No. We're mellow. But now that Star Wormwood has blazed in the sky, bitter men will come. God has told me this, Sanders, and it's no bullshit. Check me out and you find I'm all about zero bullshit. They're gonna try to take all this away from us. Rennie and his bullshit cronies.'