Throat tight, she looked helplessly toward Janvier. He reached quietly under the blanket to take her hand. The two of them were silent for the most part, Ashwini content to sit with her sister’s arm around her while Tanu and Arvi spoke, two pieces of a whole that had been torn apart and who’d found one another again for this single magical night.
“It’s time,” Tanu said with a smile as fire kissed the sky on the horizon, dawn whispering its arrival. “I’m so happy to have spent this time with you and your Janvier, Ashi.” Her sister hugged her tight before releasing her from the blanket. “You grew up as smart and as wild and as beautiful as I always knew you would.”
Reluctant to go, but knowing she had to, Ashwini rose to her feet to find herself pulled into her brother’s warm, strong arms. “I’m sorry for not being the big brother you needed,” Arvi said against her ear. “But I have always, always loved you. I am so proud of you for what you’ve become.”
Tears choking her throat, she hugged him with all her might. “It’s okay, Arvi. I understand.”
She hugged Tanu again as well, her arms wanting to hold on forever. “I love you, Tanu. You and Arvi both.”
Face devoid of darkness, Tanu kissed her on both cheeks. “Live an extraordinary life, won’t you, Ashi? Fate has promised me you’ll make it.”
Ashwini couldn’t speak. Nodding jerkily, she grabbed Janvier’s hand and left the garden. It wasn’t until they were in the car halfway down the long drive that she let the sobs come.
“Cher.” Janvier pulled over to the side, beside a winter-barren oak and hauled her across the stick shift into his lap. “Ashwini, what’s wrong?” One hand on her hair, he held her against him, his other arm locked around her waist. “Please talk to me.”
She couldn’t, not for a long time. The first wave of the sun’s rays had warmed up the sky when she whispered, “They’re gone.”
Janvier grew motionless around her. When he moved, it was to press a kiss to her hair. Voice thick, he said, “You knew they were saying good-bye.”
“Arvi started dying the day Tanu began to disappear.” Her brother had done what was necessary to bring Ashwini up, had even become a celebrated surgeon, but he’d been a ghost of the Arvi she’d once known. “Tonight . . . today, Tanu was herself, truly herself, for the first time in years, and I saw Arvi again.”
“They made the decision together.”
“Yes. Everyone used to say Arvi was the alpha of the twins, but they were always equal.” And so, after years of saving Tanu from herself, Arvi had waited for her to come back long enough to make certain of her wishes, waited for a decision uncontaminated by the mysterious disease that haunted the women of their family.
Swallowing past the lump of grief inside her, she reached into her jacket pocket. “Arvi gave me this.” He’d slid it in during the final hug she would ever receive from her big brother.
Janvier took the small envelope, shook it open in the passenger seat. A golden key fell out, along with a folded piece of paper. “I think it’s to a safe-deposit box.”
She smiled through the sadness. “That’s Arvi, organized to the end.”
When Janvier passed her the notepaper, she unfolded it to find instructions on how to access the box. Arvi had written in his strong, sloping hand:
Everything you need to settle our estates is in there. I know we’re leaving you alone, but I’ve made sure you’ll be able to afford every resource you could ever need.
Tanu says she’s dreamed a dazzling future for you, and I want to believe her, but if fate isn’t so kind, then you’ll have the money to fight it. I couldn’t find the answer, but another surgeon might.
Make sure Tanu’s brain is autopsied; compare it to the results of Mom’s autopsy—I had it done privately after the accident. The report is in the safe-deposit box, along with full scans of her brain. The associated slides are in a special medical storage facility you’ll find the details of in the box. Make sure the pathologist follows the format exactly so you get all the required information. If he balks once he has cause of death, hire a private pathologist to redo that part.
You’ve lived without fear for so long. Keep on doing it, keep on being the strongest of us all.
With all my love—Arvi
The grief slammed into her anew and with it a beam of blinding knowledge. “Don’t go with me, Janvier.” She sat up, held the beautiful moss green eyes that had laughed with her across the world. “Don’t make that choice when it happens for me.”
Arms locked around her, Janvier shook his head, his jaw set in a way she’d seen only rarely. She’d lost the argument every single time. “No,” he said, “that you cannot ask of me.”
“Yes, I can.” She gripped his jacket on either side, tried to shake him. “Think of Arvi—he saved so many lives.” Angry tears formed. Blinking them away, she said, “Those gifted hands will never again pick up a scalpel, never again give someone hope.”
“He lived a shadow life,” Janvier growled. “You said it yourself. It was his choice to go today, when he was happier than he’d been for decades!”
“Arvi has been heading toward this since the day Tanu was first diagnosed! You’re whole, healthy.”
“I won’t be after you!” His fury filled the car, his voice raw. “I won’t be me after you.”
“Honor came back for Dmitri,” Ashwini whispered, sharing a secret she’d spoken to no other. “I promise you I’ll come back for you.” She might not wear the same face, the same name, but she’d know him. Always, she’d know him. “No matter what it takes. I’ll come back.”