'So, are you OK?' says Katie in a lower voice.
'I'm fine,' I say with a tiny shrug. 'You know …'
Yeah. I'm so fine, I'm hiding in the loos rather than face my colleagues.
'Have you spoken to Jack?' she says tentatively.
'No. He sent me some stupid flowers. Like, Oh, that's OK, then. He probably didn't even order them himself, he probably got Sven to do it.'
There's the sound of flushing, and Wendy comes out of the cubicle again.
'Well … this is the mascara I was talking about,' Katie says quickly, handing me a tube.
'Thanks,' I say. 'You say it … um … volumizes and lengthens?'
Wendy rolls her eyes.
'It's OK,' she says. 'I'm not listening!' She washes her hands, dries them, then gives me an avid look. 'So Emma, are you going out with Jack Harper?'
'No,' I say curtly. 'He used me and he betrayed me, and to be honest, I'd be happy if I never saw him again in my whole life.'
'Oh right!' she says brightly. 'It's just, I was wondering. If you're speaking to him again, could you just mention that I'd really like to move to the PR department?'
'What?' I stare at her blankly.
'If you could just casually drop it in. That I have good communication skills and I think I'd be really suited to PR.'
Casually drop it in? What, like, 'I never want to see you again, Jack, and by the way, Wendy thinks she'd be good at PR'?
'I'm not sure,' I say at last. 'I just … don't think it's something I could do.'
'Well, I think that's really selfish of you, Emma,' says Wendy, looking offended. 'All I'm asking you is, if the subject comes up, to mention that I'd like to move to PR. Just mention it. I mean, how hard is that?'
'Wendy, piss off!' says Katie. 'Leave Emma alone.'
'I was only asking!' says Wendy. 'I suppose you think you're above us now, do you?'
'No!' I exclaim in shock. 'It's not that—' But Wendy's already flounced out.
'Great,' I say, a sudden wobble to my voice. 'Just great! Now everyone's going to hate me, as well as everything else.'
I exhale sharply and stare at my reflection. I still can't quite believe how everything has turned upside down, just like that. Everything I believed in has turned out to be false. My perfect man is a cynical user. My dreamy romance was all a fabrication. I was happier than I'd ever been in my life. And now I'm just a stupid, humiliated laughing stock.
Oh God. My eyes are pricking again.
'Are you OK, Emma?' says Katie, gazing at me in dismay. 'Here, have a tissue.' She rummages in her makeup bag. 'And some eye gel.'
'Thanks,' I say, swallowing hard. I dab the eye gel on my eyes and force myself to breathe deeply until I'm completely calm again.
'I think you're really brave,' says Katie, watching me. 'In fact, I'm amazed you even came in today. I would have been far too embarrassed.'
'Katie,' I say, turning to face her. 'Yesterday I had all my most personal, private secrets broadcast on TV.' I spread my arms widely. 'How could anything possibly be more embarrassing than that?'
'Here she is!' comes a ringing voice behind us, and Caroline bursts into the Ladies. 'Emma, your parents are here to see you!'
No. I do not believe this. I do not believe this.
My parents are standing by my desk. Dad's wearing a smart grey suit, and Mum's all dressed up in a white jacket and navy skirt, and they're kind of holding a bunch of flowers between them. And the entire office is staring at them, as though they're some kind of rare creature.
Scratch that. The entire office has now turned their heads in order to stare at me.
'Hi, Mum,' I say in a voice that has suddenly gone rather husky. 'Hi, Dad.'
What are they doing here?
'Emma!' says Dad, making an attempt at his normal jovial voice. 'We just thought we'd … pop in to see you.'
'Right,' I say, nodding dazedly. As though this is a perfectly normal course of events.
'We brought you a little present,' says Mum brightly. 'Some flowers for your desk.' She puts the bouquet down awkwardly. 'Look at Emma's desk, Brian. Isn't it smart! Look at the … the computer!'
'Splendid!' says Dad, giving it a little pat. 'Very … very fine desk indeed.'
'And are these your friends?' says Mum, smiling around the office.
'Kind of,' I say, scowling as Artemis beams back winsomely at her.
'We were just saying, the other day,' continues Mum, 'how proud you should be of yourself, Emma. Working for a big company like this. I'm sure many girls would be very envious of your career. Don't you agree, Brian?'
'Absolutely!' says Dad. 'You've done very well for yourself, Emma.'
I'm so taken aback, I can't even open my mouth. I meet Dad's eye, and he gives a strange, awkward little smile. And Mum's hands are trembling slightly as she puts the flowers down.
They're nervous, I realize with a jolt of shock. They're both nervous.
I'm just trying to get my head round this as Paul appears at the door of his office.
'So Emma,' he says, raising his eyebrows. 'You have visitors, I gather?'
'Er … yes,' I say. 'Paul, these are … um … my parents, Brian and Rachel …'
'Enchanted,' says Paul politely.
'We don't want to be any bother,' says Mum hurriedly.
'No bother at all,' says Paul, and bestows a charming smile on her. 'Unfortunately, the room we usually use for family bonding sessions is being redecorated.'
'Oh!' says Mum, unsure as to whether he's being serious or not. 'Oh dear!'
'So perhaps, Emma, you'd like to take your parents out for — shall we call it an early lunch?'
I look up at the clock. It's a quarter to ten.
'Thanks, Paul,' I say gratefully.
This is surreal. It's completely surreal.
It's the middle of the morning. I should be at work. And instead I'm walking down the street with my parents, wondering what on earth we're going to say to each other. I can't even remember the last time it was just my parents and me. Just the three of us, no Grandpa, no Kerry, no Nev. It's as if we've gone back in time fifteen years, or something.