But I could be one hell of a friend.
Glancing back at the locker and seeing there was still no Maggie, I shook Serena loose. “I gotta go. I need to do something. I won’t be in next period,” I said distractedly as I kept searching the halls. Then I moved toward Brady’s next class, because he’d know where I could find her. It wasn’t like Maggie not to go to her locker. What was she doing? Just carrying all her books around today?
As soon as I turned the corner, my eyes locked on her. She was bent over by the far wall, pulling books out of her overstuffed book bag. My relief at just seeing her should worry me. I’d started needing her too much.
For the first time all day a smile pulled at my lips.
She was biting her bottom lip, and a frustrated frown was wrinkling her brow. She let out a huff and stood up to tuck the hair that had fallen in her face behind her ear. Just as she slipped the strands back and sighed, her eyes found mine.
Her eyes briefly flashed with happiness and only made my smile bigger. But then she shut it down fast and gave me a tight smile before bending back over her book bag and quickly jamming all the books she’d just taken out back in. What was the girl doing?
I made my way over to her and dropped to my haunches until we were at eye level. I watched her study my feet for a moment before she slowly lifted her gaze to meet mine. Her cheeks turned pink.
“They have these things called lockers. It keeps us from having to carry around a shit ton of books all day. You should check yours out,” I teased, wanting that tight fake smile to become a real one.
Was she feeling weird about us talking until we’d fallen asleep last night? I couldn’t figure out how the girl I’d gone to sleep talking to was now avoiding me. Because now that I’d found her and saw the way she was trying not to look at me, I knew she hadn’t come to her locker because of me.
“Seriously, Maggie, let me take this bag to your locker and unload this stuff. It’s too heavy for you to be carrying around. I’m gonna have to take you to my chiropractor if you do this all day.”
She zipped up her bag and then stood up. I did the same. But before she could pick up her bag, I grabbed it. “Come on,” I said, putting my hand on her lower back and moving her through the crowd toward our lockers.
She let me guide her, and I liked the way it felt to put my hand on her this way. I’d put my hand there on other girls before, but it had never felt like this. Almost as if I were making sure everyone knew Maggie was mine. Which was ridiculous, because she wasn’t mine; she was my friend. She didn’t belong to me.
Though, the idea of her being mine apparently appealed to me enough to make my heart speed up thinking about it. But no. I had to shut this down. I was emotional and messed up. Maggie was my peace in the storm. I couldn’t confuse that with something else and ruin everything.
I had her combination memorized from helping her last week. I’d committed it to memory without even realizing it. I got her locker open quickly, then started filling it with the books from her bag. “Which ones do you need to keep out?” I asked, glancing back at her.
She stepped closer to me, and the scent of vanilla came with her. I didn’t move. I stayed where I was and inhaled. There was no perfume smell. Just . . . Maggie.
Maggie took a textbook from her locker and reached into the book bag I was holding. She took out a notebook then stepped back. Her smell lingered, and I finished putting her book bag away while telling myself I had to draw a line with her. Wanting to take a sniff every time I was near her was not going to be cool.
Once I had her books in there, I closed her locker and turned back to her. “You gonna tell me why you didn’t come to your locker this morning?” Still not sure if she’d talk to me here. Where people could see.
She ducked her head and reached for her book bag. When she finally looked back up at me, she shrugged.
She wasn’t talking.
That was okay. If she just wanted to talk to me when we were alone, I could deal with that. I’d just need to be alone with her more. Which, given how much it appealed to me, might prove difficult. Knowing how her lips felt and trying to get close enough to inhale her scent were two reasons that being alone with Maggie wasn’t going to be easy.
Shit. I had to get a grip. Maybe Serena was a good thing. She knew the score. She wasn’t in it for anything more than sex and bragging rights.
I reached over and tucked the lock of hair that had gotten loose back behind her ear. It only teased me. When I looked at her or touched her, it was hard to want someone else.
“I missed you this morning. I look forward to seeing you at the lockers. When you didn’t come, it messed with my head,” I explained.
A new softness in her expression transformed her face back to the Maggie from last night. The one who trusted me. I liked that look.
She took a step toward me, and her hand gently brushed mine, not once but twice, before she smiled up at me. My chest tightened. Then she turned and walked away.
West Was Showing Me I Wasn’t Broken
CHAPTER 17
MAGGIE
I was sunk. This thing I felt for West had vaulted right over the crush I was afraid of and gone straight to full-blown feelings for him. He was being too sweet. How was I supposed to deal with not getting attached to West Ashby when he was being so dang nice?
He hadn’t been at our lockers after second period, but he rarely ever was. His classes were on the other side of the building, and coming back in between would make him late for class. I didn’t go to my own locker between third and fourth periods for the very same reason.
So it was lunchtime before I saw him again. Walking into the cafeteria, I let my gaze go directly to his table. I had to remind myself he was just my friend when I saw the blond cheerleader beside him. He liked her. It was obvious. He liked her the way he didn’t like me. My flutters weren’t there now; they were more like an ache in my chest.
Maybe if West hadn’t kissed me, if I didn’t have to face the fact he’d tried me out and not liked me that way, it would be easier to deal with this. But when I saw him with another girl, it served as a reminder that I hadn’t been to his liking. Plain and simple, he just wanted me as a friend because I understood what it was like to lose your parents and still survive.
His eyes moved away from the girl and locked on mine. Then he winked. God, why did he have to wink at me? I forced a smile I hoped looked real and moved to get into the food line. Charlie hadn’t talked to me in second or fourth period today. He’d smiled at me awkwardly, but that had been it. So I figured he wouldn’t show up in line and ask me to sit with him today.
All I could do was listen to the conversations around me. I found out from the girls in front of me, who kept looking at West’s table, that the girl was Serena. Everyone expected her to be the girl West moved on to after Raleigh. I also overheard that Raleigh had been in the bathroom crying over Serena and West this morning.
I genuinely felt bad for her. It had to be hard to lose West Ashby.
By the time I got my tray, I’d also learned that Serena and Raleigh were archrivals. So this was probably going to end up in a catfight in the hallway. . . .
I didn’t even glance at West’s table when I went to go find a seat. I wasn’t going to be pathetic, looking like I was hoping for him to invite me over. Truth was, that was the last thing I wanted. Watching him and Serena while I ate didn’t seem appealing at all. So I made my way to the back doors and went to sit outside at one of the picnic tables.
This wasn’t a popular place to eat. It was hot out. Alabama didn’t start to cool down until October. Everyone seemed to want to stay in the air-conditioned cafeteria. Only the loners made their way out here. I was a loner, so this fit me. Although when it got colder, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stick it out.
There were five picnic tables outside, and four of them had one person each sitting at them. And on the patch of grass underneath each of the two large oak trees was a student with a sandwich in one hand and a book in the other. This seemed to be my place. I went to the one empty table and set my tray down. Then I pulled out the library book I had stuck in my bag. I could read while I ate.
“What’re you doing out here? It’s ninety degrees, Maggie.” West’s voice startled me, and I jerked my gaze up from my book to see him standing on the other side of the table.
He was so tall. Especially when I was sitting down. He had his arms crossed over his wide chest, and his jeans hung low on his hips. The snug-fit T-shirt he was wearing did little to hide all the wonder that was West’s body.
I just stared at him. I wasn’t going to answer. He should know that by now.
“Come inside. We have room at our table,” he said, nodding back toward the door.
I wasn’t going in there to eat with him and Serena. No way. It may be childish, but I wasn’t ready to watch that. I shook my head.
He frowned, and a crease formed between his brows. “Why not?”
I shrugged and dropped my gaze back down to my tray of untouched food.
“Please? If you don’t come in there, I’m coming out here, and I really fucking hate to eat in the heat.”
I lifted my eyes back to meet his, and this time I frowned. Why would he come out here? I was fine. I had a book. No one at that table wanted me there. Especially Brady. I held up my book to show him, and then I put it back down.