Home > Thoughtful (Thoughtless #1.5)(7)

Thoughtful (Thoughtless #1.5)(7)
Author: S.C. Stephens

Well, of course she was.

I instantly locked my eyes onto the fans in front of me and amped up my seduction of them. I even reached out to touch a few of them, since they were safe. Denny’s girlfriend was not safe. I could not be having thoughts about her. It was inappropriate on so many levels. I may on occasion have slept with girls who were in committed relationships, because who was I to judge what someone decided to do with their body, but I wouldn’t do that to Denny. He was my brother. My family. The only real family I had in this world, besides my band.

Missing my long-gone friend, I looked up to make eye contact with him. I wanted to make sure he got his key, make sure he was settled, maybe even give him a quick wave, even though I was still singing. I spotted him clutching the girl’s hand, and a smile broke out through my words. Denny looked older, for sure, but he still had that youthfulness about him that made me want to reach out and give him a noogie. The innocence on his face, in his smile, warmed my heart. I’d do anything for this guy. Give my life for him if necessary.

Denny’s girlfriend—Kiera, if I remembered correctly—was gazing up at him like he was the moon and stars to her. I let go of my initial attraction and smiled over their relationship. He was clearly happy with her, and it was obvious they were in love. I pushed back my own desires and only let my happiness for him shine through. I gave him a small wave as the song ended, and he lifted his chin and raised his key to let me know he had it.

Hating to break eye contact with the friend I was itching to catch up with, I quickly glanced at Matt and gave him the okay to start the next song. The job came first, especially when I was onstage. The song Matt started playing was one of my favorites. It was also one of the most painful songs for me. I had written it about my parents. It was sort of my plea for them to love me. Too little. Too late. They never had, and now that they were gone, they never would. I still sang it almost every night though. Hopeless as it was, I couldn’t stop trying to win their affection.

For a moment, I was so lost in the words and the painful memories that everything else faded into the background. Then I found my gaze wandering to Kiera. She was leaving the bar with Denny. She glanced back at me at the last minute though. Lips parted, her expression was awed as she watched me cut open my heart and bleed out all over the stage. Maybe it was the lights, but I could have sworn her eyes were watering, like she understood that this song was painful for me. That I had to fight against my throat constricting with every syllable. That the only reason I could sing it at all was because of endless rehearsals and performances. For the first time in a long time, I was looking at someone who saw me. Not the rock star, not the playboy, but me. The real me. And for the first time in a long time, terror crawled up my spine. Kiera shivered, like she also shared my fear, then she disappeared with Denny.

This girl…she’d already made an impression, and I hadn’t even been introduced to her yet. The three of us all living together could be an incredible, eye-opening experience. Or it could be a living nightmare. Either way, it was definitely going to be interesting.

Chapter 3

Glad You’re Back

The sun was blinding, and a surge of panic raced through me. It was morning. Denny was leaving.

Feeling dread circling around me, I rushed to Denny’s bedroom. His door was closed. Was he still asleep? He didn’t answer when I lightly rapped on it, so I knocked harder. “Denny?” When he didn’t respond, I cracked his door open. “Denny?” The room was completely empty, and my voice echoed back to me. He was gone? But I hadn’t said goodbye…

I ran down the stairs, yelling at my parents to wait for me. No one was there though, and nothing but silence answered me. I checked every room in the house, but I was completely alone. In a daze, I stared at the front door. They’d left without me. My parents had stolen my final goodbye to the best friend I’d ever had. Those fucking assholes. Hot tears stung my eyes. That was just like them to steal any moment of happiness from me that they could. I was probably never going to see Denny again.

Just as that thought pounded through my brain, I heard a car pull into the driveway. Overwhelmed with guilt and anger, I screamed at my father when he stepped through the front door. “How could you leave without letting me say goodbye!”

When I stepped within range, the back of Dad’s hand lashed out and bashed my jaw. I tasted blood in my mouth, and it surprised me so much I fell to the ground. I’d gotten used to Dad backing off with Denny around. I’d grown complacent…comfortable. But Denny wasn’t around anymore. I was on my own.

When I peered up at Dad, he had a look on his face that bordered on happiness. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to do that?” he asked, his voice gruff.

Beginning to tremble, I scooted back until my spine was against the wall. “I’m sorry,” I immediately sputtered. How could I forget what he was really like so quickly?

Dad narrowed his eyes, then slowly and methodically removed his belt. I felt like I was going to be sick as I watched him, and knowing that I couldn’t run, that I had nowhere to go, nowhere to hide, made tears haze my vision.

While Mom stood behind Dad with apathetic eyes, he calmly said, “It seems to me that you got off easy while we had company. You flaunted our leniency…tested us, abused our kindness. You made us look like fools.” His voice heated and his face darkened. When the belt was free of his slacks, he folded it in two. Grabbing each end, he snapped the leather, making a horrible crack that I knew was going to hurt like hell.

Shaking my head, I murmured, “I’m sorry.”

He ignored me. Stepping right in front of me, he bit out, “Did you think we’d let you get away with that kind of insolence forever? Did you think there wouldn’t be a price to pay for your actions? There’s always a price, Kellan. And it’s high time you learned that.”

I woke up with a start, my chest heaving, my heart racing. With shaking fingers, I raked a hand through my hair. You would think the nightmares would stop once the people who had inspired them were dead, but that wasn’t the case. I frequently had bad dreams, some based on reality, some founded in fantasy. The one that had just startled me to alertness was real. It had happened just like that. My parents had taken Denny away while I’d been sleeping, and when I’d chewed Dad out when they’d returned, Dad had made up for all the times he hadn’t hit me that year. He’d left me bruised and bloody; just breathing had hurt.

That was the day I’d decided to run away the minute I graduated. I’d decided to run away and never look back. Only, I had. I’d looked back, and I’d come back, because in the end, regardless of how they’d treated me while they were alive, they were still my parents, and I couldn’t not say goodbye to them.

Feeling slow and sort of dazed as I shook off the remnants of my dream, I climbed out of bed. I needed water. I pulled open my slightly cracked door, and there in front of me was a sight that made all thoughts of my nightmare evaporate.

Denny’s girlfriend, Kiera, was exiting the bathroom that was tucked between the two bedrooms. She’d apparently just taken a shower, and she had one of my thin, tiny towels wrapped around her body. The scant material didn’t leave a whole lot to the imagination. She had it tight around her chest, but there was a gap between the bottom edges of the towel that ran right up to above her hip bone. And it was quite possibly the sexiest hip bone I’d ever seen.

Scratching a sudden itch on my chest, I let out a lazy yawn and forcefully shoved that thought to the far corners of my mind. Nope, not this girl.

She seemed shocked to see me. Or maybe it was how she was seeing me that was shocking to her. My presence shouldn’t be surprising. I did live here, after all. Her eyes were wide as they took me in, starting at my messy head of sandy-brown hair and lingering on my exposed abs. It took a lot of willpower, but I stopped myself from becoming even the tiniest bit aroused by her inspection. Denny would not like the idea of his girlfriend giving me a woody, although I didn’t think he could fault me for being human.

Now that she was so close to me, I could see she had hazel eyes. Beautiful eyes. I’d never seen a pair quite that color; they seemed alive, shifting and changing in the light. I had the strongest desire to take her outside so I could watch the browns and greens flux and deepen in the sunlight. I supposed that wouldn’t be appropriate at the moment though, especially given the fact that we hadn’t even been introduced yet. Well, that was something I could rectify.

Tilting my head, I said, “You must be Kiera.”

I was about to tell her my name was Kellan when she awkwardly extended her hand, like she wanted me to shake it. “Yes…hi,” she mumbled. Her attempt to be formal while wearing only a towel made me want to laugh, but she seemed really embarrassed about the situation, so I only gave her a small smile as I took her hand. Her palm was warm, soft with moisture from her recent shower. The contact was so pleasant, I could have held on to her for a lot longer, but I let go.

Her chest flushed with color and she shifted her weight like she really wanted to turn around and run. Instead of fleeing, she said, “You’re Kellan?” I could almost see her mentally kicking herself for asking me that. Process of elimination would tell her who I was. She was awkward, shy, adorable, and beautiful. A deadly combination. Denny was a lucky man.

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