Sebastian snagged a bottle of sparkling water and set it on the kitchen island by the fruit basket. He checked the pantry, and yes, she’d stored all the gourmet peanut butters there, in a line, in front of anything else on the shelf. Each one had been opened for more than just a sample.
He passed her the chocolate raspberry, then pulled a knife from the block. He sliced an apple and handed a piece to her. “What is it about peanut butter that calls to a person regardless of income level?”
She scooped it through the gourmet mix. “Must be something to do with tapping into memories from when we were little.”
More so than she could have realized. Damn. It was one helluva a time to dredge up childhood memories. But talking about Kyle was a lot easier than even thinking about Sophie, especially since he had to believe that his brother was fine.
His knife slowed along the apple. “Kyle and I used to eat peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches when we were kids.”
She looked up, surprise widening her eyes before a sheen of tears hovered on her lids. “You two have always been close.”
“More so when we were younger, before we got caught up in our careers.”
He paused, waiting for the snappy comeback about him putting his job above everything else. But for once, she didn’t take the shot. His shoulders relaxed, and he hadn’t realized until that moment he’d even tensed them.
“This one time when we were about nine and ten, we spent most of the summer playing in a forest behind our house. Well, it seemed like a forest, anyway. It was probably just a few trees with a walking path.”
He sliced piece after piece from the apple until only the core remained. “We hung out there all day long. We’d pack peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches, take a gallon jug of Kool-Aid. And we dug tunnels.”
“Tunnels?” She leaned forward on her elbows, intent and ever elegant even in a sheet.
“We dug deep trenches, laid plywood over the top, then piled a layer of dirt over that.” The fun of those times wrapped around him again. “We were lucky we didn’t die crawling around in there. We could have suffocated. Or our whole roofing could have given way if someone had unknowingly stepped on one of those boards.”
“What did your mother say?”
“She never knew.” No doubt she would have grounded both of them for all of eternity, and they’d deserved it. They were too fearless as kids. Kyle was still too damn reckless for his own good. “We made Jonah stand guard and let us know if she was coming.”
“What did you have to pay him to get him to go along with that?”
“Who said we paid him?” Chuckling, he pitched the apple core in the trash. “He’s the youngest. He did what we said.”
Her gentle smile warmed her eyes and the room. “And Matthew?”
“He’s too much of a rule follower. We never let him in on the secret.” He tried to make light of the memory, but still, it sucked him under. “Kyle was especially into it. I should have known then he would go into the military.”
Marianna slid off the bar stool and slipped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his bare chest. Concern for his brother damn near choked him, but no way in hell was he going to let it cripple him. Especially not in front of Marianna.
He glided his hands up and down her back, trying to keep himself in check when he wanted nothing more than to try and recapture some of that forgetfulness she offered. She tipped her head up to press a kiss against his neck, her arms clenching tighter around him. The lump in his throat grew larger. He had to do something and do it fast, or she would cut him right open.
Sealing his mouth to hers before she could blindside him by saying something sympathetic, Sebastian cupped her bottom and lifted her against him. Pleasing her would most definitely please him.
Marianna wanted to sink back into their old habit of losing themselves in sex. Falling into an old pattern was so much easier than forging a new one. His story about playing with Kyle still twisted her already vulnerable heart.His hands low on her buttocks, he lifted her, setting her onto the island. The sheet slithered from her shoulders to pool around her h*ps in a cool glide against rapidly heating flesh. The silence of their house swelled around them, reminding her of how lonely the past months had been.
“Hey there, you,” Marianna said, more to chase away the silence than to talk. “You lost the race to the kitchen. You were supposed to feed me while nak*d.”
“So take them off,” he whispered against her ear.
She thumbed along the waistband of his boxers with a snap, then sketched her hands up to his defined pecs, honed from hours on the water and golf course. She brushed her cheek across the sprinkling of bristly hair on his chest, kissing and blowing dry paths down to his stomach and back up again with teasing restraint.
Staring straight into his heavy-lidded eyes, she teased along the elastic in his boxers again. She hooked her thumbs in his waistband, scratching a light trail over his h*ps until the underwear slipped down his legs. His low growl of appreciation urged her to continue.
He kicked the boxers aside, molding their bodies flush against each other. Marianna couldn’t contain her moan of pleasure at the sensation of skin against skin.
Sebastian pressed his forehead to hers. “You can’t know how good you feel.”
She slid her hands along his five o’clock shadow and up to cradle his face. “I think I do because it’s probably much the same as how you feel against me.”
He sealed his mouth to hers and nudged her knees apart. He stepped closer, the throbbing length of his arousal pressing against her slick core. She wriggled, sending sparks through her, showering faster than she would have expected after the pleasure he’d already brought her tonight.
His hand trailed lower, dipped, teasing the bundled center of nerves, launching her over the first threshold too soon, too fast, scaring her a little with how much power he held over her responses. She couldn’t imagine being with anyone else, which left only the option of working things out with Sebastian—or being alone for the rest of her life.
Then a second wave of pleasure ripped through her, stealing her ability to think, to doubt. Tremors shook through her, convulsing her fingers around the hot length of him tearing mingling groans from them both.
Settling himself more firmly against her, Sebastian slid inside with a tantalizing slowness. Deeper, he filled her. Her eyes drifted closed and she arched her back, feeling her body stretch with a pleasurable ache as she accommodated him. Hooking her ankles behind his waist, she savored being joined with him again, having as much of him as she wanted tonight.
And tomorrow? She couldn’t let the chilling thought encroach on what she felt right now. And she did feel so much.
When he didn’t move, Marianna looked up into his face. She wished she hadn’t. Sebastian’s blue eyes sparked familiar intensity that unsettled her all the way down to her painted toenails. He hadn’t changed any more than she had, and foolishly, she still wanted him.
Marianna buried her face in his neck and rocked her h*ps until he joined in the rhythm. Relentlessly, he drove her to the brink and then slowed. Taking her there again, he hurtled her over with a force that ripped cries of release just before he followed her into the explosion of sensation.
She sagged limply against him, gasping for breath, losing track of how long they stayed locked that way before he gathered her into his arms. Marianna relaxed against his chest all the way up the stairs and into the bedroom they’d once shared.
He placed her on the bed again gently. His back to her, he set the alarm clock. For work?
Then she remembered the bump on her head and the doctor’s orders to wake her up every two hours. The car wreck seemed like days ago, so much had happened in such a short time. She hadn’t thought of the tender spot on her scalp since coming home.
Marianna stared at the gossamer shadows flickering across her bedroom ceiling as the moonlight filtered through her lacy canopy. The cloudy shadows danced across the spackling, shifting, merging, changing, just like her turbulent life. Turning her head on the pillow, she gazed at the cause of her turmoil sleeping beside her.
She couldn’t escape the niggling doubts grabbing hold in her mind, threatening what little ground she and Sebastian had found here tonight. When he’d carried her up to the bedroom again, she’d seen the computer screen glowing and knew she hadn’t left it on. She didn’t have to ask if he’d been working.
Marianna pressed a hand to her stomach, visualizing her—their—child. She wanted this baby, needed him or her. She just wasn’t sure how to handle the father, this complex man who evoked tantalizing whispers of emotions she’d thought were lost to her.
The ringing telephone jarred Marianna awake. Reality blazed through her as brightly as the early morning sunlight slanting through the blinds.The phone rang again. With information about Kyle?
She reached beside her to shake Sebastian awake. Her hand smacked through empty space before thumping the mattress. Where was he? Back at work on the computer again?
She rolled to grab the phone just as the ringing stopped. The light on the handset showed another receiver was in the use somewhere else, the caller ID confirming the call had come from his mother’s house.
Sebastian wasn’t gone. Relief seeped through her even as she worried about Kyle. She scraped away the covers and snatched her silk robe from the closet. Whichever way the conversation went, she needed to be with Sebastian when he heard the news.
She yanked the tie closed around her waist and started down the hall toward the stairs. The nearby sound of Sebastian’s voice slowed her feet. She turned to follow the sound, not far, coming from…
Sophie’s old bedroom.
Her stomach clenched tight at the thought of his stepping into that room of tiny roses, ruffles and memories. Had he simply gone in there because it was closest when the phone rang? That had to be the case, because Lord knew he had never set foot over that threshold since the day Sophie left their lives.
She paused in the open doorway, her bare toes curling on the cool hardwood floor. She studied his profile as he sat in the rocking chair where they’d both wiled away nights soothing Sophie back to sleep.
“Uh-huh…” Sebastian spoke into the receiver. “That’s great news, General. And when will Kyle be able to call?”
She sagged against the door frame in relief. His brother must be fine. Thank God. She kept her eyes on Sebastian, not yet ready to look around the space she’d decorated with love and hope. Still every detail of the vintage cabbage rose nursery stayed in her mind from the glistening cherry wood furniture to the yellow and pink patterns.
Even Sophie’s sweet scent remained in her memory long past when it faded from the room—baby detergent mingled with mild soap. She swallowed down a lump swelling from her chest to her throat and focused on Sebastian.
His head nodded in time with whatever the General was saying. “Thanks for calling. Make sure Mom tells him I’m glad those trench digging skills of his worked out so well.”
A half smile tugged at his face in spite of the weary hunch of his shoulders.