“Was there somewhere else you wanted to go?”
“Oh no. I just…” She broke off and laughed. “I am extremely curious to see where you live, I admit.”
“Yeah? I hope you won’t be disappointed with how normal it is, then. It’s the house I grew up in. I try not to deface it too much.”
“Ah. Family home.”
“When my parents died, Nana moved down from Oklahoma to take care of us so we wouldn’t be uprooted after what happened. After we all grew up, my brother was the first to take off, so that left me and my older sister. Nana moved back to Oklahoma after she saw Steph and I weren’t going to starve or wander aimlessly into the street. Not every day, anyway.” He threw her a grin. “Steph’s a mother-hen type too.”
She chuckled at his light-heartedness, but it sounded…lonely. Of course, she’d been surrounded by family all her life. Family and more friends than she knew what to do with. And the rodeo, though, all that had changed…
“But doesn’t your sister live in Oklahoma now?”
“She was visiting Nana a few years back, and she met a guy. Moved up there, got married. Has two boys.”
“Aw, Uncle Ghost.” She gave him a playful pinch on the arm.
“I miss those guys, too. I really got to know them while I was staying there. I need to get back up there soon.”
“Did you ever think of moving there yourself?”
“Not really. The whole time I was there, I couldn’t wait to get back.”
She didn’t have to know him well at all to see the sadness that came over him when he mentioned his nana. He tried to hide it. He did it well. But even if it was only a split-second faltering in his expression or the briefest flicker of grief in his eyes, she caught it. She honestly didn’t know how he was putting up such an amazing front. Laughing with her, flirting and talking dirty… Was he only trying to forget what was going on one state to the north?
His right hand was resting on the gearshift. Macy reached over and placed hers on top of it. “It’s really bad, isn’t it?”
He was a long time answering. She watched his throat muscles constrict as he swallowed. “It’s bad.”
“I’m so sorry. We don’t even—”
“No, stop right there. The thing about Nana is she’s more full of life than anyone I’ve ever known. And so genuinely good. To leave the life she’d made, and move down here to take care of us when she was grieving too… I don’t know that I could do it, you know? I can just hear her in my head telling me not to worry about her, to go on living. It isn’t that I don’t worry about her, but… Oh, shit.” He rubbed his eyes hard with his thumb and forefinger.
“What? Please tell me.”
His discomfort was palpable. He rubbed the back of his neck, checked the mirrors unnecessarily. She began to think he wasn’t going to answer, and she would have to accept that. But then he surprised her. “A few months back, she was having a good day, and I told her all about you. I have a picture on my phone I took of me and you when we were goofing around back when we first started hanging out, remember? The one where we’re making stupid faces. She looked at it, and then looked at me and asked me what in the hell I was doing there talking to her when I should be here chasing after you. That’s the kind of person she is. She really means it.” He hit the blinker and sighed. “That’s one of the last lucid conversations we had. All about you.”
Macy gazed at his profile in such silent amazement, she hardly noticed when he pulled into a driveway and braked to a halt. Once he’d shifted into park, he reclaimed her hand and laced his fingers through hers. “I can’t say that’s what I came back for, though. My sister encouraged me to go home for a while, and I felt like I needed to check on things around the house, see my friends, get back to my music, just be. But I’ve thought it’s pretty damn funny the way things work out. If you knew Nana, you’d know she almost always gets her way.” He brought her hand up, brushing her knuckles with his lips. “Here I am, chasing after you.”
She opened her mouth, but the words weren’t there. Whether it was terror or elation that held them captive, she didn’t know.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. Oh God. Warmth pricked the back of her eyes, and she wanted to run. Wanted to stay. Because his lips were warm and full and wonderful, and she wanted them all over her body. Right now.
She lunged for him, and the voluptuousness of his mouth on hers sent her stomach into a free fall. It wasn’t unlike the dizzying high of riding full gallop, and she hadn’t allowed herself to do that in so very long…
Gasping for air, she pulled back, her heart slamming in her chest.
“What’s the matter?” he breathed, leaning in and trying to recapture her. She let him, unable to resist. Just like the first night, just like every night they’d been together since. Unable to resist. Knowing she should. Helpless whimpers escaped her throat. His tongue slipped into her mouth. He let go of her hand, and she wrapped her arms around his neck while he smoothed his hand up her ribs and found her breast, squeezing gently through her layers of clothing.
Why did her body have to respond like this to him? Why couldn’t it have craved Jared’s touch this much? She never would have left if it had. Under Seth’s hands, she came alive. She unfurled, smoothed out, blossomed. He felt so right, even when everything else was so wrong.
“Let’s go inside,” he murmured against her lips. Macy couldn’t imagine letting him go, but she figured if she didn’t, they would only have another bout of vehicular sex. Nodding, she leaned back when he released her. “Sit tight.”
As he made the quick journey around to open her door, she gazed up at the house in front of her. Very pretty, traditional beige brick with gables. She slid from her seat after he popped open the door, taking a glance around. Nice enough neighborhood with similar houses cramped together along both sides of the street. Quiet. Most of the lights were already out; she had the feeling they’d been out for hours.
“I take it you can’t play your music very loud here.”
He closed the door, grinned and tugged her toward the front porch. “Might explain why I don’t hang out here that often.”
There was a chill in the air tonight, exacerbated by the heat she’d just felt in his car, in his arms. She shivered impatiently in her coat while he unlocked the front door, and then he was pulling her inside and pushing her against the wall, and there was nothing but him, his kiss, the strength of his body overpowering hers. She grabbed his collar and matched his ferocity with her own. When his lips left hers to kiss a hot path to her neck, she turned her head and noticed the still-open door.
“Seth…the door…”
“It’s dark.”
“You can’t—”
“Shut up, Macy.”
Damn herself for ever telling him she needed someone to shut her up. Then again, she thought as he pushed her skirt up her hips, it might have been one of the most beneficial requests she’d ever made. His fingers, still cool from the outside chill, seared the burning flesh between her legs, and her knees buckled. She grabbed on to his shoulders to hold herself up.
“So hot,” he said, brushing his mouth back and forth across hers in that devastatingly erotic way he had. “So f**king hot, Macy…” Big hands slid under her ass and lifted, planting her back hard against the wall. She wrapped her legs around his hips, arched into him and practically purred. He had to let go of her to unzip his pants, and she clung on haphazardly, praying he would hurry.
Five feet to their left, the front door still stood wide open, and a chilly breeze brushed her left thigh. Out on the street, a car cruised slowly by, and she gasped, though being seen wasn’t even a remote possibility.
Who was she kidding? At the moment, she might not care if someone walked up to the door and watched. His cock, in all its fully erect glory, slid along her damp panties, abrading her cl*t through the lace. Her grip on him tightened in desperation. One tiny shift in position and he’d be able to…
“Condom,” she gasped. Holy crap, they couldn’t forget. He’d already impregnated one girl, for God’s sake.
“Fuck.” Whirling her around, he deposited her on a nearby couch while she tried to get her bearings in the pitch-black room. He was nothing but his darker shadow looming over her, but she could see him swiftly pluck his wallet and pull the little packet out. As soon as he had it over the tip, she reached up with both hands and unrolled it down his swollen length. He released a shuddering breath, barely seeming to hold himself in check long enough for her to accomplish the task. She expected him to fall on her when she finished, but he hauled her up by her wrists and put her back in her former position, against the wall.
She laughed, and he chuckled against her throat. “I really wanted to do it like this,” he said.
“I really wanted you to.”
“Naughty girl.” His fingers, gripping her cheeks, crept inward to pull her panties aside. She groaned and panted as he tested her wetness and then positioned himself with a growl that sounded more animal than human. Without wearing a stitch less clothing than she’d had on two minutes ago, she was about to have sex against a wall. In front of an open door. That was a first.
“Oh!” The blunt intrusion whipped all thought out of her head, had her climbing him in an initial effort to escape the burning stretch as their breath mingled. His grip on her tightened, not letting her get away. She whimpered as he went deeper than her overly greedy body was ready for.
“Jesus,” he muttered and kissed her, slow and melting. All at once, her muscles seemed to respond in kind, relaxing around him, going liquid. He slid inside until she was held tight to his groin. An exhale of relief escaped her. When he began to move, it wasn’t with the urgency she expected given their rushed beginnings. It was with a slow deliberation that would destroy her.
“Seth, oh God…”
It was a good thing he was strong enough to hold her; she had no strength. She constricted around him, tighter and tighter, and she knew he felt it from the sounds he made. Sharp pleasure sparked in the front of her belly and glowed outward until nothing existed but the feel of him inside of her and the taste of him in her mouth. Heat. She turned her head toward the breeze coming in from the open door, hoping to find some relief for her flaming cheeks. Another car eased by out on the street. Seth sucked on the side of her neck, and she smiled at nothing in particular.
The fear, the need to run that had gripped her out in the car…it was still there, somewhat. And it was too late. If she’d wanted to flee from Seth Warren and everything he made her feel, she should have done it from the first moment she’d met him. She shouldn’t have let him anywhere near her. Every time they were together, he chipped away at her resolve. That very first night last year, she hadn’t been able to not run away from it afterward. Now, she didn’t think she could do it if she tried.