Hadn’t he been thinking it the previous morning? Reality cut through him like a knife. As much as he wanted to protect her from men like Rawlings, she was not his to protect.
“Fine,” he said aloud. After all, it would be better for him to hunt for a potential wife in the country where society’s rules weren’t so rigid. He was a duke, for crying out loud. His search for a wife would be easy. Much like sitting ducks at a pond, each potential bride waiting to be picked off by a pistol.
He grinned.
“That look makes me uncomfortable,” Sara whispered to Nicholas who elbowed her.
“What look?” Sebastian asked, meeting their gazes.
“The sly one that indicates you have something up your sleeve. The same look you had on your face when you tried to put bull frogs in Rawlings’ room at Eton.”
“That was one time, and you took a blood oath!” Sebastian roared.
Nicholas rolled his eyes. “It’s not as if you got caught, but now that I think on it, you’ve never been an admirer of Rawlings. Any particular reason for that, old friend?”
Oh, let me think. His stupidity. Lack of intelligence. His heinous tendency to bed all the women he meets. “No, no reason,” he said automatically turning his attention to Emma, who had gone quiet during the exchange.
Sara rang for tea and sat next to Emma, most likely making plans for the trip. They would depart after their “special ball.” The plan was to announce their engagement at the ball they had promised then go on to the house party and do some spying to see whom they would like to match with. That would give Sebastian enough time to set his trap. Anyone worth knowing would be aware of his and Emma’s relationship before the house party commenced. It would work perfectly.
Chapter Nine
Emma watched them exchange ideas for the upcoming announcement at the ball as well as the house party. She was grateful Sara had taken it upon herself to iron out the details of the next few days. If everything went as planned, they would go to the ball in two days and announce the impending engagement, running off as many would-be suitors as possible, all the while hunting for the type of person she and Sebastian would like to marry.
Why was it that any talk of marriage left Emma with visions of Sebastian’s smiling face? It wasn’t fair. In fact, it was entirely unfair that she would form such a friendship with a man she could never have. It wasn’t just that he was a duke. It was that he was so good.
His reputation alone was spotless. The fact she was spending time with him made her nervous that somehow her disgrace would rub off on him, as if she was some sort of disease.
Her parents’ behavior toward her only encouraged her foreboding thoughts. When was the last time she had actually been accepted anywhere on their large country estate? Everywhere she walked people whispered, as if they would somehow catch her sin. It didn’t matter that she was innocent.
The damage had been done.
And she had to live with it the rest of her life.
Sara nudged her in the side, shaking her from the silent contemplation. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”
“What’s wrong?” Sara asked. “You aren’t acting like yourself?”
Sebastian walked over. “You mean she isn’t acting overly confident and aggravating?”
“Sebastian St. James!” Sara snapped. “Go irritate someone else. We are making plans for the week. If you’re just going to eavesdrop and hurl insults while you drink whiskey, then you are free to leave.”
Sebastian looked to Nicholas, who merely shrugged. “My wife has spoken.”
“Fine, I’ll go in search of young Samuel. Perhaps he will talk with me.”
****
Sebastian stormed out of the room, though he was careful to maintain a passive composure as he walked by Emma. She lifted an eyebrow in response then turned away. Once he reached the outer hall, he felt somewhat lost. What in the blazes had he been thinking? Storming out of there in search of a small child? Nicholas probably thought he’d completely lost it. The truth of the matter was Sebastian couldn’t control his feelings when he was around Emma. Never had a woman frightened him as much as she did. It was impossible to know what she was actually thinking. The little minx had even challenged his challenge. As if he weren’t a duke at all but…Normal.
Frowning, he ascended the stairs. Is that what he thought of himself? That he was above others, not normal? Certainly not, and he hadn’t in his life ever wanted to be recognized for being above others. It was his life’s purpose to show kindness to everyone, so why was it so important to him that Emma see him as more? Why did his title only matter now?
Because then you could force her to desire you as much as you desire her.
The thought made his head snap to attention. No, that couldn’t be it. He wouldn’t let it. He steadied himself on the railing of the stairs. Imagine marrying that girl? She would drive him to drink more than he already did. There would be no sane moments! His life would be…
Unpredictable.
It would be perfect.
He groaned as his heavy footsteps carried him down the hall to Samuel's room. “Anyone in there?” he called.
Samuel’s nurse came to the door and curtseyed. “Your grace, Samuel is just over on the floor drawing pictures.”
“With paint?” Sebastian stepped around her, ready to reprimand Samuel for getting paint all over creation. What he saw surprised him. He turned to the nurse but she had already left. Samuel was sitting quietly in the corner bent over a painting with his little tongue sticking out between his lips.
He actually looked…tame. Though Sebastian would never say it out loud for fear it would jinx him and he wouldn’t have another quiet moment with the boy ever again.
“What are you drawing?” he asked, taking a seat next to the small boy.
“Miss Emma.” Samuel had used red for her hair.
Of course it was Sebastian’s rotten luck that the one person he was trying to escape was the object of the boy’s affection as well.
“She’s sad,” Samuel said, blowing on the picture. “Her heart is sad.”
Sebastian felt a chill run over his body. “What’s your meaning, Samuel? Did you see Emma cry?”
Samuel grinned. “No, Miss Emma doesn’t cry.”
The ramblings of a five-year-old would never make sense to Sebastian. In his experience children were either extremely brilliant or incredibly confusing. He knew Samuel to be the first, but now it seemed he was turning out to be just like every other child in his acquaintance.
“It’s her face,” Samuel said.
“What’s her face?”
“Look!” Samuel pointed at the picture while his free hand reached up and pulled on Sebastian’s hair, bringing his head further down to the drawing.
It was what one would expect a five-year-old to draw, except the eyes were blue and the face, albeit a little unsettling, held no smile. It was as if Emma were staring right through him.
Samuel sighed loudly. “You don’t see it.”
“It’s a pretty picture,” Sebastian said politely.
Samuel looked up at Sebastian and removed his hand. “You have to make Miss Emma happy.”
“I’ll try.” His heart clenched, it felt as if he had just been given a word from God. “Make this woman happy, and don’t let Me down.” How did little children manage to squeeze under your skin so effectively?
Sebastian, still meditating on the musings of a five-year-old, didn’t even notice Samuel leave. It was probably best. Rising, he walked out of Samuel's room and down the hall to his temporary room.
His sister had arrived a few days ago, and with her a gaggle of young girls and theatrics he wanted no part of. At least he had a place where he could be away from them. And yet he wondered what was worse. His sister and her friends or the temptress named Emma Gates. Maybe the house party would be just the ticket. He needed more than Nicholas and Sara’s judging eyes, lest he forget his own room and sneak into Emma’s instead.
The more he thought about it, the better it sounded. The house party would throw a delightful twist into Sebastian’s plans. Although it would be at Rawlings’ house, which was less than ideal, it would be the rest he needed from the peering eyes of those around him. He did not want to let his grandmother down, knowing full well she expected him to marry this year. He set his mind to putting thoughts of Emma aside.
His reputation, having an heir, making his deceased parents proud...those were the things that matter. Not, he lamented, what Emma was wearing or what she would look like after he made love to her.
Shaking the lustful thoughts from his head, he readied himself for what was to come. A fake betrothal and the hunt for his future bride.
Chapter Ten
Emma awoke the morning of the ball with a feeling of dread. Just how exactly were they going to announce to the ton that she and Sebastian were engaged? And how much research would go into Emma’s background once the announcement was made?
The duchess would most likely weep with tears of joy thinking Emma had taken her advice and seduced her grandson. The opposite was actually true. She felt positively seduced by him. Curse the man for making her feel so alive. It had been only a few days, yet in all their time spent together she was growing more and more attracted to him.
The timing was horrible. For not only was the engagement to be fake, but she was supposed to be picking out Sebastian’s future wife! How in the blazes was she to do that when all she could think about was his kiss?
Yet what other choice did she have? Even if she could seduce him or put him in a compromising situation like the duchess suggested, they could never be together. Her past would destroy their future. Plain and simple.
The last thing she needed was to bring Sebastian down in flames. The mental picture of beautiful Sebastian being socially ostracized because of his attachment to her made her ill, yet he made it sound like it was an absolute foolproof plan. She had nothing to worry about as long as they each stuck to the plan and found mates for one another.
What could possibly go wrong?
Her mind flashed to their shared kisses.
Oh that.
Splendid.
It was just a kiss. So it was two kisses. Or was it three? Her lips burned with the memory as she pushed herself out of bed to ring for tea. Besides, she was a challenge to Sebastian. That had to be it. She was probably the only woman in existence who didn’t get tongue-tied in his presence or try to seduce him at every turn. In fact, Sara hadn’t even felt the need to warn her of Sebastian. When Emma asked at dinner if she should worry about his advances during their fake engagement, Sara had laughed.
Sara said although Sebastian seemed the rakish sort, he would rather perish than attach scandal to his family. Emma had lost her appetite. Mainly because her middle name was scandal. But as long as Sebastian wasn’t aware of that, they would be safe.
“Emma?” Sara knocked on the door twice before entering.
“Good morning!” Emma tried to sound cheerful though she loathed mornings, and because of Sebastian, her brooding thoughts had kept her up until the wee hours of the morning.
“The children are with nurse, and I was wondering if you wanted to visit Lady Fenton and catch up on some gossip.”