She sipped and savored the taste before lowering her glass to look over at Steele, who’d just pushed back his plate.
“Am I allowed to ask you personal questions, or am I supposed to just sleep with you and remain ignorant of everything but your sexual prowess?”
He’d just raised his own glass to take a sip, and he made a choking sound and set the glass back down with a clunk.
“What kind of personal questions?” he asked warily.
She grinned. “I haven’t decided yet. I just wondered if they were off-limits or if you’d actually tell me something nobody else knows about you. It’s a girl thing. We like to think we’re special. Especially if we’re sleeping with the guy.”
His teeth flashed as he relaxed and smiled. “I think it depends on the question.”
“Hmm, okay. Let’s do something general. Tell me about you.”
He blinked. “That covers a hell of a lot of territory. Where do you want me to start?”
She leaned forward. “Do you have family? Are you married—please don’t tell me you’re secretly married and have a wife squirreled away somewhere.”
He shook his head and uttered a sigh. “If you were worried that I was married, wouldn’t that have been a question to ask before I got your clothes off?”
“At the time I wasn’t thinking too straight since you already had your clothes off.”
He chuckled lightly. “No, I’m not married. Never even been close.”
She cocked her head to the side. “Really? So you’ve never been serious about a woman?”
He shook his head. “Nope. My career hasn’t exactly been conducive to forming any lasting relationships.”
She frowned at that. “It sounds kind of lonely, if you ask me.”
He lifted one eyebrow. “What about you? I could say the same for you. At least since I’ve known you. At least I have my team. You’re out here on your own with only your patients to keep you company. Don’t you miss being around people? Dating? Having regular sex?”
“Who says I don’t have all that?”
His eyes narrowed. “Do you?”
She grinned. “No, but it wasn’t very nice to assume that I have no sex life and that I’m practically married to my job.”
He shrugged. “I can’t judge. I’m married to my job absolutely. She’s a fickle bitch too.”
She nodded in acknowledgment. “I hear that. Definitely has its shitty moments, as I’m sure it’s the same for you.”
He raised his glass and clinked it to hers. “Fuckin’ A.”
“So what about family? You weren’t hatched, I’m assuming. Someone had to give birth to you.”
He sobered immediately and darkness flashed in his eyes. “Don’t have family.”
She waited, expecting him to say more. But he just went silent and brooding, his gaze focused in the distance, either remembering or refusing to remember something painful.
“What happened?” she prompted softly.
He glanced back at her, almost as if he’d had to jerk himself from the past. His lips quirked downward into a grimace. “I don’t ever talk about it.”
It was said in a way that told her to back off. But curiosity was killing her. She wanted to unravel the mystery of Steele, and she might never get another chance like this when he was relaxed, warm and open to her. He was being nice. And approachable! She’d never tell anyone because they’d never believe her. They’d likely think she needed psychiatric help.
“You could talk about it now,” she said quietly. “I’m a good listener. And it’s not like I’ll tell anyone. I’m not exactly flush with people to converse with around here.”
He was silent a long moment, his unease broadcasted like a neon sign. She wouldn’t push him any further, but she really hoped he’d open up to her.
Then he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, spiking it up in a messy arrangement that had her dying to smooth it down with her fingers. But if she got close enough to do that, the last thing she’d be wanting to touch was his hair. She’d be too busy with other portions of his anatomy.
“I did have a family. A lifetime ago.”
Her heart clutched at the grief in his voice. It may have been a lifetime ago, but it was obvious the wounds were still raw.
“My dad was an ambassador to Libya. I grew up in the embassy. Me and my brother. Griffin.”
She sucked in her breath, knowing that whatever he was going to tell her was horrible. It was in his tone, in every line of his face and most pronounced in the darkness that had invaded his eyes.
“They were killed in an embassy bombing. A Marine saved my life, but he couldn’t save my parents or my brother. He tried. And then he later apologized to me that he hadn’t been able to save them. I wasn’t angry because he couldn’t save them. I was pissed that he’d saved me.”
“How old were you?”
“Seven.”
“Oh wow,” she whispered. “What happened? Who raised you?”
“My dad’s sister took me in. She was quite a bit older than he was and she was never in great health. She passed away right after I graduated high school.”
“So is that why you do what you do? Because of your parents, I mean?” she guessed.
He shook his head. “Actually I’d always planned to be a doctor.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Really?”
He gave her a crooked grin. “Yeah. I think it’s why I love watching you so much. I was always interested in medicine. But after my aunt died, there was no one to help out and the thought of all those years in medical school not knowing how the hell I’d afford it, well, I joined the service thinking that I’d do my time and have them pay for medical school.”
She leaned farther forward, fascinated by his story. That he’d wanted to be a doctor intrigued her. He would have made an excellent surgeon. So focused and intense. She could definitely picture it.
“Once I got in, I loved it. Everything just clicked.”
“Let me guess. You joined the Marines?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Even though I was pissed at the Marine who saved my life back then, he became my idol as I grew older. Once I got over my initial grief, I was grateful that he’d not only risked so much to save me, but that he’d risked his life and had been injured trying to save my family. His job was to protect my father, but he was willing to give his life for all of us. That made a huge impact. I joined the Marines to honor him. To prove that his saving me meant something and that maybe I could give back. Help someone else.”
“So how did you end up with KGI, then? I mean, if you loved the Marines so much.”
He smiled. “I was at a crossroads. I loved the service. Loved my fellow Marines. But I was restless. Wanted to do more. I just wasn’t sure what. By accident I overheard a conversation about Sam Kelly and that he was recruiting for a private special ops team. I called him and then took leave to meet him. We talked it over and I knew I wanted to give it a shot. So when my time was up two months later, I left and joined KGI. Rio was already there and was leading a team. Sam was forming another and wanted me to lead. I handpicked my own recruits and they trained under me. I’ve never looked back. Never regretted my decision. The Marines made me who I am, but KGI made me better.”
“How old was your brother?” she asked, hoping she wasn’t pushing too hard.
“He was sixteen. Nine years between us. I looked up to him. Wanted to be just like him and my dad. My brother wanted to be a Marine. It was all he talked about. In a way, I did it as much for him as I did for the Marine who saved my life.”
“Sounds like you had a wonderful family and that you grew up around the globe just like I did.”
He smiled. “Yeah, they were the best. My mom was just this warm person that everyone loved. It wasn’t the fake politician polish that so many wives have perfected. She was genuine, the real deal. Everyone who met her was instantly charmed. And she could remember anyone’s name after meeting them once. No matter how long it was before she saw them again. She made everyone feel special. Like they mattered. From the lowest ranked to the highest. Didn’t matter to her. She had a smile for everyone.”
Her heart squeezed a little at the instant warmth that had flooded his eyes when he spoke of his mother. She reached over to lay her hand on top of his, and he immediately turned his palm up so he could capture her fingers.
He stroked over her knuckles with his thumb, sending little tingles of delight up her arm.
“I think it’s also why I like the Kellys so much, even though they kind of baffle me. Especially Marlene. She reminds me a lot of my own mother. It’s a catch-22 for me to be around them, though. I like them a lot. But they also remind me of what I lost.”
“Yeah, I get that,” she said softly. “I don’t know what I’d do without my parents and my brother, even though I don’t see them that often. But if I didn’t have them, it would devastate me. I email them regularly and we try to talk on the phone at least once a week.”
He nodded, continuing to stroke his thumb over her hand. It was nice. Just sitting and talking and him touching her intimately. It wasn’t sexual, but she liked it even better because she got the sense that he cared a little at least.
“What about you? You said you grew up all over the globe. Your parents travel a lot? Were they doctors like you?”
She nodded. “Yeah. They both were. My brother is a doctor too. They worked for an organization for years that offered free healthcare and vaccinations in third world countries. They stopped for a while when my brother and I were younger. We’re only two years apart, so they stayed stateside and went into private practice until we were old enough that they felt comfortable bringing us to some of the rural, far-flung corners of the world.”
“Bet you had one hell of an interesting childhood,” he mused.
“Yeah, it was anything but boring, that’s for sure. My mom homeschooled us, but occasionally we were in places where we could attend classes with other kids our age. My father is smart. I mean he’s a doctor too, but my mom is a genius. She’s positively brilliant. Even my dad admits that she’s way smarter than he is.”
“You must take after her,” he said.
Her cheeks warmed at the compliment but she shook her head. “My brother is the smart one. He has a photographic memory. He can recall even the smallest bit of trivia. He absorbs everything and retains it. I’m absentminded. A trait I inherited from my father, I’m afraid. I’m a bit of a klutz—okay, not just a bit. I’m a total klutz. I space out sometimes because I’m in my head and forget where I am or what I’m doing. And I tend to blurt out whatever’s on my mind, no matter how inappropriate it may be.”
He smiled. “Yeah, I’ve witnessed that part.”
“It gets worse,” she muttered. “I’ve actually been pretty good around you only because you leave me tongue-tied most of the time.”
His eyes flickered in surprise.
“That can’t come as a surprise to you,” she said dryly. “At least not now that you know how attracted I was to you.”
“I knew how I felt about you,” he pointed out. “Not necessarily that you reciprocated my preoccupation. For all I knew, I was just an opportunity for some hot monkey sex, as you put it.”
She laughed and then she leaned forward, leaving one hand in Steele’s grasp and propping her other elbow on the table so she could rest her chin in her upturned palm.
“So what are we doing here, exactly, Steele? I’m not good at coy little games. I suck at flirting or pretending to not want something I desperately want.”
“And what do you want?” he asked quietly.
She shook her head. “Oh no, I asked you first. I may blurt out shit but I’m not that much of a glutton for punishment.”
His chest rose and fell as he expelled a quick breath. “I don’t know, Maren. I haven’t figured it out yet. That’s probably not an answer that’ll win me any brownie points, but the fact is, you’ve knocked me completely off balance.”
“How long are you planning to stay?” she asked, silently holding her breath as she waited for his response.
He looked uncertain for the first time. Almost as if he were nervous, though she couldn’t fathom anything making this man nervous.
“I have a few days,” he hedged. “But if you need me out of your hair before then, just say the word and I’ll take off.”
“I don’t believe I said anything about wanting you to leave,” she said lightly. “But I don’t want to make an ass of myself and ask you to stay if you had no intention of spending more than a night with me. Not fond of humiliating myself in front of a guy I’ve been lusting over.”