The Jinn King growled at Jai’s news. “I have much to do. I will be back soon.” And with that he erupted into a rainbow of beautiful fire, disappearing into the Peripatos, leaving them behind in hushed silence.
As soon as he was gone Ari sensed the energy of another Jinn from above her. Ms. Maggie was in her room. The thought of how different life was now since the last time Ms. Maggie had lived with her caused a ripping pain across her chest and she pressed a hand there as if that could staunch the invisible bleed.
“You’re telling me it doesn’t bother you to have some invisible chick in this house?” Charlie asked softly.
“Stop saying chick,” Ari replied irritably.
“Fine. I’ll stop if you talk to me. In private.”
Ari shot a look at Jai but he appeared indifferent. He walked away from them and sat down, pulling a book out of nowhere. She didn’t even glance at the title, still too busy being annoyed with him. “I’m not apologizing,” he said without looking up.
Mind reader, she growled.
Child.
Jerk.
He sighed inside her head. Was it not enough for you to break one rule today, Ari? Now another one. He lifted his eyes from the pages of his book and there was a softness in them she hadn’t been expecting. I don’t want to argue with you. Not today.
Then apologize.
I have nothing to apologize for. You disobeyed an order and you were almost kidnapped.
“Jesus Christ,” Charlie snapped. “Will you two stop doing that creepy mind talk crap for just two seconds so Ari and I can talk?”
“That’s up to Ari,” Jai replied blandly, leaning casually back in his chair. His next words were anything but casual, “But maybe she’s not up to talking, kid. It’s been a rough day.”
Before Charlie could fly at him for calling him ‘kid’, Ari placed a placating hand on Charlie’s arm. “It’s OK. We should talk.” She turned, ignoring Jai the jerk, and headed upstairs.
As soon as she opened her bedroom door she sensed Ms. Maggie and smiled sadly. “Ms. Maggie. It’s good to have you back.”
Her computer chair squeaked and Ari looked at it, assuming that was Ms. Maggie’s way of saying hello. Perhaps because she’d never felt so alone before and was still learning how to be alone, Ari had this sudden urge to throw herself into the Ifrit’s invisible arms. Ms. Maggie could make herself corporeal when she wanted to. Would she do that to hug Ari?
You’re getting weird and morbid, she scolded herself. Wanting to hug a ghost. It was like a tragic Dickens’ story.
“I know you just got back, but could you give me and Charlie some privacy. We just need to have a quick talk.”
Three seconds later the bedroom door shut behind them and Ari felt the Ifrit’s energy disappear downstairs. She kind of liked the thought of Ms. Maggie mischievously watching Jai and he having no clue she was there. Sensing Jinn hidden within the Cloak was one of Ari’s gifts. It came with being the Seal. As far as she knew other Jinn didn’t have that ability.
Charlie was eyeing the closed door. He raised an eyebrow and turned to her, his face still covered with sweat-streaked grime from the fight. “And that doesn’t freak you out?”
Ari shrugged. “Not really.” It really didn’t. It was comforting.
“OK.” He shook his head and then looked at her. Really looked at her. Charlie’s dark eyes instantly melted as they searched her face and Ari went to war with herself. Half of her tingled under his soulful appraisal and the other half was hardening against him. “Are you OK, Ari? After the funeral, the attack… everything?”
“I’m getting there.”
“I didn’t mean to yell at you earlier. I was just… worried about you.”
She nodded, not really accepting his ‘apology’ but trying to understand. Seeing his expression fall at her coldness, Ari sighed. Why couldn’t she be distant with him? Why, why, why? Feeling herself crumble a little she said, “I’m glad you were there. Having you there, with Rachel and Staci and everything, even with the fight… well I’m glad you were there.” With each word she had spoken, Charlie had drawn closer. He had this look in his eyes that confused her, and when he moved to press a comforting kiss to her lips Ari dodged him, stepping back. The hardness came back but this time with a strength she hadn’t even known she possessed. It crawled into her features like ice over still water.
Charlie blinked in confusion. “What just happened?”
“I think somewhere along the line you’ve assumed that you and I are…”
A look of astonishment crossed his face and he ran a hand over his now short hair. He made a little huffing noise of bemusement. “Aren’t we?” He stopped at her expression. “I just wanted to make sure we weren’t fighting anymore, but I didn’t think that meant… we weren’t…”
Ari shook her head, gripping tight to that icy calm, her hands slipping on its surface but she struggled to hold on nonetheless. She needed that icy calm. For the first time in her life she wanted to need it more than she needed the boy in front of her. “I love you, Charlie. I always will. But I don’t want to be with you.” She let those words sink in and then said softly, “Let’s just stay friends, OK.”
The hurt that darkened his eyes and made him suck in his breath was almost enough to make her let go of the ice. But the thought of what she’d lost, what her dad had said to her before he died played over in her mind and she held tight.
“Jesus, Ari,” he exhaled and flopped down on the bed. “I don’t understand… I thought… I thought you wanted this just as much as I do?”
She nodded, remembering the longing, the ache he had put in her chest. “I used to.”
A terrible silence fell between them and when he looked up he had tears shimmering in his eyes.
Ari clenched her hands into fists. “The night of my eighteenth birthday I caught you screwing someone in my dad’s bed.”
Charlie’s eyes widened with horror and he shifted, shaking his head. “Ari, I was out of it that night… it was Mike’s anniversary, I was so messed up, I can’t even… I am so sorry… I don’t even remember-”
She held up a hand to silence him. “I didn’t tell you to guilt trip you. I’m just…” she sighed. “I was hurt. It hurt a lot. But I didn’t… react really. And Rachel accused me of not being in love with you.”
“Was she right?” he asked hoarsely and Ari almost wanted to punch him for being so selfish as to be worried that she didn’t care enough to be heartbroken over his drunken escapades.
“Yes and no. I didn’t react. I didn’t react because by then I was kind of numb to you hurting me.”
The color leached from Charlie’s face and he stood up, seeming not sure if he should reach for her. In the end he stopped inches from her, his eyes scanning her face as if desperately searching for something. Forgiveness? Ari inhaled the musky male scent that was all Charlie, his fragrance setting off sparks to her memories. To the pain of being in love with someone as selfishly messed up as he had been. Correction: as he was.
“How screwed up must I be, Charlie? To let someone hurt me over and over and not even see that what he was doing to me was wrong?”
“I told you I was trying to protect you, to keep you away from me. I didn’t want you pulled under with me.”
“But you didn’t let me go!” she cried, all the frustration and sorrow bubbling out of her. “You pushed me away with one hand and pulled me back in with the other.”
For a minute he looked like he might argue and then he shook his head, his expression desperate. “I… I know.” He reached for her now, his hand trailing up her bare arm sending shivers cascading down her spine. “It was selfish and it was cruel. But I love you, Ari. I wanted to protect you but I was too selfish to let you go. I kept hoping one day I would be OK, that I’d be OK for you. I didn’t want to wake up on that day and discover you were gone.”
Those were words Ari had wanted to hear for two years.
And they were two years too late.
She stepped back out of his reach, hating that she could still want him when her mind had decided otherwise. “And now? What’s your excuse now, Charlie? I told you I didn’t want you to be a part of this twisted world and you strolled right up to it and handed your soul over to it!”
Now his face clouded over with anger and he crossed his arms over his chest, seeming taller somehow, more intimidating, unmoving. “That’s nothing to do with us.”
“It has everything to do with us! You know I didn’t want this. I wanted out, but you tied yourself to it. If you really wanted me why would you tie yourself to a world I hate?”
“I-”
“Don’t bother. I already know the answer.” She shook her head, trying not to let the ice crack, to let the pain of his not loving her enough do any more damage. “You want your revenge more than you’ll ever want me.”
“That’s not true.” He shook his head furiously. “Not-” he cut off, his expression turning to determined but before Ari had a chance to react he snatched a strong hand out around the nape of her neck and pulled her roughly against him, his mouth claiming hers in a kiss so deep she literally felt her knees buckle. Disorientated and confused, Ari’s body let his hard kiss pull her in and melt her insides. She clung to him, his heart pounding beneath her palm, the muscle of his strong bicep beneath her other. He tightened his grip on her when she unconsciously kissed him back, pressing her flush to his hard chest, one hand cradling her head, the other gripping her hip. He groaned as Ari’s tongue flicked against his, responding to the ever deepening kiss. Every piece of her felt tight and overwhelmed, shaken and weak.
I’m not weak!
Ari made a startled noise as she realized what she was letting him do. Again! She shoved him back with all her might, her Jinn energy sparking in her fingertips, ready to use against him if need be.
Charlie staggered back, his chest rising and falling hard as he tried to catch his breath. “Don’t tell me I don’t want you.”
Ari’s eyes widened ever so slightly at the vehemence in his words but she shook her head determinedly. “I didn’t say you didn’t want me. I said you didn’t want me more than you want revenge.”
“You and it are two completely separate things. I don’t even… you’re making this more complicated than it needs to be.”
“No. You did that for me when you became a sorcerer.”
“So what… that means…?” He shook his head, anger etching back into his features along with panic. “You… we’re really not…?”
Ari shook her head, her heart pounding as she gathered herself to voice something she couldn’t take back; something she didn’t want to take back. “I don’t want to be with you, Charlie. I love you, but I think the boy I was in love with died a long time ago…”