“I’m sorry too,” Bethany whispered.
Her face was a wreath of mortification, red suffusing her cheeks. As Ash stalked by Jace, he muttered, “What a dick,” and then got into the elevator.
When Jace glanced back up at Bethany, prepared to demand an explanation, tears glittered in her eyes and her shoulders were slumped in defeat. She wouldn’t even look at him.
His stomach knotted and he immediately regretted the conclusions he’d jumped to. He couldn’t even call them conclusions. He’d lashed out because he was already pissed, frustrated and tired. All he’d wanted was a quiet evening alone with Bethany and he’d arrived here to see Ash up close and personal with Bethany.
Fuck, but he’d done it again. Spoke without thinking. And now Bethany was next to tears. He’d embarrassed her and he’d pissed off his best friend. He was beginning to make a regular practice out of being a first-class a**hole.
“Bethany,” he said in a quiet voice as he closed the distance between them.
She flinched away the moment he tried to touch her. She turned her head, clearly trying to hide her tears from him. And that pissed him off even more. Not at her. At himself. Because he’d f**ked up.
“You still don’t trust me,” she whispered brokenly. “I don’t know why we’re doing this. I can’t do this, Jace. I won’t be with a man who continues to think the worst of me when I’ve done nothing to deserve it. I’ve given you everything. My trust, my heart. You may have given me material things, but you’ve given me nothing that truly matters.”
“My love doesn’t matter?” he demanded.
This time she met his gaze with her liquid eyes. They were fiercely determined, her mouth drawn into a tight line.
“You cannot stand there and tell me you love me when you think so poorly of me. You may be in lust with me, you may be infatuated. But you do not love me.”
“Don’t tell me I don’t love you!”
His pulse was roaring in his ears and panic clawed at his throat. He damn well did love her, and the hell of it was, he did trust her. After he’d calmed down, he knew damn well she and Ash weren’t doing shit behind his back. He trusted her and he damn sure trusted his best friend. Neither of them would ever do anything to betray him.
But he’d reacted emotionally and lashed out at the two people he cared most about. Because he was a hotheaded dick with a shitty temper and a propensity for biting the people closest to him.
Jesus, he had to get his shit together. Starting right now.
“You say you love me, but your actions say otherwise.”
Her voice was quiet and resigned.
“Words are just words. The evidence is in how you act, how you react. What is wrong with you? You never even asked what Ash was doing here. Didn’t ask why. Other than asking us what the f**k was going on in that accusatory, shitty voice. And it wasn’t really a question you wanted an answer to anyway. It was more of an ‘Aha! I caught you in the act!’”
Jace closed his eyes. “I’m sorry, baby. I know damn well you weren’t doing anything behind my back. I knew it then too. I’m in a shitty mood, had a shitty day and I took it out on you and Ash.”
“Apologize to him,” she choked out. “You hurled a horrible insult at him. He’s your best friend. You’ve been best friends for twenty years. You’ve only known me a few weeks, so I guess I can’t ask for more in the trust department. But what you thought of him was just shitty.”
“I know. I know, baby. And yeah, I’ll absolutely apologize to him, but first I have to make it right with you.”
“You can’t make this right,” she said sadly. “No amount of saying I love you and I trust you makes it true when it isn’t.”
“What are you saying?” he whispered, fear paralyzing him.
“I’m going to pack my stuff and go. And no, I’m not running off or being irrational. But I can’t stay here. Not anymore. I’ll go back to the other apartment. It’s not like Jack is there anyway. I’ll figure out what to do next.”
As she started toward the bedroom, Jace caught her arm and pulled her roughly against his chest.
“No. You aren’t going,” he said with fierce determination. “The hell you’re going anywhere. We’ve been over this, baby. You stay and fight. Throw something at me. Yell at me. Do whatever you have to do. But you stay and fight for what we have.”
Her gaze was heavy and dull when she looked directly in his eyes.
“What good does it do for me to fight when you won’t?”
He sucked in his breath. Then he tightened his grips on her shoulders, curling his fingers inward to keep him from shaking.
“You aren’t going anywhere tonight,” he growled. “It’s cold and it’s snowing. You stay here where it’s safe.”
She closed her eyes, averting her face with a sigh. “Fine. I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“The hell you will.”
He fingered her collar, flicking at the diamond.
“You sleep in my bed. That’s not negotiable. No f**king way you’re going to sleep on the couch.”
Her shoulders slumped even further and she wrenched away from his grasp. Without a word, she walked toward the bedroom, leaving Jace kicking himself with every breath.
Christ. He had to catch Ash before this went too far. He had been a complete dick. He’d let Bethany cool off. He’d catch Ash, apologize and then he’d come back to Bethany when emotions weren’t running so high. And then he was going to grovel like hell and swear on all that was holy that he’d hold his f**king tongue in the future.
He pulled out his cell and punched Ash’s number in.
“What the f**k do you want?” Ash demanded.
Jace winced at the fury in his friend’s voice.
“You very far?”
“I’m getting into the car now.”
“Don’t. Have him circle. I’ll be right down. Meet me in front.”
“Fuck you.”
“Just do it, Ash,” Jace said softly. “You and I both know I was an a**hole. I’m not letting you leave pissed off.”
“Too late for that,” Ash snapped.
“I’ll be down in two minutes.”
He disconnected the call and hoped like hell Ash wasn’t so pissed off that he wouldn’t come back inside. He already felt like the biggest jackass on the planet.
Jace hurried into the elevator and rode down. When he got off, he made certain he positioned himself where he’d see if Bethany tried to bolt. When he glanced toward the entrance, he was hugely relieved to see Ash stalking back through the doors.
When Ash saw Jace, his features twisted into a glower and he strode to where Jace stood.
“What the f**k is your problem, man?” Ash demanded. “I cannot believe the shit you just pulled. Apart from the fact that you insulted the hell out of me, you shit all over Bethany. A woman who has done nothing but love you and put up with your bullshit from the start. You want to talk about being an a**hole the other day? What the f**k was that shit you pulled just now?”
Jace held up his hands. “I’m sorry, man. I know there wasn’t anything going on. I do. I don’t even question it. Don’t need to know what was up because I know whatever it was is cool. I’ve had a shitty day and all I wanted was to get home to be with Bethany and when I walked in and saw you touching her and saw her f**king smile . . . God, she hasn’t smiled like that for me in days. She was lit up like a f**king Christmas tree. It was so bright and breathtaking that it goddamn hurt to look at her. And I just snapped. It was stupid. Neither of you deserved it. But I took out my anger and frustration on you both.”
Ash just stared at him for a long moment. “This shit’s got to stop. This is twice you’ve bit at me. I’m not taking it a third time.”
“I get it,” Jace said quietly.
“What the fuck, man? Did you honestly think she would cheat on you? Or is this some f**ked-up response to me sleeping with her that first time we were all together? Because she doesn’t deserve that from you. She accepted something we offered and you’ve been punishing her for that ever since. If you want to blame someone, take a look at yourself. If you’d been honest from the start, that night would have never happened and you would never have to look at her and remember me f**king her.”
Jace flinched at the blunt assessment. But Ash was right. One hundred percent right. It was twisted, but he realized Ash had hit on something Jace hadn’t even realized. He was, in a small way, punishing Bethany for something she hadn’t even orchestrated. He couldn’t stand to see her and Ash together because he was reminded of that night. And even though he’d been able to joke with Ash about it in the office earlier, it was because Bethany hadn’t been there.
“No, I don’t think she’d cheat on me,” Jace said quietly. “And you’re right. She doesn’t deserve this. You don’t deserve this. I couldn’t let you walk away without apologizing. I don’t want this between us anymore.”
“If you don’t want it between us, then you need to deal, Jace. Because Bethany and I are cool. We’re okay with what happened and we’re okay moving forward. She’s still embarrassed as hell over it, which makes what you just did even worse. We’d worked it out. That’s what we were discussing when you barged in acting like an a**hole.”
Jace’s brows drew together. “What do you mean, ‘worked it out’?”
“It means I told her I didn’t want her to be uncomfortable around me and that I wanted us to be friends. I see the way she looks at me when we’re together and how awkward things are. If you and she are going to be together, I thought it was important that we bury the hatchet and that I try to make things as comfortable and as easy between us as possible. That’s what you saw, Jace. Certainly not me making moves on your woman.”
Jace rubbed his temples. “I’m sorry. I f**ked up again. Swear to God, it’s all I do.”
“And why are you down here apologizing to me when it’s Bethany you need to be begging forgiveness from?” Ash demanded.
Jace blew out his breath. “She’s upset.”
“Understandably so.”
“Yeah. Absolutely.”
“So, then why aren’t you up there with her?” Ash persisted. “Tell me you aren’t giving her up. Because I’m telling you right now, you do that and I’ll move in and I won’t be the a**hole you’re being.”
Jace’s nostrils flared. “What the fuck? So you do have feelings for her.”
Ash shook his head. “All I know is that she’s a beautiful, desirable, sweet-as-hell woman. That already places her miles above the women we typically fuck. I’d be perfectly happy to see where a relationship would take us. I already know we’re compatible in bed.”
“Fuck you,” Jace snarled.
Ash smirked. “Then maybe you should get your ass up the elevator and make sure she’s not going to leave your ass.”
Jace averted his gaze. “There was something different this time. She wasn’t so much pissed as she was . . . defeated. It was scary as fuck. She got teary-eyed, but she tried to hide that from me so it wasn’t like she was manipulating me with tears. And she was just so resigned and matter-of-fact. I went too far this time, Ash. Trust has been an issue with us before. My mouth has gotten ahead of my brain more than once and I’ve bit at her, said shit I didn’t mean, and it hurt her. Just like I hurt her a while ago. Not sure she’s going to be so quick to forgive this time.”
“Well, you won’t know until you get your ass up there,” Ash said calmly.
“Are we good?” Jace asked in a quiet voice.
Ash’s shoulders went up and down as he blew out a deep breath. “Yeah, man, we’re good. But swear to God, you won’t get a third time to pull that shit with me.”
Jace nodded and then held up his fist. Ash bumped it. Hard. Jace nearly winced as Ash’s knuckles cracked over his.
“Go make this right with your girl,” Ash said. “Because if you don’t, I will.”
Jace scowled and Ash laughed.
“Knew that would motivate you,” Ash said, amusement heavy in his voice.
Jace punched him in the arm and then turned back to the elevator. “Later, man.”
“Let me know how it goes with Bethany,” Ash said quietly.
“Will do.”
• • •
When Jace entered the bedroom, he saw that Bethany was already in bed. She was curled into a tight ball, her back turned to the center of the bed so she’d face away from him.
She was also wearing pajamas when she always wore nothing to bed. It was one of his rules—the first she’d blatantly broken.
He sighed, knowing damn well he wasn’t going to take her to task for not obeying the no-clothing-to-bed dictate.