Worse, somewhere along the line she hadn’t exactly “fallen” for him. No, she’d skipped that bit and had progressed straight to loving him. They’d worked together so closely these past two years, she already knew Blake was the type of man she admired and respected. And falling “in” love implied she could fall “out” of love with him—like she’d done with Carl. With Blake, she knew there would be no retracting her love for him.If only she could.
Oh, God, loving Blake had taken her further with her emotions than she’d ever dared venture. And now she had to survive until she could leave for good. She had to remain tough. She would constantly have to keep something of herself back. Last night during their lovemaking, she’d only managed to keep a lid on it through sheer terror—only by telling herself he would run in the other direction if he knew how deep her feelings went. Talk about emotional involvement on her part!
And now more than ever she had to leave at the end of her month’s contract. She couldn’t stay permanently. Blake had been honest enough to admit he couldn’t handle emotional involvement and she believed him. If he discovered she loved him, he’d be horrified. He’d probably have her on the next plane out of Aspen before she could blink. Even if he didn’t, she couldn’t risk giving him such a strong emotive power over her. A power he might use in and out of the bedroom to get her to stay.
For all the wrong reasons.
Yet would Blake manipulate her in such a way? He was, after all, the man she loved. An honorable man. Would he really do any of those things? Her heart remembered his generous lovemaking and said no. Her head remembered the hard businessman and said maybe.
Making love to a woman certainly changed things, Blake decided as he watched Samantha eat breakfast in the hotel restaurant. He’d sat opposite her like this many times in the last two years but it had always been about work. Now all he could think about was being inside her again.She’d been so generously tight last night when he’d finally buried himself in her softness. It had almost sent him straight into orgasm. Only the need to give her more pleasure had held him back. Never before had that happened to him. He’d always made sure his partner had been fulfilled before taking his own pleasure, but this time her pleasure had been totally his. It had been the ultimate experience for him. How could that other man—that Carl—not have wanted her in his bed? Idiot!
“Tell me something, Blake,” she said, cutting into his thoughts as he buttered a slice of toast.
“Anything.” Well, not quite anything. He wasn’t up for a meaningful discussion this morning. He merely wanted to sit here and soak up this beautiful woman in front of him.
She tilted her brunette head to one side. “Did you tell Andy to add the candles last night at dinner?”
He was relieved at the simple question. “Sorry, no. I wasn’t planning on seduction. At least, not until I was sure you could handle becoming my lover.” He smiled. “I’ll light you some candles tonight, though.”
A feathery blush ran across her cheeks but she looked pleased. “I’ve just realized something. You’re a romantic, Blake Jarrod.”
“Sometimes.” He liked to romance a woman as much as the next guy. “But don’t get the wrong idea that I’m a softie.”
She nodded. “Got it. Hard in business. Good in bed.”
He gave a low laugh. “I like that assessment.” He also liked to think he was both things in and out of bed, but he wouldn’t embarrass her further. Not here.
But tonight…
“I keep forgetting to mention this,” she said, “but I haven’t thanked you for taking such good care of me the other night.”
“Oh, I think you did thank me,” he said pointedly. “And you can thank me again later.”
“Blake!” she hissed, but he could see she was enjoying this sexual interplay.
“What?” he drawled. “I’m just saying—”
A figure appeared at their table. “There you are, Sam,” Joel said, giving them both a smile but causing Blake’s mouth to clamp shut. “I’m glad I caught you. How are you this morning? How’s the head?”
“Fine, Joel. No aftereffects at all,” she assured the doctor.
“You’re taking things easy, I hope?”
Her eyes made a quick dart across the table then back up at the other man. “Yes.” Her cheeks had grown a little warm and that in itself appeased Blake.
“Good. Then how about we take in that movie tonight?”
She looked at Blake again. “Oh, Joel, I’m sorry, I can’t.”
“Tomorrow night, then?”
Blake held his tongue. He wanted to lay claim to Samantha and tell the other man to shove off, but he’d first give her the opportunity to do it.
“Um, Joel. Perhaps not.” She shifted in her seat. “I’m returning to Vegas in less than two weeks’ time and then I’m going home to Pasadena for good once I wrap things up there. So, you see, there’s a lot to be done here right now. I need to work full-on with Blake until then.”
Blake was dumbfounded.
“You’re leaving?” the other man said, sounding shocked, echoing Blake’s thoughts. “I can’t believe that.”
Another echo of his thoughts.
She looked slightly uncomfortable. “Yes, I know. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but it was something that hadn’t been finalized until now.”
Joel gave a small nod. “I understand. Maybe we can get together in Pasadena sometime in the future? We’ll at least have to get together for coffee before you leave.”
She slipped him a smile. “That would be lovely.”
Blake was vaguely aware of the other man walking away from the table, but he only had eyes for one person. “Samantha,” he growled. “What the hell is going on?”
Her look seemed cagey. “I didn’t want him knowing the truth. Our affair is our business and no one else’s.”
Anger stirred inside him. “I’m not talking about our affair, and you know it. Dammit, don’t tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about.”
She lifted her chin. “You’re talking about me still leaving,” she clarified. “I’m sorry, Blake. Did you think that I would change my mind?”
“Yes, I damn well did.” He’d expected her to stay now, not because he’d enticed her into staying but because she wanted to. And hell, she didn’t seem to understand that he’d made a big concession in not seducing her in the bathroom yesterday morning. Now it felt like she’d slapped him in the face. He’d given. She’d taken. And now she was giving nothing back.
“But why, Blake? Our lovemaking hasn’t changed anything. We both decided it would only be physical and nothing more. No commitment, remember?”
Her words appeared to be reasonable, but for all that she had a peculiar look in her eyes he couldn’t decipher. “That’s still got nothing to do with you leaving.”
“Doesn’t it? I was leaving before we made love and I’m still leaving, so what’s changed?”
Damn her. She was right. Even so, he couldn’t explain it. He just knew something had changed and he didn’t want to decode it. He just wanted her to stay and enjoy what they had for a while. They could at least get a couple of months together. Why leave while the going was good?
She shot him an unexpected candid look. “Blake, you asked me if I could handle a sexual relationship, and I said I could. It sounds to me like you aren’t handling it.”
His mouth tightened. “I’m handling it.”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t—”
“Blake,” a male voice called out, and Blake instantly knew who it was. He stiffened. Damn the world! His twin brother was the last person he wanted to see. Guy had always understood him—sometimes more than he understood himself. Right now wasn’t a good time to put that to the test.
He shot to his feet, turned and headed for the private elevator. “It’ll have to wait until later, Guy,” he muttered, striding past his brother.
Guy’s steps faltered as he approached the table. Then as he came closer, he looked at Samantha with mild amusement. “Was it something I said?” he quipped in that easygoing way of his.
Samantha couldn’t smile if her life depended on it. “He’s got a lot on his mind.”
Guy sobered. “Yeah, I know.” He sent her a penetrating look that reminded her of Blake. “I hear you’re leaving.”
She nodded, still surprised word had gotten around the family so fast, and even more surprised that they were genuinely sorry to see her go. It wasn’t like she was a friend of the family…or marrying into it.
“I’m glad I saw you,” Guy said, drawing her back to the moment. “Avery and I would like to have you around for dinner before you go.”
Somehow she managed a faint smile. “That would be very nice.”
“Blake, too, of course.” Silence, then, “He’ll miss you when you leave.”
“Maybe.” Maybe not. “I’ll find him an excellent replacement.”
“It won’t be the same.”
Her throat constricted. “He’ll get over it.” She stood up. “You’ll have to excuse me, Guy. I need to start work. There’s a lot to do.”
Guy stepped back and let her pass, but he was frowning and she could feel his eyes on her all the way out the eatery. Thankfully she had a few moments of privacy as the elevator took her to the top floor.
If only Blake wanted her to stay because he loved her, then things would be perfect. But for him this was only about two things—the job and sex. It wasn’t about love. She sighed. She’d have to be crazy to think he would make a commitment. And she hadn’t wanted a commitment before anyway, so why the heck was she even considering it now?
She must have rocks in her head.
Or have been hit on the head with a rock. It must have caused more damage than she’d thought. Why else would she be unwise enough to love a man who wouldn’t let himself love in return? That bruise must have addled more than her brain. It had addled her heart.
Thankfully Blake’s door was shut when she entered her office so she sat at her desk. Come to think of it, she felt a little better knowing she had hoisted Blake with his own petard. That was rather clever of her. He’d sprouted all that talk about not getting emotionally involved, but clearly his emotions were involved, albeit not enough and not the ones that mattered most to her.
They didn’t entail love.
God was merciful just then, when not only did the phone start to ring but one of the staff who had a meeting with Blake walked into her office. Samantha got busy, putting on her professional persona as she placed the caller on hold, buzzing Blake on the intercom to tell him his first appointment was here. At his request, she ushered the staff member into his office, all the while keeping her face neutral whenever she looked at her boss. He seemed equally as disinterested in her, though she knew otherwise. What he was and what he seemed were two different things. She could recognize that in another person. After all, wasn’t she an expert at the same thing?