Tessa had experienced episodes of depression since her hearing loss, but she’d found herself in her darkest days after her parents were both gone, leaving her alone in a hearing world when she had none. Isolated and feeling separated from the rest of the world, she’d had to battle her way out of the darkness and back into the light. She’d finally escaped after Liam had come home and she’d reached out for counseling. Tessa had never talked about her near-death experience to anyone. How she’d gotten to the point of no return she couldn’t fathom now, but she’d been there, ready to take her own life just to escape her anguished existence.
Maybe it had crept up on her a little at a time. Maybe she’d always just gone through the motions after going deaf. The dark cloud had descended when Rick had dumped her, but then she’d had her mom and dad, a reason to stay alive, people who loved her. Too much pain, blow after blow, had rendered her helpless to fight her depression. She was recovered now, for the most part, but she sure as hell knew she couldn’t go back there again.
It isn’t like I didn’t want to give in to Micah, experience the pleasure he could give.
However, she’d grown to like him, and she knew that if she stepped into his fire, she probably wouldn’t come out unscathed. There was no future for them. No billionaire with the whole world at his disposal would ever fall for a small-town deaf woman. She wasn’t feeling sorry for herself. Tessa was done with that. But she did live in reality. Sometimes, for her, the world was much too real.
She didn’t need counseling anymore, having worked through the life issues that had spurred her spiral downward. Rationally, she knew she needed to avoid anything that could trigger her sadness if she could. And thinking of Micah Sinclair as anything other than a friend could bring nothing but heartache.
I have to accept the way things are, the way I am now.
As she started skating faster, building up speed, she felt the cool air wafting over her face, her entire body humming with excitement. If nothing else, she could be grateful to Micah for this, giving her a means to go back to doing something she loved. Skating was a part of her that had been missing for a long time.
Executing a few double jumps to warm up, she gained speed to finally try a triple. She went into the jump a little off, recognizing immediately where she erred, but it was too late.
She ended up with her ass on the ice.
Brushing off her old skirt as she rose, she could almost hear her former coach’s voice in her head, telling her she needed to concentrate.
She gasped as her shoulders were grasped by strong hands, her body suddenly facing Micah.
Her eyes shot to his mouth.
“Christ! I’m sorry. I should have never pushed you into this. Are you hurt?” His face showed nothing but worry for her. He moved his hands up and down her arms.
“I’m fine. If I had a dime for every time I fell on my backside while practicing, I’d be rich,” she told him with a laugh. “I was trying a triple. I knew I’d be rusty after almost a decade.”
His face was stern as he replied, “Let’s go. This is too dangerous. I wish I had never encouraged you to skate again.”
Now he thinks I’m fragile, not able to handle anything because I told him I’d experienced a period of my life that I just couldn’t handle. Is he worried about my sanity, or my physical well-being?
Tessa grabbed one of his hands. “No. I’m glad you did. I needed this, Micah. And I’m used to falling. It’s part of the training.”
“I don’t want you to get hurt.”
It was funny he was saying those words, because her heart ached just from seeing his worried expression. When was the last time any guy cared about whether she was hurt or not? Only her brother, Liam. “It won’t kill me,” she joked. “I have no doubt I’ll fall again and again until I get the routine down.”
“I can’t watch that. Let’s go.” He tugged on her hand.
“I’m not done.”
“You’re done. There’s no way you’re falling again and again just to perform. What if you break bones?”
She smiled at him. “My coach used to say I bounced well.”
He scowled at her. “That’s not funny.”
She yanked her hand from his. “It’s going to happen.” Truly, she was floored by his fierce objections. He meant what he said. He wanted her to walk out of the arena and never come back. “I can’t quit. You know how many attempts it can take to get something right, and you’ve done the same thing plenty of times,” she said desperately. “Please.”
Technically, he could drag her out of the rink. He owned it now.
She needed so much to succeed, not just for the money, but for her psyche.
He hesitated as though he was considering his options. Like Micah Sinclair had any reason to object if she kept falling on her ass? The man did things that would probably make her hair stand on end.
“No. More. Triples.” He said the words slowly, as though it was the last thing he wanted to utter, but was doing it anyway.
“Thank you,” she replied, knowing she’d have to practice them alone. But she had a key to the rink. She could come here when Micah wasn’t around to perfect her more complicated jumps.
“You’re thinking about coming here alone, aren’t you?”
Busted! She nodded reluctantly, unable to lie to him after all he’d done for her.
“Don’t even think about it. You can do simple jumps for your routine. You aren’t competing.”