“Yes. A habit I don’t need to adhere to anymore.” Some of those old rituals might die hard, but they were going to bite the dust eventually. It was time for her to realize what she liked, and to please herself.
Gabe handed her a mug, and sat down across from her with his own coffee in his hand. “Check and see if it’s okay.” He nodded at her cup.
Chloe sipped, letting the taste of sweetened coffee roll over her taste buds. “Perfect,” she said with a satisfied sigh of pure bliss. It had been a long time since she’d tasted coffee this good.
“Good. Now tell me how you’re holding up. Any regrets about the broken engagement?”
Chloe looked into Gabe’s beautiful green eyes, which were currently registering a deep concern that showed in his entire expression. Something about his demeanor wouldn’t let her lie to him, or omit any truths.
“No regrets,” she answered carefully. “But I need to tell you something because I’m working for you. I’m not going to be in peak physical condition for a week or so.” Chloe kept her eyes locked with his, her heart melting as she saw him frown, appearing worried now.
“Why?” he asked gruffly. “Are you sick?”
She shook her head slowly. “No.” There was no easy way to say it, but she needed to explain. “Gabe, I was pregnant. I had an early miscarriage and I’m still recovering. I lost the baby a few days ago.”
Chloe thought she’d gotten over the initial shock and trauma of the incident, but she realized that she probably hadn’t when she broke down in tears and started to cry.
Chloe sobbed out her sorrow while she was seated on Gabe’s lap, sheltered in his arms in the living room. He’d lifted her from her seat at the kitchen table and had been cradling her body on his lap in a recliner as she’d cried ever since.
She wasn’t sure how much time had passed.
She’d barely noticed when he’d transported her in his arms to the living room.
Now, she was finally becoming aware of her surroundings again.
“I’m so sorry,” she choked out as she swiped at the endless barrage of tears on her face.
“Don’t, Chloe. Let it all go,” Gabe said huskily as he stroked her mass of tumbled hair that he’d released from its confinement.
She wrapped her arms more tightly around his neck and rested her head against his chest. “I thought I was okay with it. I was barely pregnant, about five weeks. Sometimes I think I feel guilty because part of me is relieved, but another part is grieving over the loss. I don’t know how to feel,” she said breathlessly, exhausted from crying. “I think the worst part of it all is James’s manipulation. He gave me my birth control. He said he had plenty of samples.”
“What happened then?” Gabe asked gruffly.
“They were placebos. Zane tested them for me. He just called me with the results this morning. James wanted me to get pregnant. Maybe he sensed that I wanted out, or he wanted to get on with the wedding faster.” She’d been horrified, but not necessarily surprised. She’d been suspicious from the moment she’d realized that she was miscarrying.
“You need to see a doctor.” Gabe’s voice was suddenly demanding.
“I already did. I went to Denver. I didn’t want anybody to know. I couldn’t go here.” Once the cramps and bleeding had started, she’d been pretty certain what was occurring. She’d never had heavy periods or cramps, even in her teen years before she’d gone on birth control. “I went to Zane because I needed his help. I wanted to know if James had switched my pills. The ones he gave me for the last few months looked different, but he said they were just a different brand. Zane took me in to see a doctor friend of his who specializes in gynecology to make sure everything was okay.” Chloe took a deep breath and finished shakily. “Everything was fine. The miscarriage was complete. Zane took the bottle James gave me to analyze the contents, and the doctor gave me a birth control shot instead of the pills.”
“You needed somebody to take care of you,” Gabe answered fiercely. “You shouldn’t have gone through this all alone in Denver. You could have called me, Chloe.”
Strangely, she’d wanted to call Gabe because she’d been so horrified. But in the end, she knew it was something she had to handle herself. She’d talked to Natalie about it, and she’d tried to work through the emotional pain and confusion of miscarrying. Judging by her reaction this morning, she obviously was not quite over it yet.
“It happened naturally. It happens to women all the time. I think it was the shock that really threw me.” Chloe couldn’t believe she was actually discussing all of this with Gabe, but somehow it seemed easy to share it with him when she couldn’t seem to discuss it with anyone else except Natalie.
“Does Aileen know?” Gabe tightened his arms around her protectively.
“No. Please don’t tell anyone. I’m not ready for that yet. Zane is the only one in the family who knows, and he promised to keep quiet.” She’d made excuses to Lara for skipping their morning sessions for the last several days, telling her sister-in-law she was busy getting ready for her new job.
“You can trust me, Chloe. I’ll never tell anybody anything you don’t want to be known. But we do things my way. No work right now. You can familiarize yourself with the ranch, but you let me take care of you for a while,” Gabe demanded.
She let herself relax against Gabe’s heavily muscled body, wondering what it would be like to have a man take care of her for just a little while. It would definitely be…different. “Gabe, I don’t need to be taken care of. I’m ready to go back to work. I just needed you to know that I’ll probably be a little slow.”