‘I know,’ I whispered soothingly, my tears falling faster. ‘I know. I feel it, too.’
‘You never told me that, though,’ he answered a little harshly. ‘You always kept something of yourself hidden from me, and I didn’t know. I couldn’t tell if you felt the same way. That’s why I got drunk on Saturday night. That’s why Nate came around the next morning to talk to me. He convinced me you felt the same way.’
‘How did he do that?’
‘I asked for his opinion about you and he said, “You’ve nothing to worry about, mate. That girl thinks you’re ‘it’ and I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t think it.” ’
I suddenly remembered Cam’s attitude once Nate had left. It was like someone had flipped a switch inside him. Gone was the quiet, subdued, moody man from the night before. In his place had been a seducer. The rough sex against his desk … I remember thinking at the time that it had felt like a claiming. Now I didn’t think I’d been too far off the mark.
Relief, intense relief, washed through me and I rested my head against his warm chest. ‘You told Blair this?’ I murmured against his skin.
‘I told her I was in love with you and that I didn’t think it was a good idea to renew our friendship.’
Another tear fell, splashing his skin.
‘I hope those are happy tears.’
I sobbed now, the well of emotion inside me too much to contain after everything I’d been through. ‘I love you,’ I cried, holding him tighter. ‘So much I want to kill you sometimes.’ I hiccupped attractively.
Cam laughed softly. ‘The feeling is definitely mutual, baby.’
‘So what now?’ I sniffled.
‘Now? I endure the agonizing wait for those ribs to heal up so I can have my wicked way with you and show you just how much I f**king love you.’
I grinned through my tears. ‘I feel your pain.’
Cam grunted in response.
We lay there in silence for a moment and then I pulled back to look up into his gorgeous face. ‘I think I have to leave Mum, Cam. I don’t know how I’m going to bring myself to do it.’
Another soft kiss grazed my lips and I tugged him back to me, ignoring the pain so I could kiss him, long, hard and deep. We finally broke apart, panting.
God damn these stupid ribs.
‘We’ll worry about all that later,’ Cam said. ‘For now, let’s just get you on the mend.’
‘Can I tell you I love you again?’
He nodded slowly, his expression earnest. ‘I’ll never get tired of hearing it.’
31
‘So any word from the mysterious Marco?’ I asked Hannah, leaning against her bedroom wall, watching as she taped a poster of the lead singer of one of the biggest indie rock bands in the world to her wall. My girl had good taste.
Hannah blew air out between her lips, stepping back from the wall to analyse the poster. ‘I’m helping him with a paper for school, so I’ve seen him quite a bit.’
‘I detect from the tone that nothing of import has happened?’
She looked at me over her shoulder. ‘I think there might be some sexual tension between us.’
The matter-of-fact reply caused no small amount of snort choking on my part. ‘Sexual tension?’
Turning fully towards me now, Hannah stared at me with the nonplussed expression of an academic facing a theory she found baffling. ‘Well, I fancy him, so I don’t know if it’s me projecting those feelings into the situation or if the tension between us is due to the fact that the feelings are mutual.’
I thought of the tension between me and Cam before we started dating and then studied Hannah. The girl was stunning and way too built for a fifteen-year-old. A teenage boy’s Kryptonite. I smirked. ‘He’s feeling it back.’
Her eyes brightened with hope. ‘You think?’
‘Definitely.’
Pleased, she began to hang up another poster, grinning like an idiot. ‘So how’s your ribs?’
‘Unfortunately still sore.’ It had been a week since the attack, and after spending seven days of bed rest in the flat, I’d begged Cam to let me attend Sunday dinner. Seeing my desperation, he’d agreed it was time I got out of the flat. Considering I had to go back to work tomorrow, I was counting it as a practise run. Leaving the flat with Cam and Cole in tow, I was surprised to find that I was still a little nervous and jittery being out and about. As we got on the bus, I found myself glancing back on to the street to make sure Murray Walker’s face wasn’t in the crowd.
Cam caught me and deduced what I was doing. The clouds that gathered in his eyes made me feel loved, but it upset me that part of the blackness in their depths originated from his feelings of helplessness over the whole situation. Basically, he felt guilty that he hadn’t been there to stop it, which was sweet but silly and irrational. As it turned out, we both needed comforting about the whole ordeal. I’d taken his hand to let him know I understood, and he had kept me close beside him to let me know he understood.
Our relationship had changed in the last week. Our confessions of love had brought us both the security we needed. I didn’t think it would cure either one of us of our possessiveness, or the flare of jealousy we felt when an ex-partner was mentioned, but knowing that we trusted each other had made us stronger.
It had also made me horny as hell, and not being able to do much about it was killing me.
Assuaging my frustration was the knowledge that it was killing Cam, too.
‘Done.’ Hannah stepped back and we gazed around her newly poster-decorated bedroom. ‘What do you think?’