The wind was bitter and bracing on North Bridge. It whipped my short hair back and stung my cheeks. It felt good.
I smiled at Cole as he walked beside me. Jo was just a little ahead of us, talking on her phone to Cameron.
Three months ago. Well, just under. That’s how long since I saw Marco – my last image of him was India Place… that horrified look in his eyes as he dressed and then hurried from the room. I didn’t expect to hear from him after he’d taken my virginity and then rejected me, but after four weeks of nothing I finally went to ask after him at his uncle’s restaurant. Imagine my total and complete heartbreak to learn that he’d left for America weeks ago. Without saying good-bye.
My family and friends had noticed my despondency. They were worried. I was worried. When I didn’t feel numb, I felt like crap. I’d had a sickness bug that I couldn’t seem to shake, and I had pains. I didn’t feel like myself and I knew if I didn’t go to the doctor soon, my parents would force me to.
Everyone was taking their turn with me. Trying to cheer me up. Today was Jo and Cole’s turn. Cole and I were friends, not close friends since he was a year younger and we went to different schools, but I found his presence soothing. He didn’t ask a lot of questions, which was always nice when you didn’t have a lot of answers.
Jo grinned over her shoulder at us and murmured something into her phone.
“What do you think she’s saying right now?” Cole squinted against the winter sun.
“That we make a cute couple,” I answered wryly.
Cole looked surprised. “You think?”
“Something I’ve learned watching the women around me fall in love… it makes them want everyone else to fall in love.”
“I’m not sure I like where this is going.”
I laughed weakly. “Don’t worry. I’m not interested in falling in love. We can fight any attempts at matchmaking together.” I felt a stab of pain in my abdomen and flinched.
“I kind of have a girlfriend anyway,” Cole confessed, distracting me from the pain. “I haven’t told Jo yet.”
I smiled. “Yeah? What’s her —” Violent pain shot through my abdomen and I bent double, sucking in my breath.
“Hannah.” Cole wrapped his arm around me. “Jo!”
More pain. Agonizing. I think I screamed. I felt a rush of wetness between my legs.
Pain. Nausea.
Fear.
Black spots in my vision, hundreds, thousands… until all was just black.
There was a beeping sound.
It was bloody annoying.
Pushing through the dark of sleep, that beeping sound grabbed hold of me and pulled me into consciousness. My eyes fluttered open slowly, my vision hazy. I took in the fading cream-colored walls of the room. The polystyrene ceiling.
Where the hell was I?
I felt weird. My mouth dry. My body weighted.
Catching movement out of the corner of my eye, I turned my head on the unfamiliar pillow to find my mum sitting on a chair beside the unfamiliar bed I was in. Her elbow was braced on the arm of the chair, her chin braced on her hand.
Her eyes were closed. Her cheeks pale.
The beeping behind me seemed to speed up.
“Mum?” I tried to say, but it just came out as a croak. “Mum.” I tried again, more successfully.
Her lashes fluttered and then she was looking at me in surprise. The surprise immediately disappeared as her face crumpled and she started to sob.
“Mum?” Scared, I lifted my arm a little to reach for her hand and I spotted the IV stuck in the bend of my elbow. “Mum?” My voice shook now.
She grabbed my hand. “Oh sweetheart, you’re okay.” She smiled through the tears.
“What happened?”
“Hannah?”
I turned my head to see my dad standing in the doorway. His features were strained, his eyes bloodshot. He rushed toward the hospital bed and leaned over me, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “Sweetheart,” he whispered hoarsely.
I started to cry. Silent tears. “What happened?”
A little while later a doctor arrived to explain. She introduced herself as Dr. Tremell, my surgeon.
She stood on my right, while my parents stood in each other’s arms on my left. Dr. Tremell stared down at me kindly. “Hannah, you had what is called an ectopic pregnancy.”
What? Pregnant? No. I turned to look at my parents in denial. “No… I would have… known.”
The doctor shook her head gently. “Sometimes with an ectopic pregnancy there is bleeding, spotting, that is often confused with menstruation.” She must have seen on my face that that’s exactly what had been happening these last few weeks. “An ectopic pregnancy is when a fertilized egg implants itself outside of the womb. In your case, Hannah, the egg implanted inside your left fallopian tube. Unfortunately, because you were unaware of your pregnancy, any symptoms you might have had were not picked up on.”
The sickness. The pain.
I closed my eyes in disbelief.
“The egg continued to grow inside your fallopian tube until it ruptured the tube. You were bleeding internally when you arrived at the hospital. We had to perform surgery immediately. As I explained to your parents, we lost your heartbeat but managed to resuscitate you.”
I’d died?
I looked at my parents and saw it written all over their faces.
“Hannah.” Dr. Tremell’s voice had grown softer. “We removed the damaged tube and you should make a full recovery from surgery. We’re administering pain medication to you, but if you feel any pain, please let your nurse know and we’ll administer more if needed.”