Chapter Fourteen
Ava had no idea what she hoped to accomplish here, but she found herself rooted to Mac’s doorstep at three a.m. What if he wasn’t alone? For all she knew, he and Gwen had worked things out. She shuffled from one foot to the other, indecision almost choking her as she debated returning to her car and leaving. She had taken a few steps backward when the porch light suddenly lit the area and the door opened. She blinked, trying to adjust to the sudden glare. “Ava?” Mac sounded surprised, clearly not expecting to see her standing there.
“Oh . . . yeah—hi,” she said lamely. She sounded like someone trying to sell Tupperware. Squeezing her eyes shut, she scrambled for something to say. Why was she here again? Oh yeah, that was right, she was now a glutton for punishment and couldn’t help herself.
When she opened her eyes, Mac seemed to be looking behind her as if seeking an answer to what was going on. Her eyes dropped from his face to the naked width of his chest. Oh, holy mother, all those muscles and that smooth skin, just inches away from her . . . When she was able to continue her downward review, she saw that he was wearing only a pair of low-slung boxers that left very little to the imagination. He had the V and the happy trail of hair that every romance novel in the world paid homage to. Ava licked her suddenly dry lips when she noticed the impressive bulge beyond the waistband of his shorts. “Ava . . . Ava!”
Ava’s head jerked up and embarrassment flooded her at being caught ogling his assets. From the smirk on his face, he knew exactly what had been on her mind. “Mmm-hmm?”
“Why are you here? Is something wrong?” His surprise had now turned to concern as he studied her intently. He might be mad at her, but he still cared. She felt a little burst of hope. It wasn’t much, but she’d take any crumbs he threw out at this point.
“Ella had her baby,” she blurted out, finally remembering the reason behind her visit. Not having Mac at the hospital to share the moment had left a void inside her. Mac always came to family functions. He’d been an unofficial member of the family for so long. Brant had assured her that he’d let Mac know that Ella was in labor, but he had something come up and couldn’t make it.
Mac gave her a soft smile. “Yeah, I heard. A little girl.”
“Sofia Grace,” Ava added. Since Ella’s parents argued over which parent or grandparent the baby would be named after, Ella and Declan finally picked two completely neutral names. Her parents weren’t happy about it, but the decision was now officially inked and drying on the birth certificate.
Almost as if in reflex, Mac reached out to squeeze her shoulder. “That’s great. I’ll have to get by to see her tomorrow.”
Mac dropped his arm and they both stood staring at each other. “Mac, I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I miss you . . . so much.”
“Ava—don’t,” he said in a pained voice.
Hearing him sound so tormented was more than she could bear. Without thinking, she covered the short distance between them and wrapped her arms around his big, warm body. He stiffened against her hold, and she just knew he was going to pull away, so she clung tighter, trying to fuse her body with his. “Please, Mac, hold me. We need to get past this. I don’t know how to exist without you in my life.”
Just when she thought he would reject her, she felt a hand against her lower back, then another one curl around her neck. “Oh, Avie,” he whispered against the top of her head as he pulled her into him. “I don’t know what to do with you anymore,” he admitted in a shaky voice.
Her hands moved up and down his muscular back, awed at the sheer strength under her fingertips. She trailed kisses along his chest, loving the feel of him under her tongue. “Let me stay . . . Please, Mac . . . I need you.”
A growl rumbled against the back of his throat as his arms flexed around her. “Ava . . . God, don’t ask me that if you don’t mean it.”
She moved her arms up higher, locking them around his neck. She did a quick, internal check, noting that there were no signs of panic at being this close to a man. Was it always meant to be Mac who finally helped her bury the horrors of her past? She stood on her tiptoes until she could rest her lips against his. She swiped her tongue across his full lower lip, causing him to moan in reaction. Still, he remained immobile, as if waiting to see what she would do next. His lips were parted slightly, allowing her to suck his bottom lip between her lips, nipping it lightly. “Ah . . . fucking hell,” he rasped as his hands dropped to her bottom and he pulled her up against him. Going completely on instinct, she used her hands around his neck as leverage to pull her body upward, wrapping her legs around his lean waist. His hands on her ass added support as he gripped her tightly. “Avie—oh, baby . . .”
In a whirlwind of movement, she founded herself on the other side of the door and holding on tightly as Mac nearly ran through the darkened hallways of his house until he reached the door of what she knew to be his bedroom. “If you’ve changed your mind, you need to say it, baby. I’ll stop at any time, but I’d prefer it to happen now . . . before I have you under me.”
In answer, she ground her lower body against the hard length pressing against her bottom. Locking her eyes with his, she said, “I don’t want to stop.” Then knowing it was okay to be vulnerable with Mac, she admitted, “Just tell me if I do something wrong.”
Mac dropped his forehead against hers, seeming to struggle for words. “Baby . . . there is no right or wrong. Just having your hands on me—finally—is enough to send me to heaven. We’ll take it slow and if anything doesn’t feel right, then we stop, okay?”
Nodding her head against his, she allowed herself the freedom to sprinkle kisses over his handsome face. Being this close to Mac was like discovering a lost Christmas present. She was both giddy with excitement and trembling with the anticipation of the unknown. “I . . . I want to touch you. Can I?”
With a grin, Mac set her gently onto her feet. “Of course, sweetheart. You never need to ask me that.” He pulled her into his bedroom, stopping at the bottom of his king-size bed. Spending as much time as they had together the last few years, they’d both been in each other’s home countless times. She’d been in his bedroom when he gave her the tour of his home and a few other times—well, a lot of times that he wasn’t aware of. Each time she used the restroom across the hall, she crept in here and imagined what it would be like to be in a relationship with him. To sleep in Mac’s arms each night without fear or hesitation. To be normal.