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Love Left Behind(80)
Author: S.H. Kolee

Resentment was boiling under my skin when I left Larry's office. I couldn't believe my career was in jeopardy because of some stupid bitch who wanted to sell some records. My anger got me through the rest of the day, erecting an invisible armor around me from the stares and whispers. The one chink in my armor was when I had to go across town to a client meeting, which Craig took me to. My client politely pretended that my face wasn't currently plastered on every gossip rag, but I heard the whispers as I left his office.

"What does he see in her? She's nothing special."

"What a slut. I can't believe someone could be so low as to ruin Jackson and Candace's relationship."

"I heard she slept with Jackson in the same bed that he shared with Candace."

I wished I could shut my ears closed with my fingers and run away from the stares of censure, but I forced myself to walk with my head raised high, acting like nothing was affecting me.

At least no one was talking about me audibly at my own office. Celeste had stopped by several times to see how I was doing, realizing that being associated with Jackson was not the boon she had expected considering the viciousness of the articles written about me.

I received several texts from Jackson throughout the day, checking to see how I was and making sure Craig was being my shadow. I thanked him for providing me with him, although I wondered if I should ask how much his services cost, not wanting to be financially obligated to Jackson.

He became angry when I voiced that thought when he called me later that night, just as I got home from work.

"You don't need to pay me back, Emma. This is all my fault. I shouldn't have been so careless."

"Still," I hedged. "I don't feel comfortable with you footing the bill. It's not your fault Candace is making up these lies."

"We'll discuss it later tonight. I'll be over at around nine."

"Is that a good idea? What if the reporters see you? They're still hanging outside my building, even with Craig here."

"You'll understand later. Watch Entertainment Reporter at seven. I gave them my first interview."

Jackson ended the call without saying anything else and I checked my watch, seeing that I still had half an hour before the show aired. I forced myself to make a sandwich and eat it despite the lump in my throat that made it difficult to swallow. This was the first time in a long while that I had lost my appetite.

It was torture waiting for seven o'clock to roll around and I was glued to the television screen when the intro for the entertainment news show came on.

"We have an exclusive interview with Jackson Reynard about his split from Candace Stile," the host announced. "I spoke with him earlier today and what you're about to hear will change your opinion about everything."

The show cut to a prerecorded video of the host interviewing Jackson. I swallowed when I saw Jackson onscreen, looking as beautiful as he was solemn. The close-up on his face showed his green eyes looking serious, while his tousled hair gave him an air of boyishness.

"Jackson, the press has been pretty relentless about your break-up with Candace Stile. I'm glad that you're finally telling your side of the story, but what made you decide to grant an interview? It's no secret that you're usually reticent about giving interviews regarding your personal life."

Jackson leaned forward, looking at the host with sincerity shining in his eyes. "Andy, it's because I need to speak out for the one person that's being wrongly vilified in this situation. I'm the one to blame for this whole mess. It's true that Candace and I dated casually. She's a valued colleague and someone I admire, but in reality, it was more of a friendship than anything else. The problem was I couldn't fall in love with anyone, I couldn't let anyone in."

"Why is that, Jackson?" the host asked, looking visibly excited by what Jackson was sharing. He was practically chomping at the bit for Jackson to spill his guts.

"It's because my heart already belongs to someone else. Long ago, before anyone knew who I was, I fell in love with a girl who gave me a purpose in life. She was the reason I woke up the in morning, the reason why I was determined to become a success. Because I wanted to be worthy of her. It sounds maudlin, but she was truly my soul mate. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, but a stupid misunderstanding got in the way. We broke up, but I never stopped loving her. I still think about her every morning when I wake up. She's still the last thought in my head before I fall asleep at night."

Even though I knew Jackson was acting, my heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. All the feelings that Jackson was describing was what I had thought our relationship was like. It was the way I felt about him. It was incredibly painful to hear those words coming out of his mouth, knowing that it was all an act.

The host leaned in closer. "Then what happened?"

Jackson smiled self-deprecatingly. "I'm not usually one to believe in fate, but I can't believe it was just by chance that we met again. I was at a business dinner when I looked across the restaurant and saw her. My world stopped. I think I may have stopped breathing. And I knew then that I couldn't lose her again."

"And this woman is Emma Mills? The woman you've been photographed with?"

Jackson nodded, pressing his lips together before continuing. "I pursued her, but she refused to have anything to do with me until I broke things off with Candace. Emma was the honorable one, not me. I couldn't think of anything else besides being with her. I was impatient and didn't want to wait because Candace was out of the country preparing for her single to drop. But at Emma's insistence, I waited until Candace was back in the States and I let her know that we were over. I think the problem was that I might have been too gentle in my explanation to Candace. I don't think she understood that I wanted to end things, not just slow down. It was my fault for not being clearer, but I was trying not to hurt her."

The host sat back with a sigh, clearly enraptured with the story. "So that's why she thought you were cheating on her."

"Yes. Like I said, it was my fault for not being clearer, but once I realized what people thought, I had to speak out because I couldn't stand all the things people were saying about Emma. She's beautiful and kind, sweet and forgiving. I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to be someone who deserves her."

"So are you two together now?"

Jackson smiled wryly. "I'm trying to convince her to give me another chance. I think all the publicity has scared her off. She's a very private person and she's not used to life in the spotlight." Jackson's smile disappeared, replaced with a look of determination. "I'll give up my career if it means being with her. Nothing is as important as having her by my side."

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