We are perfect for one another. You know you'll never do better than me. Please give me another chance. I miss you. I know you miss me.
I hesitated to delete it, reading it twice more before finally hitting the delete button. I flipped back to the article on Sebastian, looking at the perfect woman that was making him laugh. He was so handsome and the two of them made an amazing looking couple. They would have beautiful children. Besides, looking at their elegant surroundings, I would never fit in there.
Maybe Chad was right. Maybe he was the best I could have hoped for. I looked in the mirror again and saw another piece of seaweed.
Bastian deserved someone better than me. He deserved someone who could fit in his world and complement him. I would never be able to wear that red dress without being incredibly self conscious and having to adjust it every two seconds. The woman in the picture didn't appear to have that problem.
I sighed and closed the window. I needed a shower.
***
I followed the smell of bacon into the kitchen. Bastian was busy mixing something in a bowl while bacon hissed and sputtered on the stove behind him. He had showered and shaved, but was wearing just a t-shirt and shorts. He smiled as he saw me come in.
“Ready for breakfast?” He held up the bowl. “I'm making waffles.”
I went to the coffee pot, pouring another cup. This was the last day of this tranquil domestic scene. The last day I would have this coffee mug and the last time Bastian would make me waffles. I didn't want this dream to end.
“I can't wait,” I told him, smiling and sipping at my coffee. He grinned and poured the first waffle into the waffle iron.
“You want to make the eggs?” he asked. “Yours are better than mine.”
I smiled at the compliment and went to the fridge to pull out the eggs. I was going to miss this.
“You're awfully quiet,” Bastian noted, checking his waffle before flipping the iron. “You okay?”
I pushed the butter around the skillet, watching it melt and change into something else.
“I leave in a few hours,” I said finally, my heart aching at just saying the words. I didn't want to leave, but I had to get back to my life. I had to get back to Dad. He was getting a pacemaker and I needed to be there for him. I had responsibilities and I couldn't stay in the Caribbean playing happy honeymoon forever.
“I know.” Bastian's voice held as much sadness as mine did.
“What happens next?” I asked. I cracked an egg, watching it sizzle in the butter before I mushed the yolk into a yellow mess. I turned around slowly to watch him.
“What do you mean?” Bastian removed his first waffle and put it on a plate. It was a perfect golden brown. He added more batter to the iron.
“What happens with us, Bastian?”
It was one of the few things we hadn't discussed this past week. We both had silently agreed to avoid it, finding other topics far more interesting. Our time together had been better than either one of us could remember, but we both knew that talking about it meant that it would come to an end. Except, even without discussing it, it was still ending.
“I don't know.” He ran a hand through his hair, spiking the still damp golden-brown tresses up. “I don't want to lose you, though.”
I turned around, focusing on stirring the eggs. I knew what had to be done. What had to be done to keep us both from making promises we couldn't keep.
“I think we should just end it.”
“What?” Bastian's voice cracked slightly.
I turned the heat down on the eggs and turned around, biting my lip. This needed to be done. I was giving him his life back because I wouldn't fit in it. I never would have fit.
“I have to go back home,” I said slowly. “You have to go back to New York. I can't work in NY. You can't work in my tiny town.”
“We could find a way,” he insisted. He set down the bowl of waffle batter.
I shook my head. “Bastian, you're a billionaire. I'm not. You drive luxury cars and I drive my cousin's hand-me-down car. You deserve someone better than me.”
There. I said it. The truth was out now.
“No, I don't,” he growled.
“Yes, you do,” I insisted. I motioned to my sunburned nose and cheap clothes. “Look at me. I can't go to your fancy galas and dinner parties. I don't fit in that world.”
Bastian's gray eyes narrowed. “You could.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “When I leave tonight. I leave.”
“Ava...”
“It's been a wonderful trip, but that's all it was.” I swallowed down the ache in my heart. I wanted to throw up, but this was how it had to be. He deserved someone worthy of him and his world and that person wasn't me. He would drop me just like Chad did, only harder. It was only a matter of time before he saw that I wasn't worthy of him. I couldn't take that pain. The knowledge that I didn't deserve him and he just hadn't realized it yet pounded in my head like cruel drum beats. I had to make them stop. “Let's not make this into something more than the two of us having a good time.”
The waffles started to burn.
Hurt painted across his face in broad strokes. Shock and anger replaced it. His scar was livid against his pale cheek as he processed my callous words.
He ripped the waffle iron out of the wall and threw the entire thing in the sink. I jumped at the loud and angry motion. The iron clattered and hissed against the stainless steel sink, smoking and steaming as the ruined waffle ran out the sides.
He turned and stormed out of the kitchen, leaving the mess of waffles in his wake. I held my wooden spatula in shock as I heard him thunder up the stairs. The slam of his study door made the mansion shake and I could hear the harsh turn of the lock even from the kitchen.
My eggs were burning.
I didn't care. Saying those words had hurt far more than I had expected. They were lies and I knew it, yet I had said them.
I pushed them to the side, sliding down to the floor and sobbing for the man I knew I couldn't have.
Chapter 22
One week. One glorious week.
I put my swimsuit carefully away in my suitcase. I couldn't believe how fast the week had gone. I needed to find my sandals and put them in next, but I was taking my time and moving as slowly as possible. I didn't want the week to end yet. I wasn't ready for it to end yet. I didn't want this dream to end.
The week had been a glorious blur of Bastian, paddle-boarding, art, and the most mind-blowing sex I had ever had. Up until this morning, it had been heaven.
I was going to miss Bastian, but I knew it was better for him for me to end it. It wasn't just the sex that made him so amazing, though it certainly didn't hurt. If I ever told him that he was sweet, he would most certainly deny it, but it was true. He was incredibly intelligent with a sharp sense of humor that had me laughing and smiling without realizing it. He deserved someone worthy of him. Someone better than me.