We stared into each other’s eyes, neither of us saying a word. I felt him position himself at my opening and I fought the urge to close my eyes. I didn’t want to be in the dark for this. I didn’t want to miss it so I kept them open. Kane slowly and carefully began to push himself inside me. Right away I could feel the discomfort and sting from my body experiencing something it never had before. Gradually he inched himself deeper and deeper until I couldn’t help but wince from the pain, causing him to immediately stop his movement.
“Are you okay? Do you want to stop?” Concern laced his every word.
I wildly shook my head back and forth. “No. I just need a second to get used to it, is all.” I tried my best to give him a reassuring smile. After a few seconds the overwhelming feeling passed and I nodded for him to continue. He seemed a bit apprehensive at first but I lifted my hips causing him to sink just a tiny bit deeper to let him know I was sure.
He closed his eyes and lowered his head and began his slow push again. I held my breath. I wasn’t really in any pain; it was just all so overwhelming. I could feel my body stretching to accommodate him, and even with all the discomfort, I felt at peace.
Kane was propped on his elbows and I could see the trembling of his arms out of the corner of my eye. Was this uncomfortable for him? I didn’t know what else to do so I turned my head to the side and kissed his bicep. I didn’t want this to be uncomfortable for him. I wanted him to feel the peace I was feeling. I gave his arm another slow kiss and when I turned my head back he was staring at me.
His breathing was shaky and uneven, but he didn’t say anything as he drew in a breath and gave one last, long, final push. My hands shot to his back and I gripped his skin with my fingertips. He lowered his head to my shoulder then let out his breath. Everything around us was still. I couldn’t hear any sounds other than my wildly beating heart and our unsteady breathing. It seemed like hours passed with us just lying there, not moving but I knew that couldn’t be the case.
My body had finally adjusted to him and I was dying for him to move. Even though my body had never experienced this before, it was like an old memory and it knew exactly what it wanted and how to get it. I lifted my hips again but Kane placed a hand on them to still them.
“Now I’m the one who needs a minute to adjust,” he huskily laughed. “You feel so incredible, Kelsey, and its taking all my will power to not do what my body wants to do. And what my body wants is to pull back out and slam right back in.”
I gaped at the open sky. As horrible as it sounded to be slammed into, it also lit me on fire at the thought. What was with me? My mind and body were having an internal tug of war and I didn’t know who to listen to anymore.
I kissed Kane’s cheek to let him know I was comfortable, that I was ready whenever he was. He slightly pressed his cheek harder into my kiss then began slowly pulling back out. I felt discomfort again but this time it was different. This time is was discomfort about his body leaving mine. Now that I had had him there it felt different to be without him. It felt lonely.
Those feelings didn’t last long though because as soon as he withdrew to the point that I couldn’t take it anymore, he pushed right back in. It was faster and harder than the first time but it was nowhere near slamming like he talked about. It was just right, just enough to make my toes curl and a sound to tear from my throat that I had never heard before.
He did it again, the slow pull out and the fast thrust in. My breathing was becoming uneven and I was sure at any moment I would hyperventilate from my erratic breathing pattern. But I couldn’t stop, and I didn’t want him to stop.
My hands were still on his back and I could feel his skin becoming sticky and then slick. He was sweating and he was trembling. I knew he was holding back from what he really wanted to do for my sake, but I wanted more. I was right at that point where I knew what was coming, but it just wasn’t enough to make me fall over the edge yet. So out of instinct I took Kane’s earlobe into my mouth, lightly caressing it with my tongue before giving it one hard suck and then a bite and that was all it took.
Kane grunted as his thrusts became erratic, faster, and harder … it was just what I needed. I pulled my knees high up around his hips as my orgasm rocketed through my body. I could feel my insides bearing down on him. Gripping him and squeezing him because it knew that it didn’t want to let him go either, like it was trying to hold on to Kane and keep here there forever.
His name tore from my throat, out into the open air and echoed throughout the field. With one final thrust Kane threw his head back and roared, releasing himself inside me before his body collapsed on top of mine.
I had already come down from my high and I took the time to rub slow circles on his back while he composed himself. When his breathing had finally become normal, he looked at me. I couldn’t contain the huge grin that was on my face, and after seeing my smile the same huge dimple-sinking grin that I loved so much appeared on his face.
I started giggling for no reason. I guess I was just so happy at that moment I didn’t know what else to do. “Kane that was … that was…”
“Unbelievable,” he finished for me.
“Yes. Unbelievable.” I smiled and he kissed each of my cheeks, my forehead and then my lips. His cool lip ring touching the heated skin of my face each time he did.
When he stopped kissing me I just looked at him and I was struck with a certainty—one I wasn’t ready to say to him, but I knew in my heart—that I was falling in love with Kane Riley. But as happy as I was about that … it also scared the life out of me.
Kane helped me slip my dress back on. I had to go braless and panty-less since they were still soaking wet from our swim. I was thankful we had taken a truck out here tonight. I couldn’t imagine how horrible the ride home on the back of a motorcycle would be. But after what had just happened I wonder if I would have really minded.
I was still flying high when Kane pulled the truck back onto the main road. Neither of us had spoken much but neither of us could hide the smiles on our faces either. We were both casting secret glances at each other across the cab of the truck until Kane’s hand latched onto my thigh, pulling me across the seat to sit next to him.
“That’s better.” He winked at me and interlaced our fingers before bringing them up to his lips.
So much had changed in such a short time. A few months ago I couldn’t wait to get out of my home town, get away from the place that held the darkest memories that I thought would swallow me up and drag me down, holding me in their darkness forever. Finally away from that place, I was learning to breathe again. Learning to be myself again.