“Hurry,” she said urgently. “They’ll be waking up soon.”
Damon wanted. He really did.
But he swallowed and dragged his eyes away from her, licking his lips.
When he’d fed from her before, she’d turned away from him. She hadn’t wanted him to see inside her mind, hadn’t wanted him any closer than the bond between them already brought them.
He didn’t just want her blood. When he drank from Elena, he didn’t want it to be about food.
“No thank you, princess,” he said. “I’m fine.”
“Don’t be chivalrous, Damon,” Elena said, irritated. “You need this.”
Damon stared down at his feet. “Better not,” he said. “We need to get going.” He took a quick breath, and then looked up at Elena again, shooting her his most brilliant smile. “I really am perfectly fine. It’s healing already.” He brought his hand up to his neck, and found that it was true: The bite was messy and painful, but the wound was clotting.
Before she could argue, he opened his car door and reached over to unlock hers. Once they were in, he pulled out, tires squealing. The false vampires were already beginning to stir.
Elena felt a bit petulant, he thought, cautiously checking their bond—his princess liked everyone to fall in line with her plans—and he concentrated on shutting down the connection between them, trying to broadcast only thoughts about the road ahead.
He didn’t know if she could feel the small bitter ache in his chest, but he surrounded it with layers of don’t ask and private and hoped she would mind her own business.
“You’re being an idiot,” Elena told him sharply. Damon winced and didn’t answer. The warmth that had echoed through their bond earlier was gone.
He couldn’t bear to drink from her anymore.
It was an exquisite torture, tasting her sweetness, reaching out for her mind, her soul—only to have Elena pull away. Sharing blood like that should be for lovers, the most intimate connection there was.
Damon was tired of letting himself pretend. Stefan—his irritating, noble, beloved little brother—was dead, but he still occupied Elena’s heart. And if Damon couldn’t have that place, if that part of Elena was going to be closed to him, he had to let it go.
Chapter 22
“Let’s get just one more vial,” Jasmine coaxed, and Meredith held out her arm.
“Don’t you think you’ve taken enough blood today?” Matt asked, his forehead crinkling with concern. “You’re turning her into a pincushion.”
“It’s fine,” Meredith said tiredly. She hadn’t fed properly for days—just the occasional bird or beast—and her jaw ached. She felt slightly sick, and the smell of the blood flowing beneath Matt and Jasmine’s skin made her lightheaded. She blinked and tried to focus on what they were saying, which had been much easier when she was with Jack and the others. The regular human blood diet had kept her sharp.
Maybe Jasmine could hook her up with blood from the hospital.
Tightening her lips, Meredith shook her head sharply. She could control her cravings.
She had to remember what this was all about. Jasmine was going to find a cure. Meredith didn’t need access to stolen blood—she needed to be human again.
Jasmine drew blood from Meredith’s arm and took a few drops into a pipette to put into a blocky white machine. “I don’t know,” she said, frowning. “I’ve separated your blood out in the ultracentrifuge, and I’ve tried electrophoresis, and analyzed it every way I could think of. I can see that there are differences, and I can get some information on how you’ve changed, but I just don’t know what Jack did to make it happen.”
“Doesn’t his journal tell you?” Matt asked, picking up the leather-bound book and flipping through its pages. Damon had lent it to Jasmine to help with her research.
Jasmine’s mouth scrunched. “It’s big on the effects he observed, but he doesn’t really detail the exact procedures he used to get there. It’s not a scientific journal.”
“I’m sorry I don’t remember more,” Meredith told her. “But it was all like a dream. He injected me with hypodermics, and it took several nights. I think I was under pretty strong sedation, but sometimes I’d wake up and see him standing over me.” Meredith shuddered. “Some of the injections went in at the base of my skull, he wasn’t lying about that, and some went into my arm. And he operated. I remember a scalpel, and other medical instruments.” Matt was staring at her in horror.
Jasmine looked at Meredith apologetically. “I can keep running the same tests and see if there’s something I missed. But I’m not sure how much I’m going to find.” Her eyes shone with tears.
“I understand—” Meredith began, but Matt was already moving forward to wrap his arms around Jasmine.
“It’s okay,” he said, pressing Jasmine’s head against his shoulder. “We won’t give up.”
Meredith stood back and watched them, feeling uncomfortably out of place as Matt lightly kissed the side of Jasmine’s head. Their hearts were beating in time, she could hear them, a steady rhythm.
Was she ever going to be like that again? Would she and Alaric, whom she loved so much, ever be simple and wholly human together?
Probably not. Meredith swallowed hard, tasting bitterness. She wasn’t going to let herself think that way. Jasmine and Bonnie. Science and magic. Maybe they could fix her, make her herself again.
She had to get out of there. Muttering a quick excuse, she swung out of the room, past their startled faces.
Keeping herself carefully to human speed, Meredith made her way toward the hospital exit. She could smell warm, fresh blood all around her, and her throat felt dry and tight. She walked a little faster.
Bursting out through the doors into the hospital parking lot, Meredith realized she was panting. The sun was shining brightly, and she squinted against the glare. She’d go to her car and go out to the woods and drink from a bird or a rabbit, she decided. She needed blood. Without it, she was weak and dizzy, and her emotions were swooping out of control. She felt like crying all the time.
At the far end of the parking lot, there was someone leaning against her car.
Jack.
Meredith slid her hand into her pocket and wrapped it around the cool wood of a stake, her heart pounding. If she could stake Jack, get him down long enough to snap his neck, maybe she could capture him.
Or maybe he was going to kill her first.
He had seen her, was watching her calmly. There was no point in running away, even if she wanted to. Meredith walked slowly across the parking lot toward him. She felt weirdly relaxed. Maybe she was going to die now. Did it matter? Really, she was already dead, wasn’t she? In all the ways that counted.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” Jack said when she got close enough. He held his hands out, loose and open, nonthreatening.
“Oh, yeah?” Meredith halted a few feet away from him. “Good to know.”
“I worked far too hard on you to just waste it all.” The corners of Jack’s eyes crinkled as he gave his familiar affable grin. “Plus, I’m rather fond of you, despite your betrayal.”
Something inside Meredith curdled, thick and sour. He was fond of her? Jack had destroyed her.
“So, let me make you a deal.” Jack boosted himself up to sit on the hood of Meredith’s car, perfectly relaxed. “Bring me Damon Salvatore and I’ll forgive you. The whole thing, erased. You can come back to us, back where you belong. You know living with humans isn’t working.”
Meredith froze, glaring at him. Did Jack really think that, after everything, she wanted to be one of them?
Jack paused, looking at her with his bright, inquisitive brown eyes, and then shook his head. “Take the deal, Meredith,” he said. “If you don’t, I’ll come after your friends. I always get what I want.”
“Go to hell,” Meredith snarled. She clutched the stake in her pocket and gauged the distance between them, her muscles tensing. He was so relaxed on the car’s hood, not alert to danger. If she moved fast enough…
Jack smiled at her, his big, beautiful, warm smile. “Go to hell?” he echoed, his tone light. “This whole world is hell, Meredith, you should know that by now. The only choice is whether you’re a demon or a victim.”
His grin widened, and he leaned back on his hands, turning his face up to the sun. “You know which side you’re on, don’t you?”
Now. Yanking the stake from her pocket, Meredith lunged at him.
And, suddenly, Jack moved so fast that all she saw was a blur. Her hair lifted in the breeze as he passed.
He was gone.
Chapter 23
Dear Diary,
I shouldn’t be enjoying anything about this.
We’re in serious trouble. Jack won’t stop sending his vampires after us until either we kill him or he kills Damon. He’s powerful and relentless, and I know how intelligent he is—he fooled us all.
When I close my eyes, sometimes I see Damon falling, a stake through his chest, and it feels so real. I can see the pain in the tight lines of Damon’s body, the blood streaming from the wound. Agony rips through me—I’m losing something I thought was mine, that I thought was forever.