Social work.
A twisting motion in the pit of my stomach felt like excitement. Social work? I blinked once and then twice. Something about that felt right. Like it totally made sense for me, who had grown up in the system, to want to give back. That kind of job would be super hard, to see the kinds of things social workers had to deal with, but what if I could stop what happened to Rider and me from happening to another child, to help them know that they were real, they were wanted and loved? That would mean something at the end of the day. That would mean something for a lifetime.
Taking a deep breath, I opened my mouth.
“Of course that’s what she wants to do.” Carl laughed. “It’s all we’ve ever talked about.”
Rosa arched a brow. “If that’s what she wants, then I think she would’ve looked at the pamphlets.”
Carl squinted again.
I squirmed some more. “I...I am interested in that, but there are a few...other things I want to check out.”
The squint increased. “Like what, Mallory?”
My fingers tightened around my fork. “Maybe social work?”
“Social work?” Carl laughed again. “You’ll never be able to pay back the student loans required to get that degree.”
My lips pursed as Rosa shot him a look.
“What?” He shook his head. “That wasn’t even a serious answer from her. Anyway, there’s something else we need to talk about.”
I cut off a huge chunk of enchilada as the conversation veered away from college studies to another topic I would just as soon avoid.
“Carl told me about tomorrow,” Rosa announced as I was about to shove a huge forkful of enchilada into my mouth. I froze, eyes wide. Round two was about to begin. “I think it’s a...good idea.”
Huh.
My gaze darted to Carl. He was cutting his enchilada with his fork in short, stabby motions.
“But I do have a favor to ask,” she continued, sitting back in her chair, and I went still, fork halfway to my mouth. “Try setting up a study date when we’re actually home.”
Holy balls.
Rosa smiled at me. Carl kept murdering his food. And I finally put the fork in my mouth. Okay. Round two was not happening.
After dinner I cleaned up and stored the leftovers in the fridge. They’d be perfect for tomorrow, for when I—oh my God—hung out with Rider, and then grabbed my bag and headed upstairs. Carl and Rosa were settled in the living room, and I could hear the Jeopardy music playing. Once upstairs, I opened up my laptop and clicked on the messenger app. Ainsley was online.
Clicking on her icon, I sent her a message.
You there?
A bubble appeared below and then her response:
Always.
I carried my laptop over to my bed and sat down, resting it in my lap.
I need your advice.
I am your sensei.
Rider is going to come over after school tomorrow and help me with my speech, and I’m not sure if I should have extra soda and food. I paused. And stuff.
The bubble immediately popped up.
Wait a sec. Back up. Rider is coming over to your house tomorrow?
I grinned, because I could practically see her face in my mind.
Yes.
Do Carl and Rosa know?
That grin faded and my stomach knotted.
Yes.
I paused.
Carl wasn’t too happy about it, but Rosa was okay.
Mallory Dodge!!! I’m so proud of you! You’re no longer a rebel. LOL.
My fingers flew over the keyboard.
Should I have soda or some food?
You normally have that stuff at the house anyway. So yes? I guess.
Ainsley was right. I already had those things and I was being stupid, but as I stared at her message, I wondered if it was smart to bring him here. Maybe studying at my house was too...too intimate and also not the coolest idea.
As much as Paige was a complete jerk to me, she had valid reasons. Rider coming over to my house would just be another reason for her to dislike me.
My mind raced over the possibilities. We could just go to the library. They had private study rooms. Going there would fix the problem about what snacks to serve. There would be no makeup retouching. That was probably another good thing. I wasn’t that great at putting makeup on and my face couldn’t handle a lot. Ainsley, on the other hand, could teach the beauty vloggers a thing or two.
Satisfied with my decision, I relaxed.
I think I’ll just ask if we can go to the library.
A couple of moments passed before she responded.
Um. Why?
I think it’s just smarter, I sent back after a few seconds. His girlfriend wouldn’t be happy with him being at my house.
Who cares about his girlfriend?
Ainsley!!!
I’m just kidding, she typed back. Though you’d think if it was a problem, he wouldn’t have agreed to come over to your house in the first place.
Good point.
It’s just easier to go to the library.
The bubble reappeared.
You’re weird, but I still love you and I have a question for you. A serious question. Totes serious.
My brows rose.
Okay.
Do you like Rider, like really like him?
The knots were making another appearance, but for a totally different reason. Did I like him, like him? The knots were pretty telling, but saying it made it real and something I couldn’t take back.
And I couldn’t make it real.
I liked Rider, really liked him, in a way that was so different than when we were kids. It was like being twelve all over again, but the crush this time around was much more powerful. And I knew it wasn’t right to have those feelings. He had a girlfriend and no matter how much I liked him, that wouldn’t change. I was okay with that. I had to be. What I was beginning to realize I felt for him belonged only to me.