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Heartless(10)
Author: Marissa Meyer

Jack, halfway across the room, was patting his tangled hair with both hands. Everyone laughed, and Catherine remembered Mary Ann saying that Jack had intended to steal the Joker’s hat as a means of initiation.

‘My sincerest apologies,’ said the Joker, smiling in a very unapologetic way. ‘I haven’t the faintest idea how this hat came to be in my hands. Here, you may have it back.’

Jack stormed through the crowd, his face reddening fast as people chortled around him.

But as he reached for the still-spinning hat, the Joker pulled away and turned the hat upside down. ‘But wait – I think there might be something inside. A surprise? A present?’ He shut one eye and peered into the hat. ‘Ah – a stowaway!’

The Joker reached into the hat. His arm disappeared nearly to his shoulder – far deeper than the hat itself – and when he pulled back he had two tall, fuzzy white ears clasped in his fist.

The crowd leaned in closer.

‘Oh my ears and whiskers,’ the Joker muttered. ‘How cliché. If I’d have known it was a rabbit, I would have just left him in there. But as it can’t be helped now . . .’

The ears, when he pulled them out, were attached to none other than the master of ceremonies, the White Rabbit himself. He emerged sputtering and peering round-eyed at the crowd, as if he couldn’t fathom how he had got into a beret in the middle of the ball.

Catherine pressed her hands over her mouth, stifling an unladylike snort.

‘Why – I never!’ the Rabbit stammered, flopping his big feet as the Joker settled him on to the floor. He swiped his ears out of the Joker’s grip, straightened his tunic, and sniffed. ‘The nerve! I will be speaking to His Majesty about this blatant show of disrespect!’

The Joker bowed. ‘So very sorry, Mr Rabbit. No disrespect was meant at all. Allow me to make amends with a heartfelt gift. Surely there must be something else in here . . .’

As Jack made another swipe for his hat, the Joker nonchalantly pulled it out of his reach and jingled the hat beside his ear.

‘Oh yes. That will do.’ Reaching in again, he emerged this time with a very fine pocket watch, chain and all. With a flourish, he presented the watch to Mr Rabbit. ‘Here you are. And see there, it’s already set to the proper time.’

Mr Rabbit sniffed, but when the glitter of a diamond set into the watch’s face caught his eye, he snatched it out of the Joker’s hand. ‘Er – well. I’ll consider . . . we shall see . . . but this is a fine watch . . .’ He gnawed on the watch’s hook with his large front teeth, and evidently determining that it was real gold, slipped it into his pocket. He cast another unhappy glare at the Joker before scrambling off into the crowd.

‘And for you, Sir Jack-Be-Nimble, Jack-Be-Quick.’ The Joker offered the hat to Jack, who grabbed it away and slammed it on to his head.

The Joker started and raised a finger. ‘You may wish to—’

Jack’s eyes bugged and he whipped the hat off again. A lit tapered candle was sitting in a silver candlestick on top of his head. The flame had already burned a smouldering hole into the top of the beret.

‘Hey, I’m trying to get some sleep!’ cried the candle.

‘I beg your pardon.’ The Joker reached forward and pinched the flame with the fingertips of his leather gloves. A curl of smoke wrapped around Jack’s head as the corner of his good eye began to twitch. ‘That’s peculiar. I thought for sure you’d be jumping over the candlestick, but this is all upside downward indeed.’

The guests were in fits, many laughing so hard they didn’t hear the echoing caw of the raven as it dropped off the chandelier and swooped towards them. Catherine took a startled step back as the raven brushed past her ear and settled on to the Joker’s shoulder. The Joker did not flinch, even as the raven’s talons dug into his tunic.

‘With one last bit of wisdom, we must bid you a good night.’ Reaching up, the Joker tipped his own hat to the crowd. ‘Always check your hats before donning them. You never know what might be lurking inside.’ The bells jingled as he pivoted on his heels, making sure to face everyone in the audience.

Catherine straightened as he turned her way, and – winked at her?

She couldn’t be sure if she’d imagined it.

His mouth lifted quick to one side and then, before her very eyes, his entire body melted into inky blackness. In the space of a heartbeat, the Joker had transformed into a winged shadow – a second raven.

The two birds fluttered towards a window and were gone.

CHAPTER 5

THE NEW COURT JOKER was all anyone would talk about. Even the dancing went forgotten as the guests realized that the paper notes covering the floor contained more than just hearts – some had black diamonds, red spades, white clubs. Some, the shadow-profile of a raven. Others: a crown, a sceptre, a three-pointed joker’s cap. Some guests made a game of collecting as many of the different designs as they could, hunting for shapes they might have missed.

The gigglemug King was jollier than Cath had ever seen him. Even halfway across the ballroom she could hear his pitched voice demanding that his guests confirm that, yes indeed, it was the most astounding entertainment they’d ever known.

Catherine’s stomach growled, vibrating through the boning of her corset. She’d been so enchanted with the Joker’s performance, she’d forgotten all about her gown’s constrictions and her deepening hunger. She tried to be inconspicuous as she squirmed inside the dress, adjusting herself in the tight bodice, and sneaked towards the feasting table. She spotted Mary Ann laying out a plate of truffles, standing out from the other maids with her beanstalk height and the straw-coloured hair that had slipped from the edges of her bonnet.

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