She’s making too much sense, and she’s thought this all the way out – which is even more alarming. ‘Okay, fine, whatever – but you have to admit that having a kid to raise will interfere with your socializing, whatever form it takes, not to mention your filming schedule.’
‘Will it? How? Newsflash – lots of actors have children.’
‘Not when they’re twenty and alone.’
She’s silent for two beats, and I think that maybe she’ll be reasonable. But no.
‘I’ll be twenty-one in three months, and I’m not without resources and support. But more importantly, you’re missing the point of this call. I’m not trying to convince you of the rightness of my actions or my suitability as a parent. I’m informing you, not asking your permission. If you’d rather I didn’t keep you informed, I won’t. It’s that simple.’
Shit. ‘No – I want to know. I mean, he’s … he’s mine, right? Jesus.’ My heart rate has doubled during this conversation. ‘Brooke, I haven’t told anyone about him.’
‘No kidding.’
‘I mean no one. My parents don’t know. George doesn’t know. John doesn’t know. God … My girlfriend doesn’t know.’
If I wasn’t manoeuvring through snarled LA traffic, I would take a five-second timeout and beat my damned head on the steering wheel. While counting.
‘I saw that online this morning – so it’s true? You have a girlfriend. An actual non-celeb, pastor’s daughter girlfriend. Who you met during court-ordered community service? I was sure the whole thing was all some sort of clever public relations scam to help you dodge your recent weed-smoking, DUI-allegations image.’
‘No scam. It’s real.’
‘Jesus. I don’t even – I’m speechless. You’ve actually managed to shock me.’
‘Well, ditto. This insane conversation is jam-packed with shocking. You want to be someone’s mother, and I want to be someone’s boyfriend.’ I can’t help but laugh, and she joins in, and soon we’re both laughing so hard we can’t stop. ‘We’ve come a long way, Brooke.’
‘Yeah,’ she says softly. ‘We have.’
‘So what now?’
She takes a deep breath before answering. ‘I meant what I said before – I mean to claim River as mine, but I don’t intend to reveal his paternity. So if you want to keep it to yourself, you can.’
‘River? That’s his name? Did you name him – you know, before –’
‘No. The people who adopted him named him. I don’t know why they chose it. Maybe they knew my name and they thought River was a play on it. Maybe they named him after someone. Maybe they named him for the colour of his eyes …’
‘He has blue eyes? I guess that’s not surprising in a kid we’d make.’ I still can’t wrap my head around this fact.
‘They aren’t just blue, Reid – they’re your eyes. He looks like the photos of you that your mom kept in the family room, the ones on top of that baby grand no one ever played.’
My curiosity overrides any sense I’ve got, and I want to know what he looks like.
Brooke, reading my mind, says, ‘Bethany only gave me one photo of him, but I’ll scan it and send it to you, if you want.’
‘Brooke – are you sure about this? What you’re doing? It sounds like he’s had a tough time. You might mean well, but …’
‘I’m sure. I’ll send the photo in a few minutes – I’ll get Kathryn to scan it.’
‘So how long will it be until – you have him?’
‘The attorney said four to six months until I can even lay hands on him.’
‘What?’
‘I know, right? Finally – someone who gets my reaction. I about shit a brick.’
This still feels completely unreal. ‘How will that work? You have to come back to LA to film the show, right?’
‘I don’t know. I think I’m going to have the home study done here, which means I need to establish residence here. I have to talk to Kathryn and Glenn. I’ll have to travel back and forth until it’s final, but I can’t just … leave him here. I can’t just go back to my life, knowing he’s here without me.’
‘But if you can’t see him, what’s the point of staying there?’
She sighs. ‘I’m praying for a miracle.’
The thought of Brooke praying for anything is inconsistent with anything I’ve ever known about her.
Fifteen minutes later, she sends the photo to my phone. I’ve just arrived at George’s office when I pull it up and nearly walk into the glass door. ‘Watch out, dude!’ a FedEx guy yells, waking me from my stupor in time to swerve.
Inside, I stop and stand motionless in the centre of the glass and chrome atrium of my manager’s building. As I stare at the photo on my display, I realize one thing. This wasn’t real. He wasn’t real. None of it was real – not until this moment.
9
BROOKE
I’ve been acting for six years and recognizable since the first season of Life’s a Beach hit the small screen. So I’ve had rude questions hollered at me by gossip reporters as I try to get from my car to my front door. Probing entertainment columnists have interviewed me in conjunction with co-stars from films and cast mates from the show.
In other words, I’m accustomed to people asking seriously violence-inciting shit. But their most invasive enquiries don’t hold a candle to the eighteen-page interrogation I just got from my case worker.