Ugly Love(25)
Author: Colleen Hoover

“Yeah, I remember,” Corbin says.

“You have your superpower now. You can fly.”

Corbin smiles at me in the rearview mirror. “Yeah,” he says. “I guess that makes me a superhero.”

I lean back in the seat and stare out the window, a little envious of both of them. Envious of the things they’ve seen. The places they’ve traveled. “What’s it like, watching the sunrise from up in the air?”

Corbin shrugs. “I don’t really look at it,” he says. “I’m too busy working when I’m up there.”

This makes me sad. Don’t take it for granted, Corbin.

“I look,” Miles says. He’s staring out his window, and his voice is so quiet I almost don’t hear it. “Every time I’m up there, I watch it.”

He doesn’t say what it’s like, though. His voice is distant, like he wants to keep that feeling to himself. I let him.

“You bend the laws of the universe when you fly,” I say. “It’s impressive. Defying gravity? Watching sunrises and sunsets from places Mother Nature didn’t intend for you to watch them from? You really are superheroes, if you think about it.”

Corbin glances at me in the rearview mirror and laughs. Don’t take it for granted, Corbin. Miles isn’t laughing, though. He’s still staring out his window.

“You save lives,” Miles says to me. “That’s way more impressive.”

My heart absorbs those words on impact.

Rule number two is not looking good from back here.

Chapter twelve

MILES

Six years earlier

Rule number one of no fooling around while our parents are

home has been amended.

It now consists of making out but only when we’re behind a

locked door.

Rule number two stands firm, unfortunately. Still no sex.

And a rule number three was recently added: no sneaking

around at night. Lisa still checks on Rachel in the middle of

the night sometimes, only because Lisa is the mother of a

teenage daughter and it’s the right thing to do.

But I hate that she does it.

We’ve made it an entire month in the same house. We don’t

talk about the fact that there are just a little more than five

months left. We don’t talk about what will happen when my

father marries her mother. We don’t talk about the fact that

when this happens, we’ll be connected for much longer than

five months.

Holidays.

Weekend visits.

Reunions.

We’ll both have to attend every function, but we’ll be

attending as family.

We don’t talk about that, because it makes us feel like what

we’re doing is wrong.

We also don’t talk about it because it’s hard. When I think

about the day she moves to Michigan and I stay in San

Francisco, I can’t see beyond that. I can’t see anything where

she won’t be my everything.

“We’ll be back Sunday,” he says.

“You’ll have the house to yourself. Rachel is staying with a

friend. You should invite Ian over.”

“I did,” I lie.

Rachel lied, too. Rachel will be here all weekend. We

don’t want to give them any reason to suspect us. It’s

hard enough trying to ignore her in front of them. It’s

hard pretending I have nothing in common with her,

when I want to laugh at everything she says. I want to

high-five everything she does. I want to brag to my father

about her intelligence, her good grades, her kindness,

her quick-wittedness. I want to tell him I have this really

amazing girlfriend whom I want him to meet because he

would absolutely love her.

He does love her. Just not in the way I wish he loved her.

I want him to love her for me.

We tell our parents goodbye. Lisa tells Rachel to behave, but

Lisa isn’t really worried. As far as Lisa knows, Rachel is good.

Rachel behaves. Rachel doesn’t break rules.

Except rule number three. Rachel is definitely breaking rule

number three this weekend.

We play house.

We pretend it’s ours. We pretend it’s our kitchen, and she cooks

for me. I pretend she’s mine, and I follow her around while

she cooks, holding on to her. Touching her. Kissing her neck.

Pulling her away from the tasks she’s trying to complete so I

can feel her against me. She likes it, but she pretends not to.

When we’re finished eating, she sits with me on the couch. We

put on a movie, but it doesn’t get watched at all. We can’t stop

kissing. We kiss so much our lips hurt. Our hands hurt. Our

stomachs hurt, because our bodies want to break rule number

two so, so bad.

It’s gonna be a long weekend.

I decide I need a shower, or I’ll be begging for an amendment

to rule number two.

I take a shower in her bathroom. I like this shower. I like it

more than I liked it back when it was just my shower. I like

seeing her things in here. I like looking at her razor and

imagining what she looks like when she uses it. I like looking

at her shampoo bottles and thinking about her with her head

tilted back beneath the stream of water as she rinses it out of

her hair.

I love that my shower is her shower, too.

“Miles?” she says. She’s knocking, but she’s already inside the

bathroom. The water is hot on my skin, but her voice just

made it even hotter. I open the shower curtain. Maybe I open

it too far because I want her to want to break rule number two.

She inhales a soft breath, but her eyes fall where I want

them to.

“Rachel,” I say, grinning at the embarrassed look on her face.

She looks me in the eyes.

She wants to take a shower with me. She’s just too shy to ask.

“Get in,” I say.

My voice is hoarse, like I’ve been screaming.

My voice was fine five seconds ago.